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Forum index » Archive » Archive: Chasing the Wish » CTW: Interaction

cold anticipation email from phyllis

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phensley
Decorated

Joined: 11 Apr 2003
Posts: 183

cold anticipation email from phyllis

Dear Pam,
I am sorry if I've worried you. Far from considering suicide, I have
been
examining my life and plotting out how to save myself! I have come to
the
conclusion that I don't like myself very much and it amazes me that
there are
people like yourself who think I have some worth. Because of you and
others, I
have hope that I can find my way out of my current circumstances and
become a
better person.

The poltergeists seem to have lost interest in me and I'm not sure why.
There's
still plenty of damage being done but it's all centered on Douglas. His
level
of negative intensity has gone nuclear, so to speak. He is furtive and
jumpy
and doesn't look me in the eye anymore. It feels like he is a guilty
man
expecting to be caught out. He's grown distant and spends more time in
his City
Hall office than here and that's a relief. At least, when he's gone,
the house
is quiet and I've gotten used to the cold dread. I dare say I've become
one
with it and that may be why it no longer afflicts me. These energies
and I are
all waiting, waiting with cold-hearted anticipation, for what is
coming. I
cannot name it, and only have vague notions as to what it may be, but,
I sense
an upheaval gathering power and when it breaks I think a lot of ugly
secrets
are going to be exposed. I can only hope that my plans will prepare me
to jump
to safety when the time comes.

Yours,
Phyllis

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2003 11:23 am

phensley
Decorated

Joined: 11 Apr 2003
Posts: 183

email from phyllis re:cold anticipation

Dear Pam,
Guilt feelings? hmm... Is the fear of being caught the same as
recognizing that
you are in the wrong? Guilt, to me, has an element of remorse, of
recognizing
that you have committed harm to others. I'm not sure that's what
Douglas is
feeling at the moment. The Marzano's, yes, that's what I'm thinking. I
would
like to hear this man's voice so that I can determine if it is the
voice I've
heard on the telephone... But, I'm almost afraid to know. Do you
understand how
dangerous my situation is? I am not at all sure what is going to
happen. At
this point, I am being so very careful not to draw attention to myself,
not to
find myself called before that investigation. I know nothing really!
Nothing!
Only feelings and dreams and voices on telephones. I have no proofs, no
facts.
Who would believe me anyway?! Half the town thinks I'm a greedy hoaxer
and the
other half thinks I'm a vain dingbat!

Thank you for thinking of me. Knowing that someone out there cares
lifts my
spirit.

Fondly,
Phyllis

Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2003 10:03 pm

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