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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » Low-Volume Games
[WI][UPDATE] 2/23/07 Restart
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Wabonan
Entrenched


Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 1185

 		no need for the link the user name and password was salamander/salamander but it doesn't work now... also pembry just posted
Quote:

Administrator

member is offline




I'm going to run you over with my fucking lawnmower.




Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 31
AAAAAHHHH I'M DYING
« Thread Started on Today at 10:12pm »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OF BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buy the Playstation 3!!!

LOST ON BLU-RAY

NO PROB, SLOB

JUST SLAP THAT IN YO' PS3

THEN AFTERWARDS WE CAN WATCH THE RING

THREEEEEEEEEEEE


YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

THEN WE CAN PLAY OUR NIGHTS AWAY

LIVING EVERY DAY LIKE WE GETTIN' PAID

Sony thanks you for participtating in this viral marketing.
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Jack Q. Pembry
Administrator

member is offline




I'm going to run you over with my fucking lawnmower.




Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 31
Re: AAAAAHHHH I'M DYING
« Reply #1 on Today at 10:17pm »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UH-OH LOOKS LIKE THIS GUY BOUGHT HISSELF A WII

WII? MORE LIKE WIIK!
« Last Edit: Today at 10:17pm by Jack Q. Pembry »



there is a pic of a guy run over with a train........ those goons need some pay back!!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:26 pm
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dazeytweeter
Veteran


Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 92
Quote:
First off, can anyone explain what was in the hackjobjohnny memorial thread,


There were two threads and neither had any replies.

The only thread I looked at was one that said they would finish and upload the final three videos (7-9)

Kind of a moot point, ne?

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:26 pm
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Wabonan
Entrenched


Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 1185

 		here is a link to their boards and their thread about all this... they are just messing with us still
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?postid=323778271#post323778271

though you can't post unless you register ... to register you have to pay $10. Im not paying them to mess with us.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:39 pm
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grandmasterstab
Boot

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 56

 		anyone got a link to vid's 4 & 5?

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:49 pm
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winfall
Boot


Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 41
Location: Michigan

 		Threads keep popping up and disappearing.

Sometimes, SA brings the awesome in the best way. But inevitably, the awesome gets overblown with the stupid.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:03 am
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Will the Great
Greenhorn

Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 7

 		Heh. The new topic is gone now.

Looks like that's a wrap, folks.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:03 am
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Wabonan
Entrenched


Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 1185

 		lol Ilovetofix wants someone to get a book in ulen again.... anytakers...lol

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:13 am
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Will the Great
Greenhorn

Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 7

 		I posted "This had better not be for boners," but t'was deleted. xD

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:18 am
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Nii
Greenhorn

Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 9

 		Does anyone remember a history thread that hackjob posted? It aparently said many things but was deleted. Does this ring a bell?

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:19 am
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winfall
Boot


Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 41
Location: Michigan

 		So now the question is, do we keep following the story (for the boners, of course) or just let dead dogs lie?

(because, really, I feel sort of silly to keep following this 'game'.)

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:43 am
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dazeytweeter
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Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 92
Nii wrote:
Does anyone remember a history thread that hackjob posted? It aparently said many things but was deleted. Does this ring a bell?


Is this it?


Quote:
When existence began, the Nothing and the Everything were born. Duality and its massive importance was born along with them.

The Everything begat many differents planes of existence. Each plane of existence is connected to another. Every plane is a book in another plane's library. This is how they are connected. This is what they share. Only nine figures (two being the Nothing and the Everything) held control over all planes of existence.

For each plane, different deities and spiritual beings were born to govern reality. On this plane, the nine sister muses were born of Mnemosyne and Zeus. The nine brothers were born of an affair between Echidna and Zeus. All muses were meant to help guide mankind along the paths of destiny. It was eventually revealed to them that the book that governs their work would end. They were told there were twenty paths this plane of existence could take. A small schism developed immediately. The brothers, who once respected their sisters, grew suspicious of them. The same was true for the sisters. No one talked about it much, but things were very intense between all of them. Things had changed.

It should be noted at this time that there are two different, important books. There is the book mentioned in the last paragraph, which governs all of existence until the year 2012. There is also Paranoia's book: The Book of Unknowable Knowledge. The more unstable someone is, the easier the book is to read. It tells of Paranoia's plans and all of the people that shall become brought together in these plans.

I do not know much about how the other muses lived their life during this time. I know Ulistikos slowly became stronger, until he could almost overpower Drimus Foneis, the eldest. Paranoia developed an interest in numbers. He was the third youngest. He liked the number three. He took it for himself.

Paranoia began to plan for the Fork in the Road early on. For years he observed humans until he found one person in particular who seemed to be very charismatic and manipulative. The fellow had a weak spot though. His spite for Christianity and ordinary religion made him easy to manipulate. Paranoia impersonated a demon and told Crowley of the Everything and the Nothing. He told Crowley of the Fork in the Road.

Calliope wanted to take a path that would bring mankind to its apex, and then she believed Maraino would take it down a bit, and then she would raise it again, etc. She does not realize that Maraino has no plans of a cycle. He knows that eventually, mankind will die, and the muses, having no purpose in such a scenario, will die along with it. He wants to die the most powerful muse. He wants to win.

Paranoia told Crowley some truths, and he told him some lies. In the end, he had done just enough to secure a fighting chance in the future. Crowley's strange brand of religion became popular amongst some. People did not realize what they were truly worshipping. They had unwittingly joined Father Paranoia. When they would die, their spirits would become his children. People even performed abusive rituals under the Father's command. He wanted to create a whole generation of people who would be vulnerable to him. They would be people who would practically breed fear and insanity. One of them was a boy named Donald Wilson.

Maraino had already begun to create his own children years before. Shadow beings. They were much more sly than Paranoia's children. They observed those Maraino developed an interest in.

Paranoia found a down-on-his-luck writer. A man with great potential, though his early stories were the most mediocre Poe rip-offs imaginable. Lovecraft. Paranoia inspired Lovecraft. He told him all he could of some of the different planes. Lovecraft thought something was wrong with him. He could hear things. Paranoia's constant contact with the man caused him to develop an intense xenophobia. He never achieved massive success in his life, but that didn't matter. Paranoia had made a wise investment. He could inspire so many now.

James Patrick Page would later come upon some of the notes Crowley had never revealed to the public. Such a lucky coincidence that bore a decent song with words that, much like its lyrics imply, had two meanings.

Paranoia began working on a generation of humans who would be even more vulnerable and useful to him. Humans who were programmed to respond to certain cues. It was not something that could be passed genetically, so constant work was needed.

In 1969, Calliope exacted her revenge for all Paranoia's "interfering with mankind" and Paranoia was locked within his own world: fear. Oh, but where does fear exist? In every living thing that can feel it. Paranoia lives in every human currently living. Haven't you ever noticed the leap in mental illnesses that started around 1969? Oh sure, some of it can be attributed to the increased acceptance of therapy and definitions of illnesses once thought to be merely quirks, but you can't think that that explains it all, can you? Paranoia has been trapped inside of us for so long, only capable of communicating with a select few. He had an idea, long ago, that this may happen.

Wilson's illegitimate twins were blessed by Maraino and Calliope. We had so much trouble tracking Jamie down, and we still have hardly a clue as to where his brother is. I imagine they hoped they could fight us somehow. So stupid. Jamie's gone, and the other will soon perish as well.

The newer generation of altered children were altered to respond to certain cues for a reason: Paranoia had a plan in case he was imprisoned. He would create things that trigger desired responses in the people who had been programmed. Remember all those suicides you were told about? A test run. Now we have it developed to video, and it can affect people in more subtle, yet useful ways.

iliketofix was charged with getting the videos produced, of course. He chose a boy he felt could handle the job properly. He told him to make the video. He told him to use things that had scared him as a child, to make things black and white for the first five videos, to make everything familiar in a hauntingly nostalgic sort of way. He thought this was an art project. He was wrong. The cues were simple: The text and the emotions on the faces, all spaced apart at appropriate lengths, and displayed in the proper formats. These cues would prepare some of its viewers to channel an aspect of Paranoia to the Earth.

There are three more videos that will permanently release enough of Paranoia from the minds of the public. He will return to this planet for good.

The videos were distributed to three people of ilovetofix's choosing. They were people he believed would be properly affected by it and passed along to mankind.

Iliketofix made a mistake though. Long ago, he had lost the book of Paranoia's. It was tracked down by Maraino, who eventually gave it to Wilson. Iliketofix blamed it on one of his children. The child was punished, and a bad reputation formed around the others he was in control of, but Like himself had escaped unpunished. Over time, Wilson began to understand parts of the book, though none of it made sense at first. He soon discovered the names of those who bought the video and contacted them. One was dead. The other two had been mentally destroyed by the videos. He convinced them to give them to him. He traded the second one, exchanging it for the book. Pembry would use the book to figure out what needed to be done to "fix" himself. He tried to sell it to a bookstore he believed isolated when he was done with it. I believe Maraino used a messenger to regain the book. Afterwards, the store was shut down, and the most previous owners of the book are now kept under surveillance by Maraino, in case followers of Paranoia come looking for them.

Wilson attempted to hijack a television in Wyoming but failed. He then posted it online, claiming the Wyoming Incident had actually happened. He was trying to reveal us, I suppose, or mess up our plans. He only strengthed them by acting as a surrogate vessel for Miller, who was poorly chosen. He was not aware that Maraino was keeping his spirit alive, and that he had been physically dead for some time. Maraino could not fully control Wilson at this point. In fact, I believe he had little idea of what Wilson had been up to with the videos. When he found out, it was too late.

After uploading the original video, Wilson sent the second one to Jamie, who he knew could not be easily observed by Paranoia's followers. This did cause quite a bit of trouble for us, but Jamie uploaded it to Youtube and things were okay for a while. Daniel, the owner of the third video, had a brother who eventually uploaded his copy for him.

Then you all came into the equation as planned. You wanted answers about the video. I gave them to you.

Jamie became a hassle when Maraino and Calliope created an antidote video and sent it to him. For a while, many of us thought some of you would have to retrieve the video. This made us very nervous. However, we managed to track Jamie down ourselves. You see, Jamie's blessing and the presence of Calliope, Maraino, and Paranoia's followers caused a rift that made it easy to track him down. I don't think they fully realized what was going on until it was too late. We found Jamie. He showed us the video. We destroyed the video. Jamie's gone now.

Plans continued.

Granted, there was one big bump in the road: my predecessor's incompetence. He lost the book, he assumed it would still be at the same bookstore after two years, and he ended up making us all look foolish. Oh well. A minor setback to me.

You see, tonight you didn't summon an "aspect" of Paranoia. You summoned him. You brought him to our world again. Many people around the country, many of whom had never even met one another, were brought together "to save the world". Don't make me laugh. You were brought together because you were all perfect. You didn't fully understand Paranoia, you all have fears and weaknesses you have yet to deal with, some of you even believed just an teensy bit, and over time some of you even grew paranoid.

Things are going to get very weird soon. Many of the muses will begin to clash. The effect this will have on mankind will be huge. There are already strange tragedies happening even now.

Look over everything I have written. Every single thing mentioned here has been referenced at some point prior to this post. I did not just string it all together on a whim, and it would take an amazing number of "coincidences" for me to have just gotten lucky with the story. This is not a game. I am not selling you anything. I do not wish to do some sort of study on you. I do not care about "fooling" you. I care about Father Paranoia. I care about the path that mankind takes. You have been told this since the beginning. Didn't you ever dream of the truth?


PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:45 am
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Nabi
Boot

Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 33

 		Love's sending paramemetic on the same trip like sent djsampson on, it would seem. Complete with delicious copypasta.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:49 am
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Xzore
Guest


 		lol ahh, WTH is going on, i am soo confused. I check the happy cube and that weird suppoesed inspector or whatever's thread is gone, and ilovetofix is posting like again like none of it ever happened. How did you get the idea this might be viral marketing now? Anyway, i still want to continue following this, hopefully the whole thing with "t'was all for boners" and the investigation of the site thing were all a bunch of hoax's. I'm still confused though, guess we wait until parametic comes back.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:56 am
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Nii
Greenhorn

Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 9

 		[quote="Xzore"]How did you get the idea this might be viral marketing now? /quote]

Jack Pembry posted a thread which is now deleted, about buying a PS3 and how Wii's sucked compared to it.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:00 am
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Wabonan
Entrenched


Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 1185

 		lol well I guess I'm out I just got banned...lol

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:03 am
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