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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: The Haunted Apiary (Let Op!) » The Haunted Apiary (Let Op!): General/Updates
[HUMOR] ilovebeer.org *Updated with Credits*
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Buzzkill247
Decorated

Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 187
Location: Galesville WI

 		Leave it to the PMs to yank our chains in 2 directions lol I'm impressed to say the least..... Worshippy
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"Master Chief.. What are you doing on that ship?" "Finishing this war...." - Finale....?

"I know what the lady likes..." - Sgt. Johnson

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:10 am
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Cherry Cotton
Decorated


Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 237

 		I agree! Vanderful!

My favorite part was always, "This medium is classified and has a STRONG BLACKBERRY AFTERTASTE."

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:22 am
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celina63
Entrenched


Joined: 28 Sep 2002
Posts: 909
Location: San Diego, CA
Gestas wrote:

One question for the PMs of ILoveBeer/HauntedBrewery/IchLiebeBier:

Are those recipes personally tested?


heehee! No, sorry... you expect us to be able to cook after drinking all that beer? Very Happy

C
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:22 am
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krystyn
I Never Tire of My Own Voice


Joined: 26 Sep 2002
Posts: 3651
Location: Is not Chicago

 		Beheheheheheh.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 6:33 am
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GabrielBlade
Decorated

Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 202
krystyn wrote:
Beheheheheheh.




I could have sworn Jane sounded a little like you. Even with the distortion from the song, I still picked it. Just with not enough certainty to say anything..


.. still, much congratulations to all the ILoveBeer crew. You guys did fantastically.. on a majorly limited budget, I'll bet, compared to ILB.


Bring on the Syzygy comedy..
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Gabriel Blade::Lord of the Asylum::Emperor of Insanity
---»For Whom the Bell Tolls.. Time Marches On«---

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 10:50 am
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Eclipse
Decorated


Joined: 03 Nov 2004
Posts: 166
Location: Dark Side of the Moon

 		Omg...I'm crying...LOL

From your_hands

Dan: "Hey Sholdier, is that a taser in you hand or you just Haappy to see me?"
*sound of the taser being thrusted into Dan's body*
Dan: *shouting in pain* "OWWW, OHH, What the Censored you do that for? OWW AHH"

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time

What a great job y'all..great quality all the way around
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but the sun is eclipsed by the moon

Gamertag: SurplusShihtzu

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:47 pm
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ScarpeGrosse
Site Admin


Joined: 30 Nov 2002
Posts: 1678
Location: The Shiny Castle in the Sky, Full of Cotton Candy and Hazelnut Lattes
celina63 wrote:
Gestas wrote:

One question for the PMs of ILoveBeer/HauntedBrewery/IchLiebeBier:

Are those recipes personally tested?


heehee! No, sorry... you expect us to be able to cook after drinking all that beer? Very Happy

C


Actually, if I remember correctly, the guys did try out the Beer Nuts recipe...

I won't go into details about the results - they're too disturbing to put into words. I will say, however, that the guys were all very happy with them.
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Allow me to take off my 'assistant skirt' and put on my 'Barbara Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.'

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:57 pm
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CoffeeJedi
Unfictologist


Joined: 27 Jul 2004
Posts: 1327
Location: Charlotte NC, USA

 		so you were parodying an ARG... while you were playing it, with no idea how the real one would end, no idea of the PM's intentions, AND had to make things up as the real ARG went to stay current?


daaaaaaaaaaamn

good job guys!
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!splotch

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 1:15 pm
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Tien_Le
Charter Member


Joined: 22 Sep 2002
Posts: 878
Location: corner of no and where

 		ho-ly...
Two words:
Both Hands.
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consume less; live more

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 1:56 pm
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krystyn
I Never Tire of My Own Voice


Joined: 26 Sep 2002
Posts: 3651
Location: Is not Chicago
GabrielBlade wrote:
krystyn wrote:
Beheheheheheh.


I could have sworn Jane sounded a little like you. Even with the distortion from the song, I still picked it. Just with not enough certainty to say anything..


That's awesome. Heh heh! I wanna send a major shout-out to Steve right now, because he's the guy that took all our individual voice files and put them all together and foleyed them and everything, and made it sound so good.

He's truly a god amongst men, and he just keeps proving that, over and over again. Very Happy

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:08 pm
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fireball
Charter Member


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 205
Location: living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the st

 		I wish I could say that I had more part of the ilovebeer experience -- Bill & Co. did an awesome job with it.

I did write a version of a script for use on the recipe4.html page, but it never got recorded and done. For that matter, it never got approved -- Spacely also wrote a completely different script, and somewhere between deciding which one to use, the whole thing just got forgotten. Eh well, here's my version of the Lost Episode of Recipe4:

Quote:

goodday.wav

Dirty Old Man: Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now? Hello?

Marie: Puppetmaster's help desk, this is Marie speaking, can I help you?

DOM: I don't know boy you can sure as hell try. I was on a call with someone there, took me an hour and a half to get through all the menus...push "1 if you have a receipt, push 2 if you don't have a receipt, push 3 if you like cheese, push 4 if you want to hear this message again in Swahili..." And then when I suddenly get a real-live person, she puts me on hold, and I lose connection. These lousy cellphones! And then I have to start all over again, pushing 1 for my receipt..."

Marie: How can I help you, sir?

DOM: Yeah, okay. So, the thing is, I'm sitting in my study, having a really good day, with the window shades drawn and the lights off, using my computer, looking at....well, never mind what I was looking at! I can look at whatever I want to on my computer, and what I look at is my own business, and I wasn't touching myself or anything....anyway, suddenly these commandos show up, knock down my door, and start taking my best stuff!

Marie: I assume "these guys" were the vice squad?

toy.wav

DOM: Yeah, right. Fanatics!

Marie: When and where did this take place?

DOM: Hello? Hello? These damn toy cell phones! Hello? That's it, I'm calling my cell phone company to complain! First I lose my dial-up connection, and now this! And I live right next to a tower too. I'm going to complain!

Marie: I'm sure they'll be happy to help you.

DOM: Damn right, they should! And I pay a lot of money in surcharges, which are outrageous. I got my service with AMA Communications...

Marie: Detroit, sir?

DOM: What? Y-yeah, Detroit.

Marie: So, these were vice squad personnel...?

DOM: Fanatics!

Marie: This Fanatic incursion into your study occured in Detroit, sir?

reason.wav
DOM: Yeah, that's what I was just telling you! So I'm in my house in Detroit, it's the middle of the night, and all of a sudden a bunch of wacko () barge in and hustle me at taser point! Taser-point, mind you! Onto some kind of transport in my damn jock strap! Well, I had some pornogr...er...papers. Very *special* papers, if you get my drift, and I made them promise to ship them to me. I managed to hold off the goons long enough to hide...err, secure all my porn...er papers, and put them in a shipping container, and write up a shipping label! And finally I got this really rude fanatic to sign it, this "Grand Poobah", and yet here it is, 3 months later, and no sign of my pictur...er papers, no sign at all!

Marie: You're complaining about evaccing from Detroit, sir...?

DOM: Well, I'm not saying there wasn't a reason for the whole thing....obviously...but I have a receipt!

Marie: *sigh* Name on the receipt?

takeoff.wav

DOM: Grand Poobah Mike Hunt, I was very careful to write that down.

Marie: One moment, sir.

--comm beep--
(knock on door)
CO: Any smut yet?

Comm: A lot of porn on the internet, sir. And it looks like a VW bus just pulled into the driveway.

CO: A microbus...

Comm: One of ours. The Porklipso.

Co: Jimminey!

Comm: Sorry sir, I should have been more specific.
--comm beep--

Marie: I'm sorry to say that Grand Poobah Hunt was arrested for indecent behavior 2 months ago. Something involving trout.

DOM: Oh. But I have a receipt!

Marie: *sigh* Alright, I'll pass it along to my superiors.

DOM: Well, I appreciate that. I know my pornogra...er, papers, are not your first priority right now, but-

Marie: Very forebearing of you, sir.

DOM: But they mean a lot to me. We've been through a lot together. I just can't get as excited without them...and I have a receipt.

Marie: Thank you, your complaint has been filed, and your call has been recorded for quality purposes.

DOM: Thanks so much. I appreciate that. By the way, you have a very sexy voice, Marie. Would you do me one more favor?

Marie: What is that, sir?

DOM: Would you take off your...

Marie (interrupting) Goodbye.


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And all through the night, they poured over the plans. Sometimes they poured on the table, sometimes they poured on the floor, but mostly they poured over the plans.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 6:38 pm
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Ozy_y2k
Unfettered


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 460
Location: Carmel, Indiana

 		Although I was not any more directly involved with the ilovebeer site than (initially unwittingly!) lending my image and mouse ears to the cause, I *am* greatly amused to think that somewhere out there, there is a pervy guy named Dan with my face and Jamesi's voice inflicting his rantings on the universe.

Ha. Ha ha. HahahahahahahahahaMOOOOOOOOOhaaaaaaaaaaa...

[hic].

Salud, guys. You really are Ebil Geniuzez.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 6:53 pm
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ScarpeGrosse
Site Admin


Joined: 30 Nov 2002
Posts: 1678
Location: The Shiny Castle in the Sky, Full of Cotton Candy and Hazelnut Lattes

 		You just inspire us to do the impossible, you sexy, sexy man thang.

Can I rub your ears?
_________________
Allow me to take off my 'assistant skirt' and put on my 'Barbara Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.'

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 6:56 pm
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Ozy_y2k
Unfettered


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 460
Location: Carmel, Indiana

 		Only if you promise to make a wish. Shocked

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 7:15 pm
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SpaceBass
The BADministrator


Joined: 20 Sep 2002
Posts: 2701
Location: pellucidar

 		Well heck I might as well post my failed script too. It had a bit more preverted bent because, well, I'm a prevert. Woo! Actually, Scrappy came up with the movie names, so she's a prevert too.

detroit wrote:
Little Old Lady (LOL): Hello, hello, is anyone there?

Helpful and Incredibly Enthusiastic Young Customer Service Rep (Dude): Customer Service Desk, this is Matthew speaking, can I help you?

LOL: Well I don't know, young man, I hope so. I've had so much trouble trying to get the other lady to answer my question, but she just seems to repeat a bunch of numbers and...oh my, well, I'm just an old lady you know; I don't rightly understand these things. But I have my receipt right here!

Dude: Hmmm, was the lady asking you to PRESS these numbers by any chance?

LOL: Yes...yes, I believe she was at that.

Dude: Yeaaaah, well, that's probably our automated voicemail system, Ma'am. That "lady" isn't actually a...well, a REAL person, if you catch my drift. Now, what can I help you with?

LOL: (Laughs) Oh well, I told you I just don't understand these newfangled gadgmos or whatever you kids call them. But let me tell you my problem, and maybe you can help me? So the thing is I ordered some videos from your interweb place and when they came...well, they just don't seem like what I'd ordered. I like to knit, you know.

Dude: Mmmhmm, great! My grandmother likes to knit too! Well, she did before the...(trails off). ANYway, how are you enjoying the videos?


///



LOL: Oh you don't understand, dearie. I don't think they're the ones I ordered. You see I like to knit and sometimes I quilt and these videos were supposed to be the learning kind; you know, where some nice young lady teaches you what to do. I can't get out of the house much anymore, so that's how I keep myself occupied.

Dude: (interference) Okay, so you ordered some of our instructional videos. And what exactly was wrong with them?

LOL: What? You'll have to speak up, honey, I can't hear as well as I used to. Well, first off, they don't seem to be about knitting at all. Like this one right here is called "Saving Ryan's Privates."

Dude: Oh! That's an excellent choice, Ma'am! I'm sure you'll love that one!

LOL: Well, I'm just not sure, young man. And what is a "Hot Asian Slut?" Maybe you sent these to the wrong address and sent the ones I ordered to someone else? My address is 14447 S. Briarpatch Circle.

Dude: Detroit, Ma'am?

LOL: Pardon me, sweetie? Oh yes, yes, Detroit.

Dude: So, these hot asian girls...

LOL: Sluts.

Dude: The "Hot Asian Sluts." You didn't order that video, Ma'am?

LOL: Oh my, no! That's what I've been telling you!


///


LOL (baffled): So, I don't really understand this interweb thingie, but my nephew - such a nice boy, like yourself, dearie - he set it up for me so I could stay in touch with my family and do my shopping on the TV, except not the TV that lies to you. Because my nephew said I was wasting my money on that stuff. But I ordered the instructional videos and I'm just not sure that "2001 Leagues Under the Bleachers" is going to help with my quilting!

Dude: Oh, another excellent choice, Ma'am! I've got a copy of that one myself!

LOL (sheepish): Well, now I'm not trying to say anything bad about your moving pictures, honey, but they're just not what's listed on my RECEIPT!

Dude (taken aback): Oh my. Perhaps it was a mixup in the shipping department after all. What's the order number on your invoice, Ma'am?


///


LOL: Well, it's WV0434891-7. I always save my receipts. I keep them right next to my newspaper collection so they won't get lost.

Dude: One moment, Ma'am.

(beep beep)

(Knocking at the door)

First Guy: You see that new release yet?

Second Guy: Are you kidding me? I preordered that months ago!

First Guy: Oh my god, it's hot! And the THINGS she DOES with her TONGUE!

Second Guy: Did you know she's like 45?

First Guy: Jesus!

Second Guy: Yeah, yeah I know. She's still got it. Amazing.

(beep beep)


///


Dude: I'm sorry ma'am, but that number doesn't seem to exist in our database. In fact, I've never seen an invoice number of ours in that format before.

LOL: Oh... but I have a receipt!

Dude (sighing): All right! I'll pass this along to my superiors.

LOL: Well I appreciate that, young man. I know you don't want to hear an old lady's problems...

Dude (interrupting): Oh, not at all, Ma'am! I'm happy to help in anyway I can!

LOL: Oh, you DO sound like such a NICE young man! What are you wearing, dearie?

Dude (nonplussed): Uhm, I beg your pardon?

LOL: Oh, oh my! My robe has fallen open and I've spilled my juice allll O-ver my naked body!

Dude: *Click* *Dialtone*

LOL: Well, shi--[CUT OFF]

(beep beep)

(long wind-down sound)

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 7:35 pm
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