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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Perplex City » PXC: General/Updates
[NEW SITE] Oistin Meade's Website for the People of Earth
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Juxta
Unfettered

Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 675

 		[NEW SITE] Oistin Meade's Website for the People of Earth
Linked to directly from Anna's blog via the post below:-

Quote:
Oistin's Research

Monday, 24th April 2006

Looks like Oistin's got his survey up here. I have to admit I haven't had any time to look at it myself, but Oistin's done some terrific graduate work on the effects of multiple variables on cognition and behaviour, so I trust you're in good hands. I would ask you to encourage others to participate in this study, as well, because the more favourably Oistin feels his research has gone, the more likely it is he won't have a fit of excessive ethicality and refuse to give me that Ceretin 6 report when it's out.

You know, there was a time not long ago that I thought scrupulous adherence to a rigid set of ethics was a good thing.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:59 pm
Last edited by Juxta on Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Juxta
Unfettered

Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 675

 		Oistin's survey is....interesting...

Quote:
Section A
A1: Name
A2: Gender (Female/Male/Other)
A3: Age
A4: Height (Rudon System) - (As tall as a tree/As tall as a small tree/Not as tall as a tree/Invisible)
A5: Country (Hee-yuge list of countries)
A6: Are you taking part in the hunt for the Cube? (Yes/No)
A7: If so, please enter your 'screen name':


Quote:
Section B
B1: My favourite animal is the (Cat/Tretretretre/Bear/Squirrel)
B2: Which of Gyvann's followers do you most identify with? (Arca/Manchu/Yevan/Hualpa)
B3: Close your eyes. What do you see? (Nothing/Darkness/Calm/Infinity)
B4: How many plants are there in your home? (0/1-2/3-4/More)
B5: Do you find advertising for personal grooming products: (Glamorous/Sexy/Exciting/Convincing)
B6: How often do you puchase groceries? (Every day/Every other day/Once a month/Once a year)
B7: What do you fear most? (Pets in costumes/Clowns/People dressed up as enormous furry animals/Aurora Belle's new haircut)
B8: How many doses of caffeine do you consume each day? (None/1-4/4-8/8+)


Quote:
Section C
Which of the following televisual broadcasts do you enjoy (select all applicable)? I am told you do this with Ctrl-click on Windows and Apple-click on Macs.
Lost
Star Trek
Who Wants to be a Billionaire?
The OC
Sunset Beach
Quincy
Desperate Housewife
News broadcasts
Quantum Leap
Buff the Vampire Slayer
Big Brother
TJ Hooker
Sports broadcasts
Judge Judy


Quote:
Section D
Please submit your interpretation of the following image. Click to enlarge.






Quote:
Section E
Please assess yourself during the following tasks. Try to be as honest and accurate as possible.

E1: How long does it take you to tie your shoelaces? (Under 5 seconds/5-20 seconds/Velcro/No shoes)
E2: How long are your shoelaces? (Less than 30cm each/30cm-50cm each/50cm-80cm each/80cm-120cm each/Not applicable)
E3: Butter a slice of toast, ensuring full, even coverage. How long does this take you? (Under 5 seconds/5-10 seconds/10-20 seconds/20+ seconds)
E4: Now butter your left hand. How long does this take you? (Under 5 seconds/5-10 seconds/10-20 seconds/20+ seconds)
E5: Recite the English alphabet aloud, from the middle outwards. How long does this take you? (Under 5 seconds/5-7 seconds/7-10 seconds/10-15 seconds)


Quote:
Section F

F1: What question would you like to be asked?
F2: And what answer would you give?
F3: Why?
F4: Where were you on the evening of 15 January 2004? Be precise.
F5: How would you test the psychological makeup of your Earth fellows?
F6: Having read this questionnaire, do you now feel (Better/Worse/Hungry/Older)?


It then proceeds to give you an indepth psychological "analysis". Ahem.

J
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:29 pm
Last edited by Juxta on Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:07 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Sh1ft
Veteran


Joined: 12 Nov 2003
Posts: 110
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Oistin wrote:

Your personal assessment

Avoid salads and tall men. Your forest home is stopping you seeing the wood for the trees. Cut down on the houseplants. Even a squirrel like you can't climb that many branches. Don't close your eyes. Darkness can blind you.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you lack imagination. A trip to a local gallery may help to stimulate your visual senses. Psychotropic drugs may also be of use.


PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:32 pm
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sackofpotatoes
Veteran


Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 86
Ostin wrote:
Avoid salads and tall men. Your forest home is stopping you seeing the wood for the trees. Cut down on the houseplants. You may see yourself as a jungle cat but in the dark you're just a kitten. Don't close your eyes. Darkness can blind you.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you do not look beneath the surface of things. You are essentially a credulous person with an underdeveloped sense of perception. Wise up.


PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:35 pm
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JayJay
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Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 76
Location: Deepest Darkest East Sussexshire

 		On completion of the test this is what Oistin Mead said...

Quote:
Your personal assessment

Have you done one of these tests before? Congratulations - you scored 104% Your forest home is stopping you seeing the wood for the trees. Cut down on the houseplants. You may see yourself as a jungle cat but in the dark you're just a kitten. Don't close your eyes. Darkness can blind you.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you do not look beneath the surface of things. You are essentially a credulous person with an underdeveloped sense of perception. Wise up.


For the first time in my life I have got more than 100 % in a test !
(Pats himself on the back)
_________________
My life its a series of compromises....anyway!
Have a habit of pointing out the obvious!

http://perplexcitytrades.com/JayJay

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:44 pm
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applesticker
Boot


Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 14

 		Apparently he really wants people to avoid salads and tall men:

"Your personal assessment

Avoid salads and tall men. You really need to go out and buy a plant. Your barren home is draining the creativity from your psyche. Don't close your eyes. Darkness can blind you. Your attitude to buttering toast indicates a desire for perfection and success in all things - no matter what the personal cost. Not only will this approach inevitably lead to a crisis should success elude you but it will also condemn you to a lifetime of cold toast.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you are unable to censor your own thoughts. Your stream of consciousness gushes like the rapids of the Mazy River and anybody entering into conversation with you is likely to drown. There are a number of excellent cognitive therapists in Perplex City who may be able to help you overcome your problem. I am not one of them."

Very random questionaire there -- I especially liked how they want to know how long it takes us to butter our hands.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:47 pm
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Juxta
Unfettered

Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 675

 		Worryingly my responses came back with...

Quote:
Have you been taking Ceretin? You really need to go out and buy a plant. Your barren home is draining the creativity from your psyche. Don't close your eyes. Darkness can blind you. Like your hero TJ Hooker you tackle challenges head-on with determination and vigour paying scant attention to the law. This devil-may-care attitude may work for fictional crimefighters but it can be counterproductive in real life.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you have antisocial tendencies if not a criminal record. If the authorities are not currently informed of your whereabouts call your local station immediately and give them your address.


Mind you. My answer on the first inkblot was "Two crabs playing table tennis" and the second was "An angry Mr. Potato Head"...

J
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:49 pm
Last edited by Juxta on Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Orikaeshigitae
Boot


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 23
Location: In a place with no boundaries anyone can find

 		The large versions of the inkblots are broken images.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:50 pm
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Mikeyj
Unfictologist


Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 1847
Location: London

 		Yes...well...frankly it strikes me as poorly grounded in any real analysis and is simply a penny-arcade "dial-an-insult" put together by a rude and ignorant individual:

Quote:

Check yourself into a mental institution at the earliest available opportunity. You really need to go out and buy a plant. Your barren home is draining the creativity from your psyche. Get yourself a decent pair of shoes. Smart footwear is a key component in developing self-esteem. Your attitude to buttering toast indicates a desire for perfection and success in all things - no matter what the personal cost. Not only will this approach inevitably lead to a crisis should success elude you but it will also condemn you to a lifetime of cold toast.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you are unable to censor your own thoughts. Your stream of consciousness gushes like the rapids of the Mazy River and anybody entering into conversation with you is likely to drown. There are a number of excellent cognitive therapists in Perplex City who may be able to help you overcome your problem. I am not one of them.


/me sticks nose in the air
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Irrelevant musings.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:54 pm
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Orikaeshigitae
Boot


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 23
Location: In a place with no boundaries anyone can find
Quote:
You clearly lead a rich and fulfilling life. I'm honoured that you have the time to spare for me. Your forest home is stopping you seeing the wood for the trees. Cut down on the houseplants. Even a tretretretre can only nest in one tree at a time.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you are unable to censor your own thoughts. Your stream of consciousness gushes like the rapids of the Mazy River and anybody entering into conversation with you is likely to drown. There are a number of excellent cognitive therapists in Perplex City who may be able to help you overcome your problem. I am not one of them.


PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:56 pm
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Mokey Fraggle
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Joined: 16 Sep 2005
Posts: 393
Location: FL, USA
Quote:
Your personal assessment
Be wary of offering your opinions to people. They make provoke an aggressive reaction. Don't close your eyes. Staring into infinity can only lead to a sense of inadequacy and ultimately insanity.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you are unable to censor your own thoughts. Your stream of consciousness gushes like the rapids of the Mazy River and anybody entering into conversation with you is likely to drown. There are a number of excellent cognitive therapists in Perplex City who may be able to help you overcome your problem. I am not one of them.


PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:02 pm
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Atrophied
Entrenched


Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 1133
Location: 53742E 4A6F686E27732C 4E4C00
Quote:
Your personal assessment

Check yourself into a mental institution at the earliest available opportunity.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you lack imagination. A trip to a local gallery may help to stimulate your visual senses. Psychotropic drugs may also be of use.


Thanks Oistin, I think you're a nice guy too...

~Atrophied
_________________
"It will be happened; it shall be going to happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future." -- Time travel, as explained by Arnold J. Rimmer

"The Future's bright, the Future's Cuboid" - Juxta

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:04 pm
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Enigmaster
Decorated


Joined: 16 Nov 2004
Posts: 274
Location: Jersey, CI
Your personal assessment wrote:
Check yourself into a mental institution at the earliest available opportunity. Don't close your eyes. Staring into infinity can only lead to a sense of inadequacy and ultimately insanity. Get yourself a decent pair of shoes. Smart footwear is a key component in developing self-esteem. Your attitude to buttering toast indicates a desire for perfection and success in all things - no matter what the personal cost. Not only will this approach inevitably lead to a crisis should success elude you but it will also condemn you to a lifetime of cold toast.

Your responses to the inkblot test suggest that you are unable to censor your own thoughts. Your stream of consciousness gushes like the rapids of the Mazy River and anybody entering into conversation with you is likely to drown. There are a number of excellent cognitive therapists in Perplex City who may be able to help you overcome your problem. I am not one of them.


Yey, I'm insane and verging on the Obsessive-Compulsive too Smile

That was enjoyable, looking forward to doing the others this week.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:09 pm
Last edited by Enigmaster on Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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European Chris
Unfictologist


Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Posts: 1264
Location: London's trendy Whitechapel
Quote:
Psychotropic drugs may also be of use.


* Chris gives Atrophied some cheap acid
_________________
http://www.hayfestival.com/archive/2006/05/blasphemy-debate.aspx
The internet, giving the entire world a license to opine, since 1989.
http://littleatoms.com/

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:10 pm
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cassandra
Entrenched


Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 831

 		I'm antisocial and criminal, like Juxta. Just in case you lot were wondering.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:13 pm
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