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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Cloverfield (1-18-08) » Cloverfield: General / Updates
[UPDATE] deliciousmacdoob - Vernon MacDooble
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iconsumer
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 		[UPDATE] deliciousmacdoob - Vernon MacDooble
more reviews from the original Tagruato-related reviewer
Forum member Dr. Awkward found the following review (posted Sept 24th) after googling "kaitei no mitsu", as found in the Japanese text on the back of the new picture.

http://www.menuism.com/users/deliciousmacdoob/reviews

Then forum member MrToasty found the Tagruato website (Tagruato is mentioned in the above review), I'm assuming by simply typing in Tagruato.jp (because Tagruato brings up nothing in google for me).

- - -

Continuing on...

His user info via the above review is as follows :
http://www.menuism.com/users/deliciousmacdoob wrote:

Joined: Aug 27, 2007
I Eat Around:

* Upper Kalskag, AK
* Old Crow, YT

I review restaurants tagged:

Vernon MacDooble


If you google Vernon MacDooble, another review comes up (posted Sept. 17th), a review of some place in the carribean :
http://www.chow.com/profile/127392/activity

http://www.chow.com/profile/127392/activity wrote:

Chowhound Post
Breakfast & Lunch choices in Bonaire

A tree of deliciousness grows in RCB forest

Another meal review by Vernon MacDooble

I have but one vice. And that is a severe addiction to a good cup of joe. So when I heard that a new bistro specializing in gourmet brews was opening its doors mere minutes from my stately manor, I cancelled my meeting with the High Chancellor and set off straight away.

The Rounded Corner Bistro may prove to be my absolute favorite local hop. An indoor/outdoor café fashioned around towering magnolia trees, RCB (as I've lovingly dubbed it) gives the impression of a deep forest oasis. I felt like a newborn deer, cautiously approaching my new surroundings on wobbly legs. I sniffed the air with my white speckled snout, breathing in the rich aroma of soaking beans and sweet baked treats. My four cleft hooves clambered excitedly over the cobblestone path leading up to the service counter. And my tuft of a tail stood upright when I saw that the special drink of the day was a rare Argentinean blend with nutmeg and hazelberry. At this moment, I cared not if my mother had been shot by hunters or if my father's antlers were dulled and graying. I was home.

The dessert counter unfolded before me as though the clouds were parting over the Grand Canyon after a thunderstorm. Cakes and cookies, tarts and biscotti, soufflés and pastries, each handmade that very day in the bakery that must smell like heaven and be manned by fallen angels. Colorful and vibrant, they were arranged with the thought and care of a holiday store front window display. I felt a drop of water splash upon my toe, and for a moment was concerned that the rain would sully my outdoor enjoyment of the treats. But I quickly realized that it was not rain, but my own salty tears springing from my eyelids, brought upon by the sheer beauty of the bounty that awaited my anxious belly.

The glowing barista smiled at me behind her dark hipster glasses, her teeth straight and her tongue studded. She asked me what I'd like, and I answered truthfully when I replied with a fervent "Everything!" She offered a sample shot of her choosing, and handed me a tiny cup of the house espresso. I brought the drink under my impeccable mustache, blew gently twice, and took a sip. The espresso warmed my very soul, not just in that moment, but back in time to when I was a boy. I could feel all the embarrassment and dismay of my schooling years sliding off my shoulders, never to return. The next sip warmed the soul of my future self, and I could sense that my impending arthritis was no longer of consequence thanks to this scrumptious ambrosia.

Eager for more, I ordered a large mug of the Argentinean blend, a chocolate raspberry soufflé, a lemon macadamia biscotti, and a marmalade tart. I found a table nestled amongst the shrubbery, and fancied myself one of Robin Hood's merry men, huddled away in the Buckleshire forest, feasting upon provisions nicked from the passing carriages of wealthy statesmen. Just as I was about to dive into my java, an acorn fell from the tree above me and plopped directly into my mug! Instead of flying into a rage and hurling my seat cushion at the nearest child as I have been known to do in the past, I took it all in stride, chalking it up to the experience. In fact, I allowed the acorn to bob delightfully atop my cup, and to this day I swear that it only enhanced the rich nutty flavor.

Later that evening as I returned to my lavish quarters, my belly full of soufflés and tarts and the dozens of other wonderfuls I simply had to sample before I could wrench myself from my woodland den, I happened upon the brilliant idea of planting the fallen acorn. The tree that sprung forth would grow forever in celebration of that inaugural visit to the RCB, and I'm sure that the fruit this tree bears will include ripened coffee beans, peanut butter chip cookies, and endive jam. Marvelous.

Monday, September 17

deliciousmacdoob in Caribbean


... and another here, also on Sept. 17 :
http://reviewsby.us/restaurant/brodullos

http://reviewsby.us/restaurant/brodullos wrote:


Comments about Brodullo's

deliciousmacdoob - 17 September 2007

If it were proper, I'd have eaten the cutlery!

Another meal review by Vernon MacDooble

Supper this Thursday past altered the course of mankind's future. I dined at the newly opened Brodullo's, whose radio spots you may have heard recently touting their edible plates. I too had heard these commercials while driving in my German-engineered automobile, which everyone in my complex must agree is the finest vehicle in our underground parking garage. The prospect of edible plates was too much to resist, and I headed for the establishment at once.

Even before I entered the marble-laden lobby of Brodullo's, the thick perfume of assorted stews wafted sensuously into my eager nostrils. I could almost see the scent trails, whirling through the concourse air like the streamers of an Olympic streamer dancer. The spiced odor caused me to dance myself, spinning and twirling, drunk on the aroma of what would soon enter my belly, until the snaggle-toothed young hostess informed me that my table was ready. The table cloths were made of paper, for in a restaurant where plates are food and stew is the specialty, the table itself is often left sodden. A small container of wax crayons had been left for me to doodle, and I noticed with a joyous snort that various stew stained creations of patrons past decorated the walls. I ordered an Arnold Palmer, and set about drawing myself in a castle, chewing the limbs from my chocolate flavored concubines.

I perused the appetizers offered on the shiny, laminated menu, and found I could not resign myself to ordering a starter in an establishment where soup and soup-like concoctions were to be the main course. So I skipped straight ahead to the house special: New England clam chowder served on a plate of fresh olive loaf. The waiter of ambiguous gender informed me that there was a short wait for that dish, as it had been selling faster than they could concoct. I patted it on the knee and assured it there was no bother. I was happy for the time to continue working on my tableau, which had grown to epic proportions. I rotated the table cloth to situate an empty area at my front, and continued to draw myself as a god being worshipped by lost island civilizations. My tongue was golden and my belly wise above all.

At long last the storied plate was brought forth. The plate was indeed made of olive loaf, curled up along the edges to contain the steaming mass of potato, clam, and cheese inside. It smelled like magic. I couldn't resist, and lifting the plate to my mouth, took a large bite from the side. Unfortunately, this caused the chowder to flow freely from the gap and spread upon the part of the table cloth where I had drawn myself eating the Trojan horse. I frowned beneath my impeccable mustache.

My frown, however, was quickly replaced by a blissful squeal. The tastes exploding in my mouth caused me to nearly faint with deliciousness. The chowder was like chunky tears of the gods. The bread plate was like the olivey flesh of fabled unicorns. Only Napoleon discovering the America could've known how I felt as I chewed and swallowed, and dove in for more. Foregoing the spoon altogether, I tore pieces from the edges of the plate and dipped them into the creamy white stew. The clams I tossed down my gullet had surely contained pearls of greatest worth. The milk used for the silky broth had surely come from cows boasting teats of gold. I felt like a sheltered caribou who had eaten nothing but spindly shrubbery his entire life tasting a strawberry for the first time. Mind blowing.

When it was over, my table cloth was soiled, my mural all but destroyed, but my stomach exploding with passionate celebration. The waiter offered dessert, but I could not imagine ever wanting to replace the taste in my mouth with anything else. I demanded that the chef be brought forward so as to laud him with praise and congratulations, but he could not leave the kitchen as he was stricken with pink eye. Nevertheless, I sent him my compliments through the waiter, and asked him to place any salvageable section of my drawing upon the wall with the others. As I sauntered away, the waiter tacked up a small section of my masterpiece, in which I was depicted clipping my toenails before a roaring crowd.

deliciousmacdoob - 17 September 2007



Edit: Tagged. -SpaceBass

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:06 pm
Last edited by iconsumer on Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:46 am; edited 5 times in total
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iconsumer
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 		Pretty sure the last two reviews were just fluff to make the tagruato-related one seem more real, but they're at least a fun read. Laughing

... though they were all water/ocean related in some way!

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:17 pm
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smash_tv
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 		How was the review found in the first place?

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:33 pm
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Red Walrus
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smash_tv wrote:
How was the review found in the first place?

By putting "kaitei no mitsu" in the search engine I think.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:48 pm
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AfterDystopia
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 		Dear God, his writing makes me "cry tears of utter painfulness". Yeesh. And what part of this lead us to the Tagruato site? I missed that bit.

EDIT: Thanks for clearing that up, iconsumer. Boy, do I feel like an idiot...
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:06 am
Last edited by AfterDystopia on Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:53 am; edited 1 time in total
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iconsumer
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 		Updated the first post for those confused...

iconsumer wrote:
Forum member Dr. Awkward found the following review (posted Sept 24th) after googling "kaitei no mitsu", as found in the Japanese text on the back of the new picture.

http://www.menuism.com/users/deliciousmacdoob/reviews

Then forum member MrToasty found the Tagruato website (Tagruato is mentioned in the above review), I'm assuming by simply typing in Tagruato.jp (because Tagruato brings up nothing in google for me).


PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:46 am
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MrToasty
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 		Yep, from Dr. Awkward's find I started searching based on the names listed in the review. Tagruato being in Honshu really stuck out, so I tried Tagruato.jp. Ganu Yoshida being the CEO sealed it for me.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:32 am
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deletia
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 		Vernon MacDooble anagram
humorous
Hah. Neither here nor there, but as it happens, if you plug Vernon MacDooble into the trusty old anagram generator, the first anagram that pops up is "A Overbold Conmen." Grammatically incorrect and almost certainly irrelevant, but funny, I thought.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 10:18 pm
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lordnaff
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 		Yeh, they are all a bit psychadelic these reviews. Makes me think this guy must've eaten too much slusho-laced food!

I would guess the idea of using such a character to lead to Tagruato corp is to also show that the "secret" ingredient is becoming more and more widespread. Although why it hasn't been named a class-A drug yet is unusual, judging by the way this guy writes!

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:49 am
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keeno_82uk
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 		i'm guessing in the "cloverfield world", there isn't enough proof to backup long term health problems if ingesting the ingredient. They probably think its just makes you feel good and the world probably needs more of the stuff. New York being stereotypically the most depressed city in the world (ghostbusters 2 and other sources)

The ingredient so far shows that people who consume it are left with control over themselves, unlike class A drugs where you are just off your head, but maybe just give you minor hallucinations/trips (as shown by the makers of the slusho site maybe and the writer of the review).

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:18 am
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tinytim
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 		Anyone notice that he mentions Buckleshire forest in regards to Robin Hood when it was Sherwood Forest. I tried googling Buckleshire but all that came up was this review. So, I don't know maybe it will ring a bell with someone else or someone smarter than me can make a connection somewhere. Very Happy

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:58 am
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daisho
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 		Bonaire
Hi, just joined, loving your work. Has anyone else noticed the island of Bonaire is pretty close to the Kaika station. It is just north of Venezuala.

12°10'19.53"N 68°16'53.06"W

Don't know if it means anything.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:07 pm
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Be@rbrick
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keeno_82uk wrote:
i'm guessing in the "cloverfield world", there isn't enough proof to backup long term health problems if ingesting the ingredient. They probably think its just makes you feel good and the world probably needs more of the stuff. New York being stereotypically the most depressed city in the world (ghostbusters 2 and other sources)

The ingredient so far shows that people who consume it are left with control over themselves, unlike class A drugs where you are just off your head, but maybe just give you minor hallucinations/trips (as shown by the makers of the slusho site maybe and the writer of the review).


There would have to be some sort of long term testing done for Slusho to slip by the FDA and enter the US market. We know that Slusho is the second most popular beverage in Asian countires, which means the secret ingredient has been around for a while and testing has taken place. Additionally, their slogan, "you can't drink just six", basically begs people to consume mass quantities. Most corporations wouldn't encourage their consumers to over-indulge in something that would be unsafe out of the fear of legal ramifications and the subsequent bad PR. Legal ramifications and bad PR are the last thing a company that will soon be one of the wealthiest in the world would really want.

So I doubt the drug has long-term negative affects on humans, but who's to say that the DSI can't affect animals differently? I can eat as much chocolate as I want, but you can't feed it to a dog or cat without it getting sick. We shouldn't assume Slusho will affect the monster the same as it affects people. For humans slusho makes you feel good, for the monster it sends it into an adrenaline/coke induced, city-destroying rage.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:10 pm
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BigThunder
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Be@rbrick wrote:

There would have to be some sort of long term testing done for Slusho to slip by the FDA and enter the US market. We know that Slusho is the second most popular beverage in Asian countires, which means the secret ingredient has been around for a while and testing has taken place. Additionally, their slogan, "you can't drink just six", basically begs people to consume mass quantities. Most corporations wouldn't encourage their consumers to over-indulge in something that would be unsafe out of the fear of legal ramifications and the subsequent bad PR. Legal ramifications and bad PR are the last thing a company that will soon be one of the wealthiest in the world would really want.


I remember a movie in the 80's called "The Stuff" in which some miners find a white gooey substance coming out of the ground. One of them tastes it and finds that it's quite tasty so they start selling it. Well, after eating the "Stuff" people start turning into Zombies and begin wreaking havoc on America.

I don't remember the miners getting any testing done on the Stuff before they put it out on the market for human consumption.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 2:30 pm
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Dr. Awkward
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BigThunder wrote:
I don't remember the miners getting any testing done on the Stuff before they put it out on the market for human consumption.


This stands as evidence that Larry Cohen is half the director/writer as JJ Abrams. Razz

Possibly, Bad Robots's enjoyable (successful) viral marketing (AR) requires certain "believable" plot devices that contain themselves within the parameters sub-reality.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 2:45 pm
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