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 Forum index » Chaotic Fiction » Marble Hornets
The REAL Slenderman Book (Making it myself)
Moderators: Giskard, JKatkina, Zarggg
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Renren
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Joined: 23 Dec 2009
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Location: California

 		Sounds good so far Smile

Just a couple things I noticed: in the second to last paragraph in the prologue, Vanessa's name needs to be capitalized once

and in Chapter 1, you switched the spelling of Amhearst halfway through.

Also, how quickly did the officer find the scene?

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:27 am
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gordon_ramsay
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Joined: 27 Sep 2009
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Renren wrote:
Sounds good so far Smile

Just a couple things I noticed: in the second to last paragraph in the prologue, Vanessa's name needs to be capitalized once

and in Chapter 1, you switched the spelling of Amhearst halfway through.

Also, how quickly did the officer find the scene?


Thank you, I will make those corrections ASAP. And he found the scene while driving home, having just ended his shift.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:12 pm
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Renren
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gordon_ramsay wrote:
And he found the scene while driving home, having just ended his shift.


Ah okay. I'm not sure decomp would have happened in just a few hours, especially on a cold night. He wouldn't be able to smell the stench much. (I think. I could be wrong on that.)

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:49 pm
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gordon_ramsay
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Joined: 27 Sep 2009
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Renren wrote:
gordon_ramsay wrote:
And he found the scene while driving home, having just ended his shift.


Ah okay. I'm not sure decomp would have happened in just a few hours, especially on a cold night. He wouldn't be able to smell the stench much. (I think. I could be wrong on that.)


Actually, I did look that up. Normally, no, you wouldn't, but in a wooded area, surrounded by dead rotting trees, the bacteria that causes decomposition can act faster, even in the cold.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:51 pm
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Renren
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Joined: 23 Dec 2009
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Location: California
gordon_ramsay wrote:
Renren wrote:
gordon_ramsay wrote:
And he found the scene while driving home, having just ended his shift.


Ah okay. I'm not sure decomp would have happened in just a few hours, especially on a cold night. He wouldn't be able to smell the stench much. (I think. I could be wrong on that.)


Actually, I did look that up. Normally, no, you wouldn't, but in a wooded area, surrounded by dead rotting trees, the bacteria that causes decomposition can act faster, even in the cold.


Oh okay, my bad then. I did try to find a timeline, but I couldn't Razz Oh well. Good story Smile

PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:00 pm
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gordon_ramsay
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 		I must apologize for my hiatus on the story. Right after christmas, I fell very ill, and haven't been able to focus much, save for brief bouts of sanity. rest assured, as I finish typing this, I will get back to working on it. I should have the next chapter up by the end of the week, at the latest.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:17 pm
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