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 Forum index » Chaotic Fiction » Marble Hornets
If Hollywood remade Marble Hornets, how bad could it be?
Moderators: Giskard, JKatkina, Zarggg
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ShadowWolf
Boot


Joined: 16 Nov 2011
Posts: 27
pravado wrote:
not really, go watch the movie then come back and post your reaction again

I've already seen it. It would be rather odd that I posted a comment about it if I hadn't.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:47 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		People the found old footage would best found think.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:59 pm
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Aylana
Boot

Joined: 03 Dec 2009
Posts: 11

 		How bad could it be?

Nicholas Cage. Shocked

That bad.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:39 am
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LegoAlchemist
Boot


Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Posts: 41
Location: Oregon
SecretPerson wrote:
So, if Marble Hornets was a Hollywood movie... Hmmm...

At the end of the movie, Dr. Hoody has successfully fed Jessica to GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM. The traumatized Jay who witnessed the event struggles as he makes his way to Totheark Incorporated, seeking revenge. Dr. Hoody orders GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM to step on Jay. He complies and promptly crushes Jay. Cue slow zoom-out of Jay's body in a pool of very fake-looking blood with his right arm ripped off.

BUT THEN Jay's eyes glow red as he yells "Give me back Jessica!" before his brain suddenly reactivates and gains 50 IQ points. GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM hastily attempts to stomp on Jay again, but his attacks get blocked by a camera-shaped forcefield surrounding Jay, who has regrown his missing arm. Jay slices GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM in half with laser eyes, exposing the mask-shaped core. Jay floats up off of the ground and approaches the core of the demobilized GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM.

Jessica's voice tells Jay that she can be replaced. Jay denies Jessica's claim and gradually enters GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM's core by floating through the right eyehole. Inside of the core, Jay struggles to get to Jessica, who is trapped in the center. Jay eventually finds that he can't push through the core anymore, so he has no choice but to offer Jessica his hand. At this point, the force of the core is severely wearing on Jay. After a moment, Jessica finally takes Jay's hand and he pulls her out of the center of the core. As Jay embraces Jessica and they begin to float towards the outside of the core, Jay thanks Jessica for her efforts of getting Alex sane again. Jessica apologizes that she couldn't do anything, but Jay says things are okay the way they are.


...Yeah, I haven't slept in 20 hours. Shit goes down at 5:00 AM.


After five pages of posts, I am proud to say that I am the only one who understood this reference.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:45 am
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Accela
Boot


Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Posts: 64

 		Giant naked Rei was scary. Giant naked Rei with giant robot Angel head was really NOT GOOD. Giant naked Tim?

...

...

...AAAAUGH *pointy stick to eyeballs*

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:57 pm
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SecretPerson
Entrenched


Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Posts: 1020
Location: Nowhere

 		I'm surprised that someone actually got that reference.


Jay is Shinji, except he's thwarted with mass stupidity instead of mass depression. He goes into Instrumentality to raise his IQ by trying to understand the endless psychoblabble and mindfuckery.

Jessica is Rei, because she's a clone of Jay's mother (I proposed that theory; it's irrefutable).

Alex is Asuka, because he's a bitch. He also has an endless stream of shippers.

Tim is Kaworu, because he has an endless stream of fangirls.

Accela wrote:
Giant naked Rei was scary. Giant naked Rei with giant robot Angel head was really NOT GOOD. Giant naked Tim?

...

...

...AAAAUGH *pointy stick to eyeballs*

Giant Naked Rei -> Giant Naked Jessica
Giant Naked Kaworu -> Giant Naked Tim (oh fuck)
_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:16 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		Think all the neo geo evo talk caused head ache to people.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:31 pm
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Rhea
Decorated


Joined: 13 Oct 2011
Posts: 157
Location: Somewhere east of weird

 		SP, you're an Eva fan? And here I was too nervous to mention I liked anime...>3> well, some anime anyway. Not the weird-as-shit stuff, but there are a few which I'm rather fond of.

Jay as Shinji and Tim as Kowaru? Good god man, what have you done? xD (not to mention Alex as Asuka O_o)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:00 pm
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SecretPerson
Entrenched


Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Posts: 1020
Location: Nowhere
Rhea wrote:
SP, you're an Eva fan? And here I was too nervous to mention I liked anime...>3> well, some anime anyway. Not the weird-as-shit stuff, but there are a few which I'm rather fond of.

Eva's the only anime I have ever watched, and probably the only one I ever will watch. I've watched all of the series and movies except for End of Evangelion.

Rhea wrote:
Jay as Shinji and Tim as Kowaru? Good god man, what have you done? xD (not to mention Alex as Asuka O_o)

It's not too unreasonable. Lots of comparisons can be made. At this rate, Jay will rip Tim's head off towards the end of Season 3. Mark my words.

Tharol wrote:
Think all the neo geo evo talk caused head ache to people.

Quiet, you!
_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:12 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		People next Marble Hornets film Timtim and his dog Rocky think.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:21 pm
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AngryDeepground
Entrenched

Joined: 25 Jun 2011
Posts: 764
Tharol wrote:
People next Marble Hornets film Timtim and his dog Rocky think.


The premise of that movie makes sense now.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:55 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		People the Masky light Breaking Alex part one hotel video.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:09 pm
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LegoAlchemist
Boot


Joined: 30 Aug 2011
Posts: 41
Location: Oregon
SecretPerson wrote:
Rhea wrote:
SP, you're an Eva fan? And here I was too nervous to mention I liked anime...>3> well, some anime anyway. Not the weird-as-shit stuff, but there are a few which I'm rather fond of.

Eva's the only anime I have ever watched, and probably the only one I ever will watch. I've watched all of the series and movies except for End of Evangelion.


WATCH END OF EVA NOW, YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.

But let's not get off topic.

The movie would probably be crap. There's no way they'd have enough time to tell the entire Marble Hornets story in one film.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:46 pm
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Accela
Boot


Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Posts: 64

 		I think Hollywood just wouldn't know what to do with a Marble Hornets movie. For one, it's too...subtle, I guess is the word. You don't have a lot of flashy violence and blood spattering around.

That and Marble Hornets does not actually have a huge amount happening, not until you start carefully looking into the background of shots and realizing something's wrong and the Operator was really right there watching the whole time. That works wonderfully on a web series, which doles out little tidbits of things one entry at a time, but compact them into a two-hour movie and it loses much of its power.

That and I suspect they would really bugger up the characters. I want Jay to stay a bit stupid and dorky! I don't want him to be an action-y hero!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:09 am
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sp103
Unfettered

Joined: 07 Jan 2008
Posts: 447

 		Simple:

They give it the "Blair Witch 2 Book of Shadows" ending.

Done.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 2:25 am
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