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Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » ARG: Anyone Seen James?

Press conference (5/29)

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JustLurking
Veteran

Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 80
Location: Santa Clara, CA

Press conference (5/29)

Quote:

[14:01] * Now talking in #facab
[14:01] * KAshley has joined #facab
[14:02] * NathanGrant has joined #facab
[14:02] <Karmic_Crimewave> Gentlemen.
[14:02] * TSipper has joined #facab
[14:02] <Paulzilla> Hi Kipper
[14:02] <Karmic_Crimewave> And Tom.
[14:03] <Karmic_Crimewave> Play nice, Paul.
[14:03] <KAshley> Everyone, please take your seats, we will be with you in a few
moments.
[14:03] <Paulzilla> Sorry - I've been waiting to use that for ages Razz

[14:03] * Paulzilla takes a seat
[14:04] * Karmic_Crimewave sits
[14:04] <Karmic_Crimewave> Shouuld we be expecting our little buddy from
Infernal Repairs today?
[14:05] * Guest8635 has joined #facab
[14:05] <Paulzilla> Probably not - he's not a side of FACAB likely to do much PR
[14:05] <Karmic_Crimewave> No, but he's damnably irritating enough.
[14:05] * Guest8635 has quit IRC (Quit: Chatzilla 0.9.68a [Firefox
1.0.4/20050511])
[14:06] <Paulzilla> Well there is that - and I quite liked him when he first
came on
[14:06] * DiscoJason has joined #facab
[14:07] <Karmic_Crimewave> Speak for yourself. I dislike anyone who can make Tom
seem like a cuddly guy by comparision.
[14:07] <Paulzilla> He only got like that wen he came on the second time
[14:07] <NathanGrant> Where the hell are the damned reporters?
[14:08] <Karmic_Crimewave> Doesn't change the fact.
[14:08] <Paulzilla> True
[14:10] <Karmic_Crimewave> If they aren't about soon, Mr. Director we always
have the option of making a log of this meeting and sending to the appropriate
members of the press.
[14:10] * AlexDixon|NYTimes has joined #FACAB
[14:10] * JohnKing|NYPost has joined #FACAB
[14:10] <TSipper> You're late.
[14:10] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Sorry
[14:10] <JohnKing|NYPost> Yeah, sorry
[14:11] <KAshley> Damn reporters.
[14:11] <JohnKing|NYPost> Got held up and...
[14:11] <JustLurking> well, that's what you get for having a press conference on
a Sunday during Memorial Day weekend
[14:11] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> I have a good excuse...
[14:11] <NathanGrant> Alright, let us get started.
[14:11] <Karmic_Crimewave> Should have offered free catering. They would have
been here long before any of us.
[14:11] <NathanGrant> F.A.C.A.B. has called this meeting to discuss one James
Vanderhuff.
[14:12] <NathanGrant> We will be taking questions after I am done speaking, I
ask all of you to hold them until then.
[14:12] * Karmic_Crimewave nods
[14:13] * Paulzilla bites his lip
[14:13] <NathanGrant> F.A.C.A.B. formally admits that James Vanderhuff did
indeed work for us.
[14:14] <NathanGrant> However, in the latter part of 2003, he went AWOL.
[14:14] <NathanGrant> We now regard him as a criminal and a possible terrorist.
[14:15] <NathanGrant> We have been informed by some of you that James is in
Uruguay and has been captured.
[14:16] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> "Some of you"?
[14:16] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Oh, sorry
[14:16] <TSipper> Shut up, let him speak.
[14:16] <NathanGrant> I have made the decision that we will not be sending in
any kind of mission to free him from capture.
[14:18] <NathanGrant> If he is seen, he is to be considered extremely dangerous,
and I urge you to call the proper authorities immediately.
[14:19] <NathanGrant> I will now take your questions, one question at a time
please.
[14:19] <Karmic_Crimewave> Mr. Director?
[14:19] * JohnKing|NYPost scribbles notes furiously
[14:19] <NathanGrant> Yes?
[14:20] <Karmic_Crimewave> What is response to the allegations that your agency
has experimented with cybernetic modifications with some of it agents, most
notably Mr. Vanderhuff?
[14:20] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Cybernetic modifications?
[14:20] <JohnKing|NYPost> Cybernetic whats?
[14:21] <NathanGrant> These allegation are completely false, F.A.C.A.B has never
and will never experiment with such technology.
[14:21] <JohnKing|NYPost> Where did these allegations come from, then?
[14:21] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> So there's no truth at all behind said allegations?
[14:22] <TSipper> You heard the Director. No truth. How many times does he have
to say it?
[14:22] <Karmic_Crimewave> And the allgegations that that at least one of your
agents has directly physically threatened a non-US citizen on foriegn soil?
[14:22] <NathanGrant> These allegations were created by people wanting to
discredit what F.A.C.A.B. is doing, there is no truth to them.
[14:23] <KAshley> I have no knowledge of any agent taking such actions.
[14:23] <Karmic_Crimewave> I'm sorry, was that categorical denial directed to my
question?
[14:24] <Karmic_Crimewave> What evidence, if any do you have that James
Vanderhuff has committed any criminal acts?
[14:24] <NathanGrant> Who was been threatened?
[14:25] <NathanGrant> I'm sorry our evidence files are classified.
[14:26] <Karmic_Crimewave> Sir, I had firsthand correspondce with at least one
person in connection with Alesha Periwinkles search for James Vanderhuff how
has informed me that his life was threatened by at least one FACAB agent
[14:28] <NathanGrant> I have no knowledge of such action being taken.
[14:28] <TSipper> Obviously unreliable.
[14:29] <KAshley> Yes..Of course
[14:29] <Karmic_Crimewave> Might we also inquire about the status of any case
against former agent Emily Jacobson.
[14:29] <NathanGrant> No you may not.
[14:30] <TSipper> That case is unrelated to this press conference and is also
classified information, you have no business with it.
[14:31] <Karmic_Crimewave> Your director answer was more than sufficent, Angent
Sipper.
[14:31] <TSipper> You seem to be relentless in your quest for knowledge that is
none of your business.
[14:32] <Paulzilla> He's a journalist, it's what they do best
[14:32] <Paulzilla> Public interest, and all that
[14:32] <TSipper> There's a limit when it comes to interfering in classified
state business.
[14:32] <Karmic_Crimewave> EGO vigilo custodis, Agent Sipper.
[14:32] <Karmic_Crimewave> Duly noted, and understood, Agent.
[14:33] <NathanGrant> Are there any other questions?
[14:33] <Karmic_Crimewave> Are there any measures being taken in the matter of
the abduction of Alesha Periwinkle?
[14:34] <NathanGrant> As I recall Ms. Periwinkle went off on her own, into a
foreign nation.
[14:34] <NathanGrant> She is not our problem.
[14:34] <KAshley> Sir...
[14:34] <NathanGrant> Kevin, be quiet for now.
[14:35] <Karmic_Crimewave> I'm sorry, but a US citizen adbucted on forein soil
does not fall under the auspices of your agency?
[14:36] <NathanGrant> No it does not, we deal with protecting the nation, not
the affairs of one citizen.
[14:36] <Karmic_Crimewave> Very well.
[14:36] <JustLurking> But doesn't the FACAB deal with terrorist organizations?
[14:36] <NathanGrant> Of course.
[14:36] <TSipper> Obviously.
[14:37] <JustLurking> well, then, what of the rumors of Libere el Mundo being
behind these acts?
[14:38] <NathanGrant> Then we will deal with them, the organization as a whole,
we will not attempt to rescue one woman.
[14:38] <Paulzilla> Is there anything you can tell us about what James was doing
prior to going "AWOL"?
[14:38] <NathanGrant> He was an agent for us, that is all.
[14:40] <TSipper> Any more questions, or is that all you can muster?
[14:40] * TheDefect has joined #FACAB
[14:40] * Karmic_Crimewave has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 181 seconds)
[14:40] * Karmic_Crimewave has joined #facab
[14:40] <NathanGrant> Not again.
[14:40] <TheDefect> eric?
[14:40] <TSipper> Oh what the fuck.
[14:41] <Paulzilla> Can you confirm rumours that James was in Uraguy shortly
prior to going missing?
[14:41] <NathanGrant> Eric? why do you want Eric?
[14:41] <TSipper> Get lost. Now!
[14:41] <TheDefect> is eric in here?
[14:41] <NathanGrant> Why?
[14:41] <TheDefect> i need to talk to him
[14:41] <TSipper> No Eric is not in here, now get the hell out before we call
security.
[14:41] <NathanGrant> Why would you need to talk to him?
[14:41] -> *TheDefect* can I be of any help?
[14:42] <NathanGrant> Kevin, find Eric NOW!
[14:42] <KAshley> Yes sir.
[14:42] <TSipper> Oh bloody hell. Don't bring that retard in here.
[14:42] * KAshley has quit IRC (Quit: )
[14:42] <Karmic_Crimewave> My god, Tom and I actually agree on something!
[14:42] <TSipper> I won't make a habit of it.
[14:43] <Karmic_Crimewave> Good, I don't think I could take the constant shocks.
[14:43] <TheDefect> oh crap
[14:43] <TheDefect> i need to leave
[14:43] * TheDefect has quit IRC (Quit: )
[14:43] <TSipper> Good. That suits us fine.
[14:43] <Karmic_Crimewave> Why do you need someone from Infernal Repairs?
[14:43] <Paulzilla> I agree with you too, Tom - I'm actually a bottom feeding
mollusc though
[14:44] <Paulzilla> Can you confirm rumours that James was in Uraguy shortly
prior to going missing?
[14:44] <NathanGrant> No I can not.
[14:45] <TSipper> Agent locations are classified government information, like
we'd ever tell you.
[14:46] <Karmic_Crimewave> I think it would be safe to assume that all matters
of James Vanderhuff's duties and operations are classified, including the
attempted assassination of Abdul Je Herald.
[14:46] <TSipper> Where did you get that stupid allegation?
[14:47] <NathanGrant> How did you?
[14:47] <JohnKing|NYPost> What can you tell us about said attempted
assassination Director Grant?
[14:47] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Assassination? What is this all about Director Grant?
[14:47] <TSipper> Did you get it off some bum in the street, like where most of
your false information originates from?
[14:47] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> What does this bum look like?
[14:48] <TSipper> I did not mean that literally, dumbass.
[14:48] <JohnKing|NYPost> Alex...
[14:48] <JohnKing|NYPost> Yeah
[14:48] <Karmic_Crimewave> The source of my information is commications from
James Vanderhuff.
[14:48] <Paulzilla> A lot like James Vanderhuff, funnily enough
[14:48] <NathanGrant> Press Conference is over.
[14:48] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Wait, Director Grant!
[14:48] <TSipper> Shut up and get out.
[14:48] * NathanGrant has quit IRC (Quit: )
[14:48] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Damn
[14:49] <TSipper> You heard the Director, this conference is over.
[14:49] <JohnKing|NYPost> Well, that was... fun
[14:49] <JustLurking> why is it that you never really answer our questions?
[14:49] <JohnKing|NYPost> They're a government agency. That's what they do.
Avoid questions.
[14:49] <Karmic_Crimewave> Sorry Agent Sipper...Too much at stake to play dumb
for me.
[14:49] <Paulzilla> Yeah - for press conference, read propaganda twaddle
[14:49] <TSipper> Because, Mr. Lurking, you have a habit of sticking your noses
into classified business.
[14:49] <Karmic_Crimewave> You however...Feel free to continue.
[14:50] <Karmic_Crimewave> Incedentally, if you want the reporters to leave, you
can always tell them that there is no free catering. That sends them away in
droves.
[14:51] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> Ha. Ha. Ha.
[14:51] <TSipper> I will just call security. Or better, chase them out myself.
[14:51] <AlexDixon|NYTimes> ... Wait, is there free catering?
[14:51] <TSipper> Conference is over.
[14:51] <TSipper> Get the hell out and have a nice day.
[14:51] * TSipper has quit IRC (Quit: TSipper)

Color Legend:
KAshley, green
NathanGrant, red
TheDefect, darkblue
TSipper, red

Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 6:59 pm

Hydrolix
Boot

Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 63

That wasn't very helpful

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:48 pm

JebJoya
Unfettered

Joined: 13 Apr 2005
Posts: 679
Location: UK

Nor was that post, and nor is this post.

So there Razz

PS, I just had my room broken into a couple of hours ago and my wallet and digital camera snatched (they left my Nokia 3310 though, lol Smile

) and THANKFULLY, my PSP was in the kitchen with me

/me mops brow

Jeb

_________________
Jeb's ARG coming Autumn 2007...
Last FM Smile

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:14 pm

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