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HUMOR: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Moderators: Giskard, imbri, ndemeter
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vpisteve
Asshatministrator


Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2441
Location: 1987

 		HUMOR: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
These are the 10 winners of last year's Bulwer-Lytton contest (run by the English Dept of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a BAD novel.

The 2002 winners can be found at http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2002.htm

Funny stuff! Very Happy


10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."

Cool "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes,perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep...Andre creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the wall, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the smugly satisfied, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied, You lied!!!'"
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 2:41 pm
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jamesi
Sentient Being


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 2195
Location: Canadia

 		untapped potential
/me furiously recruits some new writers for his website, hopingto snap the person who wrote about breaking wind. breaking wind is ALWAYS funny, ALWAYS.

Laughing
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 6:11 pm
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Tien_Le
Charter Member


Joined: 22 Sep 2002
Posts: 878
Location: corner of no and where

 		Thanks, Steve...that was great for some laughs.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2002 2:13 pm
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jamesi
Sentient Being


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 2195
Location: Canadia

 		UPDATE (in the sense that I just came across this post after a long time and the 2003 results are up).

http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2003.htm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2004 12:07 am
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