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Forum index » Archive » Archive: Chasing the Wish » CTW: Interaction

Email Phyllis: Douglas' Secret

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Sunny du Pree
Unfettered

Joined: 01 Jan 2003
Posts: 636
Location: Push, Nevada

Email Phyllis: Douglas' Secret

Dear Sunny,
You asked, in one of your last emails before disaster struck, if there had been love in my marriage at the beginning. The short answer is yes, of course, and for many years, or at least I thought so.

Now that he is gone � and I know he is truly gone because I have seen the shell where his spirit once dwelled � I can tell the secrets he made me keep for all these years. Douglas should have been proud of himself really. I know I was incredibly impressed when Father first told me about his background. But, it shamed him; he always wanted people to believe that he was a Philadelphia lawyer, Ivy League through and through. The truth was he was born Jethro Douglas Willingham in the abject poverty of a West Virginia coal-mining town. His father was a miner and his mother ran off with a trucker when he was just a boy. We had that abandonment by our mothers in common. Years later, he learned that she had died in squalor from alcohol abuse.

His father was killed in a mine cave-in when he was only fourteen and, having no other family, he finished school while living with neighbors. From a very early age, he was determined to escape from his roots and dedicated himself to excelling in school. He always maintained a 4.0 grade average, near-perfect attendance and graduated as Valedictorian of his high school. He was rewarded with a full scholarship to Yale Law School and graduated at the top of his class.

At Yale, he also studied the manners, dress and affectations of his more privileged classmates and emulated their standards until he was
indistinguishable from them. He still had a great deal to learn when we first met but he was not a rube or a yokel in any way. He was a self-made man -- his own chosen self. I believe he was quite admirable in what he accomplished for himself. At some point in his early career, he determined that attaining great wealth was his next goal in life. He idolized Father in this regard and studied his ruthlessness and business acumen with the same discipline he had once applied to absorbing the ways of the upper class.

I believe he met Don Marzano at the law firm where he was employed before we moved to Aglaura. In many ways, our moving to this little town perplexed me. He said only that it was a golden opportunity and I accepted that explanation while wondering how this backwater town would provide the riches he sought. I rather believed that he had given up on this goal and was simply too stubborn to admit his defeat. How he ever became involved with a "dark lord" is a complete mystery to me. I can recall no passage in which he appeared to alter until this year when he withdrew into the intense self-involvement and preoccupation that I have reported to all of you. It shows me that I never knew the depths of him, never saw the torment that drove him to be involved with mobsters and occult societies.

There were happy times, loving times, between us; they all flooded into my mind on the night I learned he was dead. I believed he had a good explanation for not telling me about the Marzano's; I hoped he would have an even better explanation for everything else. I might just possibly have forgiven him for the sake of the 24 years we were married. Now, I may never know and that frustration is causing me physical pain. My heart hurts, it literally hurts as though it is swollen and pressing against my rib cage. This is as much grief as I felt when Father died. But, on top of it, is anger, no, white-hot rage! How could he have done this to me? How could he have shut off deep, dark areas of his life and left me out in the cold? Oh, and guilt; of course, I have guilt. I was planning on leaving him; I stopped loving him. Is it my fault somehow? Like Dale, did I inadvertently wish harm on my spouse?

Immediately upon hearing the news, Iris and I thought murder. We knew he was meeting Dale; there was some vague hope in me that he was "switching sides." It seemed obvious that he had been silenced intentionally. But, he may have had a heart attack. We won't know until the Coroner's Report is released. It really is too, too much. I wake up in the morning and just marvel at how I am surviving through each day's violations and outrages. It's training, my dears, applied discipline and old-fashioned social training will get you through anything! I am proof of that.

In sadness,
Phyllis

_________________
Grace and Peace
Sunny Du Pree
I dreamed a dream and now that dream has come for me

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:03 pm

MageSteff
Pretty talky there aintcha, Talky?

Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 2716
Location: State of Denial

Re: Email Phyllis: Douglas' Secret

Sunny du Pree wrote:

Douglas should have been proud of himself really. I know I was incredibly impressed when Father first told me about his background. But, it shamed him; ...

... He always maintained a 4.0 grade average, near-perfect attendance and graduated as Valedictorian of his high school. He was rewarded with a full scholarship to Yale Law School and graduated at the top of his class.
....
In sadness,
Phyllis

Phyllis is right he should have been proud of his accomplishments. Anyone who can excel to the level he did, high grades and a FULL scholarship at YALE...

_________________
Magesteff
A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2003 7:39 pm

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