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[Smoke]

My personal re-write:

[spunkinator]

Smoke, that's way good.

[Sunyavadin]

What I've put together in the past few minutes. I see some of you've managed the same in the time I've been doing it.


/The Sleeping Princess lay in // the deepest chamber//of the dungeon //in a coffin of glass /

But when the Widow opened the casket's lid// she saw the glass was //cracked, // and though ancient prophecy foretold that only // the kiss //of a handsome prince could wake//her, the Sleeping Princess was //gone. /

/ More footsteps. Door opens and nurse comes in, steel tray rattling with// needles and scalpels and little evil scissors with hooked blades. /

/ Door swings open. It's her. Coffee stains on labcoat. She gives me the queenly smile. Calls me// by name not number. Why not? She took my name away./

[krystyn]

[danteGA]

Great catch by Aerosurge on the SP call log! Listening to it again, we should move "I, I thought this was locked." to the call. So the transcript for that is something like:

[Trynian]

Okay, so we agree on

/ Fluorescent lights. Smell of formaldehyde. Still/
/ feel the new implants, itchy little bumps along my spine./
/ Eggs waiting /
/ to hatch. Gross. Try not to think about it./
/ Short walk through the/
/ Labyrinth. Click-clack of bootsteps in the corridors./
/ Into lab 7. Wait. Tongue depressors, swabsticks, /
/ monitors. Wait. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to—Footsteps in the hall/
/ Middle-aged, female; stride length and time suggest height approx. 1.7m./
/ Halsey./
/ Door swings open. It's her. Coffee stains on labcoat. She gives me the queenly smile. Calls me/
/ by name not number. Why not? She took my name away./
/ She owns it now, can use it if she likes. Tactical option reflex: unarmed;/
/ swabstick through the eye; monitor wire/
/ garrote. Linger there. /

Now I'm uncertain about the order of the following sets:

/ She tells me to get in the chair. I don't kill her. /

/Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to- Lab day, honey. But can't I have a slice /
/ of- Later. This will just take a few minutes. /

/ Don't worry, she says. The queenly smile. This will hardly hurt a bit./

/ More footsteps. Door opens and nurse comes in, steel tray rattling with/
/ needles and scalpels and little evil scissors with hooked blades. /
/ Halsey picks up a needle. Tests the plunger. Something yellow sprays out. Venom colored. /

Thoughts?

[krystyn]

all this talk of the Labyrinth is making me itch to listen to that sound file that got cancelled!

[Smoke]

such praise!

[SuperDunner]

d

[Trynian]

I like Smoke's, too...but does it match up? For instance, I thought

/ monitors. Wait. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to—Footsteps in the hall/

was all one quote, while he has it broken up.

[thebruce]

ok read my organizing now... Smoke had a couple of splits where there shouldn't be, but it still flows...

http://ilb.extrasonic.com/index.php/October_29_Princess_Monologue

there's just that one last "gone." snip that's not yet placed...

and can someone verify that all the punctuation marks are accounted for? I think there's a couple .'s or something that people wrote in here, but weren't quoted with the image contents...

[mordak]

Actually this makes more sense to me:

[Danin]

[Smoke]

*checks*

bloody hell!

Terribly sorry, guys! I think dante's is the best candidate, given my mess up.

*sigh*

[chaotic_mind]

thebruce, that should be at the end of the Sleeping Princess segment.

The Sleeping Princess was
gone.

I think that works.

Luke P.