unforum

[G.I.R]

I REFUSE TO LET THIS FALL INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE PAGE!

AS SUCH LET IT BE DECREED!

THE GOLDEN QUESTION!

[KamenZero]

Hey guys. Hey guys. Hey guys. Hey guys Hey guys hey guys heyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysheyguysHEYGUYSHEYGUYS!!!!!!

I'm making an Off-topic post.

[Verdett]

oh ok, i was wondering where this went ^_^, on a side note...weirdest freaking day of work i had just now! o.o

[Didz]

[Gale]

[Verdett]

[ravenofroses]

i'm always a little impressed by people who know how to shop with coupons. O.o it's like they're using cheat codes i will never be able to figure out.

. . .

gah. okay. so this is out of left field, i know, but believe me when i say it's been building up for awhile and i might as well throw it out here when there's not much activity on the thread.

awhile back, people were talking about why they entered the tournament. boredom, curiosity, the need to be included in the game, deathwish, etc. i thought about that for some time. and, well, i know why i entered. it wasn't just out of a need to be included in the game or to win or whatever.

i signed up because my big brother died recently. well, he's been dying for a year or so now. but a month ago, things got...significantly worse, and i haven't been able to contact him since then, so it's pretty safe to say that if he isn't dead now, he will be very soon. and besides the whole grief/deathwish thing, i'm now missing a huge part of my...ability to access and puzzle out strange things, if that makes sense. with my big brother, there was always some kind of riddle or code to solve. without him, things are so...boring. i've got a rather perilous addiction to searching out the unknown, and this tournament provided, if nothing else, the semblance of a distraction.

i'm sorry to be such a downer, but...fuck. it's been an awful last year, and the more involved i get in these ARGs, the less time i have to wallow in what i've lost. competing for no real reason against fellow forum-goers and the main characters of my favorite game? at this point, i live for this kind of shit.

feh. i should try to sleep before i bum myself out.

[Verdett]

[Rhiannon]

@raven: ::hugs::

Having also lost someone in my immediate family (a long time ago now) I know that none of the standard platitudes mean a damn thing. So I offer e-hugs because I can't really say anything else.

[Luipaard]

[G.I.R]

[SickSlickMan]

@raven:

[Soleil]

@ raven: I know us hybrids can't replace your big brother. But we are a psuedo sort of family here; hope we can help in some, any, way. (also sends hugs your way)

[ravenofroses]

*sigh* thankee, luvs. and, eh, i didn't mean to take over the thread or anything. just...you know. needed to get shit off my chest. and i can't really...talk to people "irl" about it. especially when i'm not entirely sure he's gone. people want to know what hospital he was at (none at all, probably, given that he hates them and they wouldn't have been able to do much anyway), why can't i get out to see him, stupid shit about how my family is holding up or why can't i find out from someone if he's dead yet. he's not blood-related and his associates hate me, so i wouldn't expect any of them to let me know unless they just wanted to watch me fall apart. it's fucking awkward, and it's hard to keep calm in person. so you lovely folks get to bear the brunt of all this.

i've been thinking a lot about him today. he watched me grow up, or at least he was there for the important bits. my birthday is on tuesday, and i'm not sure how i feel about not being able to discuss aging and christmas and year's end rituals and family relations and...

i dunno. life kind of sucks. but i appreciate the sympathies, i really do. heh. i'll try not to clutter the thread much more with my babbling. this place is for gif wars and mock battles, not sad panda-ing.

[G.I.R]