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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Perplex City » PXC: General/Updates
[UPDATE] Sentinel - 3 Nov 06 - Earlywine Planning Committee
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TheDarkMoomin
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 49
Location: Sheffield

Sophiecat wrote:
TheDarkMoomin wrote:
Also, I think that the scathing tone is quite good. However I feel it reinforces the stereotype of us in a negative way. It uses cheap insults where if they want to view us a confrontational so be it, but lets not stregnthen their beliefs that we on Earth are common, basic and crass. More subtle wording of your insults could make her look more stupid.


I agree with the idea but think that Moomin has some good points and much prefer that version.

Moomin - just one constructive comment, the last two sentences of the second paragraph don't quite read correctly to me, they appear to be aimed at the editor rather than Ms Brewster in the new version. Unfortunately being a mathematician and not a writer I can't improve on them!

S


Hi Sophie, I'm a bit of a jack of all trades - so can't really write or do maths!!

Don't really see what you mean though... the last 2 lines are aimed at Brewster... any hints or rewrites? if it doesn't read right then definatelt needs changing, but I must be being dim, cos I can't see what you mean!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:04 pm
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Sophiecat
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TheDarkMoomin wrote:
Having a teenager completely outstrip your abilities must be hard. It's okay, we understand, and we sympathize with your plight.


Just thought that as you were suggesting writing a letter to the editor that the two "your" words therefore referred to the recipient of the letter ie the editor rather than Ms Brewster which is what we wanted.

Again, I'm no expert and can't think of a better way of putting it without getting too posh and using "ones abilities", which probably doesn't work either. AAAAH, Help!!!

Perhaps someone else could either tell us whether your original version is fine or suggest an improved wording.

S
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:14 pm
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TheDarkMoomin
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Ah! must remember to read ALL the words when something doesn't seem to make sense! I was looking at the last 2 lines!!

I see what you mean... hmmm, not sure how to re-word either, I'll think on it.

Aside from that, what is everyone elses thinking on this? Particularly you Enygma - don't want to hijack your idea!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:28 pm
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dekuprince
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 73
Location: Queanbeyan, Australia,

im in on the false anser part but i dont got billion to one so yeah um ill help anyway i can

and as for a rephrase try puting it like thus

Having a teenager completely outstrip her abilities must be hard. It's okay, we understand, and we sympathize with her plight.

also i cant help but notice the change in the furtures
Quote:
The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)
I’ll not leave thee, thou lone one! To pine on the stem; since the lovely are sleeping, go, sleep thou with them. Thus kindly I scatter thy leaves o’er the bed, where thy mates of the garden lie scentless and dead.


’ is ther any sugnifgance in that
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:46 pm
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number9dream
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Quote:
Of course, when I see articles about the PCAG, the names I see are Ryan Cahill, Serena Duncan, Myra Champaign. Those who can, do, and those that cannot, comment, eh? It has been amazing in watching Ms. Champaign's meteoric rise. Having a teenager completely outstrip your abilities must be hard. It's okay, we understand, and we sympathize with your plight.


How about:


Of course, when I see articles about the PCAG, the names I see are Ryan Cahill, Serena Duncan, Myra Champaign, yet strangely no mention of Katie Brewster. Those who can, do, and those that cannot, comment, it seems. From an Earth perspective it has been amazing to watch Ms. Champaign's meteoric rise and I imagine, for Ms Brewster, having a teenager completely outstrip her abilities must be so hard. Please pass on our sympathies and understanding for how difficult this must be for her.

Just a thought.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 8:46 am
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Mikeyj
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Catty...very catty. Wink
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Irrelevant musings.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:44 am
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Merus
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Joined: 22 May 2006
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I find it worthy of comment that, for all of Perplex City's supposed superiority over Earth, every country on Earth has something that Perplex City does not. An ally.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 1:05 pm
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TheDarkMoomin
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number9dream wrote:
Quote:
Of course, when I see articles about the PCAG, the names I see are Ryan Cahill, Serena Duncan, Myra Champaign. Those who can, do, and those that cannot, comment, eh? It has been amazing in watching Ms. Champaign's meteoric rise. Having a teenager completely outstrip your abilities must be hard. It's okay, we understand, and we sympathize with your plight.


How about:


Of course, when I see articles about the PCAG, the names I see are Ryan Cahill, Serena Duncan, Myra Champaign, yet strangely no mention of Katie Brewster. Those who can, do, and those that cannot, comment, it seems. From an Earth perspective it has been amazing to watch Ms. Champaign's meteoric rise and I imagine, for Ms Brewster, having a teenager completely outstrip her abilities must be so hard. Please pass on our sympathies and understanding for how difficult this must be for her.

Just a thought.


I like it, I like it alot!

What do you think enygma? I guess we need to respond pretty sharply, but don't want to steal any credit.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:27 pm
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e_nygma
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Hey, sorry I've been quiet the last few days. This past week has been crazed.

TheDarkMoomin: Your point about not directing it to Kate Brewster. However, I felt that "Editor" was a bit stilted, so I changed it to open with "The Sentinel's esteemed writer." I think I caught the other places where it would reference "you," but if I missed them, call out. However, I do like your tightening of the latter two paragraphs.

number9dream: Nice. As MikeyJ said, it has the nice combination of cattiness with a velvet-lined backhand.

Here's what the letter looks like, now:

Quote:
The Sentinel's esteemed writer, Ms. Brewster, has apparently decided that open derision of those who would help Perplex City regain its priceless artifact is a wise strategy. One might think this idea to be the fruit of idiocy, but as it came from Ms. Brewster, I can only conclude that it must be sage thinking. Not content to just insult those of us from Earth as a group, she explicitly calls out specific cube hunters for their mistakes. Her brilliance at angering those whose aid the City depends on is astounding, genius even!

Of course, when I see articles about the PCAG, the names I see are Ryan Cahill, Serena Duncan, Myra Champaign, yet strangely no mention of Katie Brewster. Those who can, do, and those that cannot, comment, it seems. From an Earth perspective, it has been amazing to watch Ms. Champaign's meteoric rise and I imagine, for Ms Brewster, having a teenager completely outstrip her abilities must be so hard. Please pass on our sympathies and understanding for how difficult this must be for her.

I'm sure the Perplex City cards feel like childish puzzles ... in a society able to supplement its base intellect with increasingly developed Cognivia products. Here on Earth however, we must all get by on what we were born with. I'm glad to see that Perplex City has institutions that help their lesser individuals, maybe we can all hope to learn and develop through your outstanding examples of society.

Still, here's your chance to prove me wrong, Katie. A simple little code, which an advanced citizen of Perplex City should be able to break in no time. I did try to make it tricky though, so feel free to ask for a hint if you need it.

TSK5: 114747 48115 51274 715198 1014078 822700 916237 75200


PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 8:42 am
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e_nygma
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Because I'm so good at replying to myself, I'll ... reply to myself.

First off, do you guys think the code system is useful? I'm gambling that while Earlywine's goons are watching the datastream now, they have not gone back over all of the data that has gone downstream with a finetooth comb (specifically, the blogs)

Second, is this the message we want to send? Right now, it reads
Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Messages in card solutions make contact through Iona
(in case someone wants to do it themselves). I was thinking we should change it to read

Quote:
TSK5: 114747 48115 51274 715198 1014078 822700 916237 75200 52445


or

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Messages in card solutions make contact through Iona article


so as to make it clear what we expect in return.

Does anyone have a better message? I'll encode it, because I have homework to do and this would be a much better use of my time. Wink

PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 9:10 am
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Sophiecat
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e_nygma wrote:
Hey, sorry I've been quiet the last few days. This past week has been crazed.


Tell me about it, not been around for the last few days for the same reason.

e_nygma wrote:
TheDarkMoomin: Your point about not directing it to Kate Brewster. However, I felt that "Editor" was a bit stilted, so I changed it to open with "The Sentinel's esteemed writer." I think I caught the other places where it would reference "you," but if I missed them, call out. However, I do like your tightening of the latter two paragraphs.

number9dream: Nice. As MikeyJ said, it has the nice combination of cattiness with a velvet-lined backhand.


Think the new version is excellent and I would support it.

Like the code idea and can't think of anything better to put. Being a bit thick, what does the
Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Iona
bit mean?

Well done e-nygma, moomin et al.

S
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:07 am
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silvermoon
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Joined: 03 Jul 2006
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Location: Australia

Sophiecat wrote:
Being a bit thick, what does the
Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Iona
bit mean?


Iona is a reporter for The Sentinel, and a friend of Scarlett's.
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The above text is a natural product. Any variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and natural beauty and in no way should be considered flaws or defects.


PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 8:43 am
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Sophiecat
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silvermoon wrote:
Iona is a reporter for The Sentinel, and a friend of Scarlett's.


Dunce
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:57 pm
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TheDarkMoomin
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I like it. Think it reads really well now.

However, is addressing the code to Katie Brewster a godd idea, when we want the Scooby Gang to get it and use it? Is She likely to rat us out? Maybe just adding the string of letters at the end, with no reference to a code and hope the gang figure out its a code.

Or some other message to Brewster, which could have a double meaning directing the gang to a code using the same system in another letter.

Not sure if thats getting a bit complax and hit and miss tho.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 4:20 am
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ampetrizzo
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Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 54

I wonder about putting such a code in a letter to the Sentinel. Do we really believe that no one but the CRT will be able to crack it? We may only succeed in getting access to our answers restricted.

My suggestion (and I still don't think we have any information worth communicating unless it's the five fingers bit, which they probably wouldn't be able to help with anyway) is that at the end of the letter we put something like "As they say on Earth, the answers are in the cards" or something equally snotty.

Then everyone takes a card they have a duplicate of, creates a new player and enters whatever message we want to send as their answer until they get locked out. I think if there are twenty players entering the same weird message for twenty different puzzles three times on the same day, the CRT will get the message.

The plus side to this plan is that Iona doesn't get in any trouble.

Just a thought.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:21 am
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