Jake request I keep this blog. Say put down words for posterity, maybe future book. Be famous, like Hawking. I tell him, work speak for itself, but he insist. Must humor best student. Write in English, yet still think in Russian. 2001 Sep 01 08:05

I can't believe how fast I got clearance to get into the site. I'm still settling in, but at least I've got my own office! 2001 Sep 10 14:10

I still can't believe it. Everyone wandered around yesterday in a daze. This will be our generation's 'remember where you were when you heard..' The news is still on every station. You can't get away from it. 2001 Sep 12 16:52

Move into new lab today. Delayed because of those madmen in planes. Security suddenly squeaky tight. Air conditioning very cold, must remember to bring sweater. No place to smoke pipe. Will speak to Becker about new computer hubs. Need better routers, more cables. He seem competent yet I wonder. Would rather talk to IT directly. 2001 Sep 15 06:55

My badge finally showed up - the picture looks like crap. Meg says she wants a badge too so we can have picnics in the atrium. Kris tells me equipment deliveries must be done at night so I'll be pulling double shifts. Craig Becker seems so starched. I cracked a joke that got everyone laughing and he just stared at me like I was from Mars. I mean what's with that guy? And Katrina! She met us all for lunch at the café - what an ice queen she turned out to be! I don't think she uttered three words the entire time. 2001 Sep 22 13:55

Golf, it's the most disturbing sport on the planet. It frustrates the hell out of me but I go back every couple of weeks to lose more balls. Things are slow in the lab while we get the new machines up and running. I hope we can start running baselines soon; all this talk about quantum physics in theory is getting boring. 2001 Sep 25 09:22

Jake reading data on SPECTRUM. Perhaps he find our mistake. Perhaps. 2001 Sep 28 06:33

Kris' knowledge is amazing. He's got piles of notebooks from Sverdlovsk. I'm amazed how much they accomplished back then with all that ancient hardware. 2001 Sep 30 23:11

Security in new building bloody nightmare. Cannot remember bloody pass card all the time. Make me late. Cannot take papers to home to work on them. Login only. Becker not listen to reason. 2001 Oct 01 07:01

Good lunch at cafeteria today. Meatloaf. 2001 Oct 03 14:29

Students have somehow pipe in cable TV to computer lab. They watch "Survivor." I tell them must survive my wrath if not get work done on time. Will ask Jake to disconnect. 2001 Oct 05 06:21

Library cannot get all issues of ?????? ???????? ???? or JETP. This is unacceptable. Will speak to Dean at next faculty meeting. 2001 Oct 05 09:08

I'm forcing myself to make an entry today. There is nothing good to report on yet. Kris has been pissed off all week. It's rubbing off on everyone. 2001 Oct 08 17:55

I tell Jake he go on show and win million dollars. Everybody like Jake here. I think he would beat Tina too. 2001 Oct 09 06:36

Argue with Becker about lab visitors. Finally he give Katya pass card. Will take up security issues with Dean. Bloody peon should not be allowed to interfere with operation of my lab! 2001 Oct 10 10:51

New show in Africa. Stupid woman. Beans are for whole tribe. 2001 Oct 11 23:21

Construction on the new Fock center has been delayed because of some paperwork snafu. It seems like every time we get started something comes up and we have to stop again. Stupid bureaucrats! 2001 Nov 5 15:01

Thanks to the idiots in admin, we lost an entire month for no good reason. This is f'in killing me! I understand the need for all this secrecy, but I'm really starting to miss the openness and collegial atmosphere at Riverside. Our new grid interfaces were held up by Becker for four weeks while he checked out the supplier. Then that buffoon shipped them to Fock instead of our current lab and promptly lost track of them. Arrrrrggh! It's a big hole in the ground, you moron! 2001 Nov 21 15:22

Jake ask yesterday why we do this. I think, why not? Not trying to be flip. We are pioneers. We seek new lands beyond our narrow place in history. We do this for the world. 2001 Nov 22 07:01

These new grid interfaces are truly amazing. I'm getting resolution at least three times better than before with half the power loss. I think by decoupling the grid from the amplification matrix, I'll be able to improve by another factor of 10. Need to run it by Kris to see what he thinks. 2001 Dec 10 09:51

Happy Christmas! Jake has gone home, no one else in building, and I sit here with pipe and Messiah on mp3. Tonight will work on unified theory again. 2001 Dec 25 15:32

Katya angry I not come back for dinner last night. Working hard in lab, I forget. Will make it up to her. Buy her nice big cactus plant for present. 2001 Dec 26 06:53

Three days to write a damned status report for HCRD and they kick it back within the hour. I give them 150 pages about the processes, successes, and a list of remaining issues. The come back with, "When?" Kris has been really pushing to review the grid/matrix formulas in the context of his old research. I don't see how that is going to help. No matter. Everyone got the week off to recharge, so we'll hit it with a fresh perspective after the new year. 2001 Dec 30 07:22

Kris and I have been butting heads for two weeks. I'm sure my formulas are telling me we need to scrap the time/space attenuator in favor of something less complicated. With our current margin of error, we could fatally miss by a huge amount and not even realize it. Back to the simulators I guess. There are still too many variables to definitively resolve it. 2002 Jan 15 09:12

Jake looking for new research direction. I tell him, have not fully explored data from SPECTRUM. He say SPECTRUM wrong, must start fresh. Is hard to convince him we must understand our mistakes so to move away from them. 2002 Jan 28 06:23

Katya unhappy but not tell me why. Have not been home much lately. Should send her for weekend away, maybe to spa she telling me about incessantly. 2002 Feb 14 14:14

Sometimes the answers are so obvious they can't be right! I tried replacing the spatial algorithm with a loosely coupled Schroedinger feedback array. When I attenuated the inputs, I was able to perfectly synchronize the temporal and spatial coordinates. I think I've solved the granularity issue! I need to double check my figures and share this with Kris. 2002 Feb 27 20:39

Jake has new theory, will test tonight. Must requisition more cesium clocks. Barbour may be kook, but have right idea. 2002 Mar 01 07:15

This new tribe very boring. Not like good friends in Outback. Backstabbers kick off only decent man. 2002 Mar 28 21:22

As great as it sounded, we're still seeing noise in the feedback loop. Our measurements are useless until we identify the source and compensate for it. No one can figure out where it's coming from. I've ripped every piece of equipment apart and tested the components one by one. And, this morning, I realized I haven't done our taxes. Meg will be really pissed. 2002 Apr 15, 15:27

Progress is, how you say? On the brick wall. Flip switch, nyet! Jake look at design, say he sees problem. Power not strong or stable. Asian circuitboards crap. Worse than Sverdlovsk boards. 2002 May 05 05:11

More power issues. The slightest variation in the initial load is causing a precessional effect that results in the gremlins we've been chasing. Somehow, we need to rectify that circuit until we're at the quantum equivalent of five 9's. 2002 May 30 16:44

Hallelujah! I reworked the control circuit by cascading it through an iterative feedback loop. Looks like we've licked this one for good! 2002 Jun 08 23:17

We're backup and running. Big breakthrough was the exposing a wormhole open for only the slightest fraction of a second. Kris won't sleep while trying to isolate how we can repeat that state and extend the time of the hold. I'm exhausted yet he rolls on. 2002 Jun 10 02:05

We still cannot isolate how we froze the wormhole. I'm beginning to think we need a try something completely different. Kris is off to ask for funding for a larger RHIC. I get to pour over data while he is gone and now someone from higher up has asked for me to begin writing the plan for full deployment of humans through the wormhole and how we prevent a paradox. It's a bit premature but ok. 2002 Jun 21 10:10

Jake add control and feedback circuit to monitor power. It good now. 2002 Jul 01 06:42

Meg and I saw fireworks in Tucson last night. They set the local mountain range on fire. From what I gather from the local news this happens every year. I'm not sure if it was the fireworks or the heat that did it. 101 right now and it is only 10 a.m. 2002 Jul 05 07:20

Yup, we're definitely on the right track. Overnight test results are looking great! 2002 Jul 10 07:17

Something is bothering Kris. Becker seems to have taken a liking to Kat. Bah! Who cares Becker's been in a much better mood. I haven't gotten a parking ticket in over a month! 2002 Jul 17 15:29

My proposal for safety and proper procedures for any human contact with history was accepted with only one change. I wanted a more academic person to return to places we're researching. Becker pushed for military types. They're more disciplined and will be able to react to situations quicker and understand that they are to never be taken alive in drastic cases of emergency. God I couldn't kill myself. I don't care how bad it looked for me. 2002 Jul 30 09:00

Testing going very well, very encouraging. It will be my finest achievement. 2002 Aug 02 06:09

We make first wormhole. It only last for tiniest moment, but it existed! 2002 Aug 07, 10:52

SUCCESS. We've isolated the state! It's not a state of power or timing. Absolute zero was the key; taking the state of quantum foam at that temperature we've been able to stabilize a wormhole. We ran the test 3 times today. Each time we were able to isolate. My god, someday we'll be able to relive history. 2002 Aug 07 22:42

Go to see Becker in his office today and find Katya there. She say she lose pass, come to get new one. 2002 Aug 08 08:32

We are so close! It grow clearer every day, on right path now with this latest project. Must keep enthusiasm under hat, so don't attract unwanted attention before last, crucial test. Cannot even trust myself to talk to Jake out loud about hopes---have not felt this giddy since was young man in school! Will only write things here, where assured some semblance of privacy. 2002 Aug 10 05:52

We've pushed the state of the wormhole wide open. There is no longer a question of how big of an object can we send. 2002 Aug 10 21:12

HCRD officials showed up for the first time today. It's a formal review process. They want to make sure we won't destroy the world and only try to save it. Security credentials of everyone involved are being reviewed. 2002 Aug 12 17:10

We received authorization to do an object send. I suggested an old clock I found in the house we're living in. Kris likes the symbolism of it. 2002 Aug 18 11:47

Becker take Katya out to dinner. I question his decency. She angry and tell me to "mind own business." Wonder if do right thing, bringing her here. 2002 Aug 30 19:58

The clock came back! So did the little cesium clock I stuffed inside. Our measurements were perfect! 2002 Sep 11 08:11

WE HAVE DONE IT! Clock come back intact. Jake and I celebrate with vodka shots. Wake up in chair with headache. 2002 Sep 11 17:45

Meltdown. We've done it. Complete shutdown of the grid for NRU during a power up test. We're going to have to borrow power from the local Catalina grid. All kinds of systems failed safe. It's going to be a couple days before we're back up and running. 2002 Sep 20 19:22

Do not understand why this Ted and Ghandia thing happen. Neither attractive people. Both married. They should know better. Cafeteria serve "blond brownies." Is good with milk. 2002 Oct 03 22:49

Time for Bobo to hop. We'll be sending him back 100 years into the desert and bringing him back, hopefully in one piece. Kat's a little nervous. I think she's really attached to that chimp. She must have a thing for primates. 2002 Oct 09 09:10

Kris and I have been up for too long and now been into his private stash of vodka. Bobo made it back. We were able to put him at the exact elevation and longitude and latitude we projected. I should go home but I can't - I'd blab to Meg and she would think I was crazy. 2002 Oct 10 21:35

We're getting a lot of pressure to begin human trials. Kris is still really concerned about the safety. Between the power failures and spurious entries in the logs, he's not convinced that the margin of error has been fully minimized. 2002 Oct 22 09:42

I've scheduled a huge series of trials to prove to Kris that we're ready for primetime. 2002 Oct 25 07:10

It disturbs me greatly to see them together. She is young, and beautiful, she could have her pick of suitors. He is coarse, with manners of goat. 2002 Dec 01 06:51

We almost did it. Someone pushed that we send someone to watch the attack and document. Kris threatened to leave the program if it happened. 2002 Dec 07 12:02

Something isn't right. I'll be back. 2002 Dec 12 21:01

Jake has disappeared. I find strange settings on machine, worry he hop into timestream. What make him take such foolish risk? Human testing protocol not approved yet. Could shut down entire project. Meeting with Dean and Becker's people later. 2002 Dec 12 23:11

Becker tell me protocol approved weeks ago! But he "lose" paperwork. Is outrageous. If protocol was here, maybe Jake not feel need to test inappropriately, would still be here. 2002 Dec 20 06:17

I hear from old friend today. Still worry about his safety. Hope he will get in touch with his family. There is much to discuss. 2002 Dec 22 08:01

Families should be together at Christmas. If I was separated from a loved one, I would try to contact her, it is right thing to do. 2002 Dec 25 09:55

Happy New Year. Godspeed. 2003 Jan 01 07:32

Meghan come see me today. I give her what information and comfort I am capable of, and still she regard me with this look of desperation. What more can I do? I am scientist, not therapist. I can only hope for Jake's safe return as she does. Her mother is ill. I have friend with clinic in Scottsdale, will send Meg there for consultation. 2003 Mar 26 18:22

I miss fishing. In Moscow, we fish all year long, through ice even. Fishing not so good in desert. Missing Salmon Falls. North fork. 2003 Apr 01 02:03

Summer is quiet. See so little of Katya now. She wears strange clothes, lots of jewelry. Must ask Dean about security budget. 2003 Jun 23 10:06

There can be no other people in possession of this technology, I am sure of it. I do not understand how there can be others "out of time". Maybe is just imagination? 2003 Jul 05 08:11

Meg's mother has passed away. Meg needs the comfort of her family. It is the only thing she has left. 2003 Aug 22 06:19

So-called "Grand Opening" is big pain in ass. Must wear poncy suit and make meaningless smalltalk with idiot donors. Why people like this give money to uni? Is obvious they learn nothing here. Even Katya come, although she hang on goat's arm most of night. Jake should be here. 2003 Sep 08 21:54

Jake has finally returned. The tale he tells is so unbelievable, yet he seems so earnest. What am I to do? This was not meant to be a tool for small minds! 2003 Oct 06 05:51

I have seen the logs, it's true. It grieves me greatly. 2003 Oct 07 06:48

At what cost success? How am I to measure benefit of my work unless am also able to account for its cost? How much is a human life worth? In Russia, in Soviet schools we were taught to think in terms of the collective; the benefit to society is measured as to its whole, not parts. And yet like Bradbury's butterfly, I have kicked up the dust of ages and changed the course of time. It should be my greatest triumph! I have solved the puzzle and conquered the last dimension! Instead I find myself weeping for the loss again, the loss of too many. It is time I made this right. 2003 Nov 30 11:33