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 Forum index » Meta » Various & Sundry
[HUMOR] How to Run an ARG in 7 Simple Steps
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Rekidk
Entrenched


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 992
Location: Indiana, USA

 		[HUMOR] How to Run an ARG in 7 Simple Steps
How to Run an ARG in 7 Simple Steps

1. First, you need to decide that you wish to run an ARG.

…Have you decided yet? Good. It took you long enough.

2. Now, email a random member of Unforums a pointless—yet mysterious—letter. It should introduce absolutely nothing about the plot, which you shouldn't really think about anyway. Players tend to prefer plots that 'fly by the seat of their pants' and go nowhere. Of course, that email must link to the third step…

3. The character blog. This should have two short, intimate posts that the character wrote approximately ten minutes ago. Hosting on Blogspot is a must. Generic templates are preferred, with bonus points given for anything that is difficult to read. Of course, as soon as you see that your blog has been discovered, you must move to the third step…

4. The puzzle. This should be a difficult puzzle, one created by using complex algorithms such as 'rot13' or, if you're feeling bold, 'binary.' This puzzle, when decoded by the players, should have at least two mistakes, just to throw the players off. When de-mistakified by the players, this puzzle should lead to…

5. The evil corporation's website. Every good ARG simply must have an evil corporation, and every good evil corporation simply must have a website. Of course, said corporation tends to be frugal, and as such uses a free server—though you should refer to it as a 'reduced-cost server.' Don't worry about having actual content for this page—just make sure that it appears sufficiently evil. After the players discover this site, you move into the next step…

6. The chat. This should be done on AIM, although ICQ is an acceptable substitute. You should contact the players on your chat account by finding their chat names on the Unforums; this is clearly the best in-game way to obtain personal information. After you have done that, send them a detailed message relating to your game, such as "Hi Are you there?" When they respond, be angry at them for something, and threaten them. Of course, the poorer your spelling is, the more threatening you will appear, so be sure to burn all dictionaries in the vicinity before starting the chat. Also, players love reading chat logs, so be sure to drag your chat out for as long as possible. Log off with a cryptic message in base64 that you created while you were chatting. After the chat, you should quickly move towards the final step…

7. The implosion. This is the most important part of all ARGs, and the key to a successful implosion lies in performing it just as players begin to enjoy your game. This maximizes the potency of your implosion. Generally, the best time for implosions is about 41 hours after the launch of the game, though the exact time may vary by game. The most commonly accepted Method of Implosion (or 'MOI,' for short) is to post anonymously on the Unforums, stating clearly that you, sadly, must abandon the game in pursuit of other, more important causes, such as ending global warming or running for president. A template for such a post is provided below:

"hey sry but i cnt do the arg [insert name of ARG here] nemore bc i hav 2 [insert excuse here] u kno??? well bye"


And if you but follow these easy steps, you too can be the greatest puppetmaster on the block!

---

Note: This is intended to be humorous. I don't mean to offend anyone by doing this. There are clearly a large number of ARGs that use free resources, blogs, emails, chats, etc. to their advantage, and they succeed with flying colors. The difference is that those games have had much thought and effort put into them--and they don't implode. This was intended to satirize the idea that making an ARG is easy--because it isn't. If you think this is stupid, old, obvious, or just a general waste of time, feel free to flame me and such.
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:20 pm
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djsampson
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Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 393
Location: INDY

 		This is the funiest thing I have seen all day. Good stuff Rekidk, keep it up and you also can one day "Implode yourself one of them ARGs one day to boy." Foily!
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:17 am
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Puppy_Zwolle
Entrenched


Joined: 18 Oct 2005
Posts: 969
Location: Not Zwolle anymore. really no kiddin'

 		Re: [HUMOR] How to Run an ARG in 7 Simple Steps
Rekidk wrote:
If you think this is stupid, old, obvious, or just a general waste of time, feel free to flame me and such.
What's the fun in that when you actually get invited to do so? Twisted Evil

I smilled all the way through.
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"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Einstein

PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:15 am
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Jas0n
Decorated


Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 244

 		Dude like this dude sent me a strange message in AIM that pointed me to his myspace and I saw a link to a strange website at creepydude.com and like dude it totally like freaked me out and I don't like know what it sayin cuze dude it's all in like these ones and zeros and I like dude I'm freaked out like ya know?

Idea DING


OK so I'm wanting to be greater than great, can I just skip to the implosion?
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:37 pm
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Ruuku
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Joined: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 373

 		You just described Still Free! Psychic Readings in 7 easy steps.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 5:56 pm
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baron
Boot


Joined: 27 Aug 2006
Posts: 11
Location: USA
Ruuku wrote:
You just described Still Free! Psychic Readings in 7 easy steps.

Or that awful Don't Open The Box, Josh thing from a while ago, haha.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:30 pm
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