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[thebruce]

[fiction] Creepy... the ilovebees story

[DreamOfTheRood]

Bruce, you're a saint.

[thebruce]

UPDATE:

Chapters 8 and 9 are now online!

(Chapter 9 is the first chapter of the audio - entirely rewritten as a narrative, and IMO, great in its own way, even with spoken word highlighted so it can still be followed partially while listening to the audio, except you cut out all narrative)

The narrative really adds to it... but I'm commenting on my own work, so that doesn't count feedback is welcome... hehe

keep spreading the word!

[StarCreator]

Nice. Picked out a couple minor things though...

Chapter 8, the text on honey.html - I don't know if this was originally that way then changed later, but the current version of honey.html has slightly different punctuation - first line ends with a period, last two end with an exclamation.

Chapter 9, "Jeannie" - DVD credits spell her name "Genie". Character spellings should probably be checked against the credits as they're introduced.

Just a couple minor nitpicks, but I'm very impressed with the site. Keep it up! ^^

[thebruce]

bah!
1. funnily enough, that's where I made sure I got the wording right... somehow I missed the punctuation
2. I totally forgot which was the way the spell it, didn't even think of it... and that was a point that I used as an "I told you so" too, cuz I first spelled it Genie in the transcripts, and changed it when mass opinion was that it was Jeannie... soon's the credits rolled with the spelling, I smile cuz I was right ah well... stupid memory.

so ya, they're fixed ... tnx

[thebruce]

also just updated the top post with quick links to the contents...

[Scott]

hey lookee there!!

SharP!!!!!!

(see? it's so sharp, it's got double capital letters...)

May i make a suggestion? the bolded axon text is *really* bold.. like, sort of distractingly bold. Like hard-to-read-the-interesting-commentary-and-unique-additions-you-have-given-to-the-plot distractingly bold. I think it's cos it's also in white, really. May i suggest making that only bold, and in the same colour blue as the rest, but yes in bold.

like i suppose killing the line in the HTML which states ' ' .scene b { color: white; } ' ' would do it.

This is but one person's opinion.

[thebruce]

I thought of that... I messed around with some different styling for the two text types... when trying the reading and trying the audio-follow-along, it's really hard to satisfy both... when reading with the audio, it was really hard to jump from line to line the closer the text style is to each other, but, it was easier to read entirely... though now, with a slight bit more difficulty in reading, it's much easier to play the audio and skip the narrative that isn't part of the clip... *shrug* I'll try other style(s) and see if there isn't anything a little easier to read and/or follow along...

tnx fo da FB

[thebruce]

Chapters 10 and 11 are finally up! 2 days late, but they're up!
I'm loving the axon plot... can't get enough of it kudos once again to the actors and writers of 4orty2wo... wow

[StarCreator]

Great job, as usual. I actually missed out on the website scavenger hunt (I was only involved in the later axon hunts, after we started getting live calls), so it's nice to read about how we found all those sites. ^^;

This week's errata, though I wasn't scanning for errors (I'm actually supposed to be studying for my last final right now x_x):

Chapter 11, Jan part 3: a "Right" isn't colored white like it should
Jan part 4: "He was on a role" I'm not familiar with this use of "role", but I've seen "roll" used in this expression
Jan part 4: "gifted youth" should probably be plural
Herzog part 1: "...a candidate" missing end punctuation

Not complaining, but just wanted to help out. ^^; Keep it up!

[thebruce]

ah tnx... love typos... don't be afraid to email or PM though hehe as for youth though, youth could be singular or plural from what I could tell, depending on context I guess... eg I'd say '5 gifted youths won', but I'd also say 'many gifted youth won'... or 'loads of youth come out weekly'... *shrug* not a big deal anyway, it's understood
tnx

[Phaedra]

[thebruce]

how did I know Phaedra would have something to say

now I really want to try to find some explanation or reason or context in which to say youth as a plural noun... you know, like english teachers teach never to start a sentence with 'And' or 'But'... and yet, for instance, Finding Forrester made a good point as to the difference between 'proper' and 'artistic' or something along those lines... a good writer is willing to break rules in order to make a point... or some such statement...

I feel like I want to break a rule here, haha!

[Phaedra]

[thebruce]