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[Jordan]

 If Hollywood remade Marble Hornets, how bad could it be?

[SecretPerson]

So, if Marble Hornets was a Hollywood movie... Hmmm...

At the end of the movie, Dr. Hoody has successfully fed Jessica to GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM. The traumatized Jay who witnessed the event struggles as he makes his way to Totheark Incorporated, seeking revenge. Dr. Hoody orders GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM to step on Jay. He complies and promptly crushes Jay. Cue slow zoom-out of Jay's body in a pool of very fake-looking blood with his right arm ripped off.

BUT THEN Jay's eyes glow red as he yells "Give me back Jessica!" before his brain suddenly reactivates and gains 50 IQ points. GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM hastily attempts to stomp on Jay again, but his attacks get blocked by a camera-shaped forcefield surrounding Jay, who has regrown his missing arm. Jay slices GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM in half with laser eyes, exposing the mask-shaped core. Jay floats up off of the ground and approaches the core of the demobilized GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM.

Jessica's voice tells Jay that she can be replaced. Jay denies Jessica's claim and gradually enters GIANT NAKED ROBOT TIM's core by floating through the right eyehole. Inside of the core, Jay struggles to get to Jessica, who is trapped in the center. Jay eventually finds that he can't push through the core anymore, so he has no choice but to offer Jessica his hand. At this point, the force of the core is severely wearing on Jay. After a moment, Jessica finally takes Jay's hand and he pulls her out of the center of the core. As Jay embraces Jessica and they begin to float towards the outside of the core, Jay thanks Jessica for her efforts of getting Alex sane again. Jessica apologizes that she couldn't do anything, but Jay says things are okay the way they are.


...Yeah, I haven't slept in 20 hours. Shit goes down at 5:00 AM.

[Foood]

*Jay gets into car*

*Slendy's sitting in the back seat*

[Jordan]

Secret Person wrote

[SadinaSaphrite]

"You're impossibly tall. And slender. Your face is... pale, and missing. You glitch out my camera, and you stand in dark forests. Unmoving. Silent. Waiting. ...I know what you are."

"Say it. Out loud."

"Operator."

[ShadowWolf]

Alex and the Operator have an argument and walk away from each other three quarters of the way into the film, then there's a being-lonely-with-sad-music montage, then they buddy up again.

[Jordan]

SadinaSaphrite wrote:

[Luno]

The climax of the movie involves an epic showdown between Jay, our hero and the Operator. Here is an excerpt from the script:

The OPERATOR appears. But this time, JAY is prepared. Time to face his destiny.

JAY: Thought you could stalk me all these years and get away with it? Well you thought wrong motherfucker!

He pulls out a MACHINE GUN from hammerspace.

JAY: Operate this!

SLOW MOTION image of the Operator being peppered with bullets to semi-sad music. His body is thrown this way and that by the impact. After ten or so bullets, he FALLS. Cut to a close-up of his dying face: a single TEAR wells up from where his eye should be and runs down his cheek.

Jay, on seeing the bloodied corpse, finally relaxes. It's over.

Enter JESSICA.

JESSICA: Jay!

Jay turns to see Jessica running toward him.

JAY: Jessica! I thought I lost you!

Jessica: I got lost in woods I'd never been in. But now I've found you and we're safe!

They KISS. Jessica doesn't seem to mind that Jay is covered in Hollywood-stylised grime and blood. His scars just make him sexier.

FADE OUT, CREDITS ROLL.

Note:
After the credits, a scene with the Operator's mangled body. A close up shows one of his elongated fingers twitch. Ominous music plays. Thus paving the way for the inevitable failure of a sequel "Marble Hornets II: Revenge of the Operator" (hint: in this one, Jay dies at the end, sacrificing himself for the woman he loves. Luckily, without knowing, he managed to knock her up before he dies, so at least she has something to remember him by. The last shot of the sequel is of a sombre-looking Jessica carrying a baby boy to a cemetery. She places flowers on Jay's grave and tells her son the story of his father, the hero. But I digress.)

[onetruepurple]

- the Operator actually wearing a suit instead of looking like he's wearing a suit
- stupid cliche references like "where we're going we won't need eyes"
- Jay is an avid skeptic like the asshole boyfriend from Paranormal Activity 1
- gore
- "better actors"
- not being directed by Nolan

[Rhea]

In the Hollywood version, Tim dies in 4 seconds due to the fact that Alex carries a giant machine gun and rigs every building he's in to explode the moment he gets 20 feet away. There's a lot of matrix-like choreography and all fights take place in mid-air.

All shots of the Operator are in slow-motion, especially the one where Jay runs directly at him, that one is in slo-mo and it ends with a giant explosion. However, Jay is thrown clear because he had turned his face away, and then he runs off and has a passionate romance with Jessica. Also he's played by Robert Downy Jr., who by contract has demanded a one-liner for every scene he's in, and Jessica is played by Mila Kunis. Alex is played by Gary Busey and Tim doesn't even have an actor, he's just a mannequin who gets blown up during the big opening scene where Alex rigs the house to explode and then walks away without looking at it.

The Operator is CG-i and has MASSES OF TENTACLES, and it can speak in the voice of Sauron. It also has an entire army of Maskies, and all of them carry ray guns. Then Jay and Jessica unite to find the one ring and use it to defeat the evil empire...wait a minute...

[icetailgreg]

My version of 'Marble Hornets: The Movie' would be the following:
*ALL the main characters would carry around weapons. J would use twin Katanas, Alex would have a GIANT revolver (like he's compensating for something), Tim would have Maskyrangs (like batarangs, but shaped like a mask.) when in normal form, but when he turns into Masky, he dons the 'MECHA TIM' , a giant robot that looks like Tim. MECHA TIM would shoot rapid-fire lasers and could shoot electricity with his sideburns. Jessica...um...would scream? She probably wouldn't get a weapon, since Hollywood would (and is) rather sexist. tO would talk, but his voice would be distorted and he would speak rapidly. The finale would start with J and tO dueling atop a building. Suddenly, Tim (Now aware that he is Masky) and Alex appear, with them engaged in combat as well. Alex dashes up the building (because shut up) and TiMasky firing on him with 'MECHA TIM'. The building begins to collapse and tO and J jump off, their duel continuing in the air. J would then begin screaming 'This is for (insert persons name here)'. Hoody would have been revealed at this point, and whoever was Hoody would be said. J would also say 'This is for totheark'. TTA would have died at this point, but imbued his power into J. J would be engulfed in blue flames as he spoke. He would finally say 'This. Is for my. Retribution!' and he would dive at an insane speed and slice through tO, his distorted scream ringing loud. J would land and be surrounded by the surviving cast. Alex would walk over and say something along the lines of 'it's finally over'. This would trigger J to make a speech about how tO is humanity's darkest emotions and couldn't be stopped. 'In fact' J would say, pulling out a camera and pointing it at the audience, 'I see him right now'. Credits Roll. During the credits, just for a laugh, the main characters would do the 'Yes Dance'. Over the top much?

[Geneaux486]

The worst of it would probably just be a lot of special effects (which these days aren't all that special anymore) and the Operator being way too mobile, probably having tentacles that he crawls around on or some similar bullshit, looking computer generated, and basically just not being scary anymore. We'd probably get a more cliche story to. The sooner slenderman gets a restraining order on the mainstream the better. Bad enough metal's already got its paws on him.

[Tharol]

Blame the fun thing Hollywood cast Marble Hornets crews.

[AngryDeepground]

Hey guy's it wouldn't be so bad if in like ten years Troy directed a film adaptation of it.

Unless Jay was played by Samual L Jackson.

But I think Chuck Noris could do a convincing Bruce interpretation.

[Forecast]

Probably a lot like this http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1658837/ . Probably