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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Chasing the Wish » CTW: Interaction
A message to some from Iris
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phensley
Decorated


Joined: 11 Apr 2003
Posts: 183

 		A message to some from Iris
Dear Pam,

Chris and James are kids at heart and sometimes I feel as if I am their
mother, despite their being 10 years older than me. I really do love
them to pieces, but they are too close to me to be anything more than brothers and I am sure you know how obnoxious brothers can be.

Oh, I am used to having spirit in my room and never quite being alone.
Usually it is a comforting feeling to be surrounded by those who move within the light, but lately it has set me on edge. I feel as if I do not know
what is what anymore. Do you know the song called "Unwell" by Matchbox 20? I have been listening to it a lot lately and am really starting to feel much like the person in the song. I feel as if that could be me saying the lyrics to a friend or something. God, I have never had such a problem with reality before, but now I am constantly checking myself to make sure I am centered and
grounded and know what is real and what is not. Of course, I do not know what is real and what is not, so it is a futile exercise and I know it.

No, I have not heard from Mr. Abbott lately. I answered his email a
few days back and have yet to hear from him again. On the other hand, I just today sent an email to Mr. Sprague, as I really think it is about time I
speak to him. Wes seemed to think he would be open to working with me, but I will wait to hear that from him, since Wes has not been the epitome of judgment of late.

Pam, tell me something. What exactly is everyone's stake in all of
this? I had someone today telling me not to trust another person because that person was making disparaging comments about me on some forum or board or other. I am beginning to think that I cannot trust anyone. Heck, people have even suggested to me that Phyllis is not trustworthy because she has been in the control of someone who is clearly working for someone who is a minion of an evil lord. Do you see what I mean about the wildness of these comments? There are a few people whose emails I have just been deleting before I even read them.

Feel free to tell your friends something for me: I am a nice person who
is trying to do her job. It is a lonely, thankless job that does not always pay the bills, but which brings a lot of personal satisfaction and mental
challenge. When Phyllis asked me to work with all of you, I was happy
to do it and hoped that I might even make some friends, so why are you trying to play mind games? I do not know you (though I have tried many times) and you clearly do not know me. You have not even tried. Maybe if you actually had a conversation with me you would not be so quick to pass judgment. Forgive me for saying so, but I already have people in my life who are planning to punish my perceived misdeeds just for trying to help others. I just do not have the patience for your games. You know who you are.

Iris

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 10:30 pm
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MageSteff
Pretty talky there aintcha, Talky?


Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 2716
Location: State of Denial

 		Matchbox 20 lyrics for Unwell
Just so we all know the song Iris is talking about:

Lyrics Copied from
http://www.musiclinks.nl/songteksten/Matchbox_20_Twenty/12075.html


Matchbox 20 Twenty
Unwell

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell


_________________
Magesteff
A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead


PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 10:53 pm
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Sunny du Pree
Unfettered


Joined: 01 Jan 2003
Posts: 636
Location: Push, Nevada

 		Re: A message to some from Iris
phensley wrote:
Dear Pam,

Forgive me for saying so, but I already have people in my life who are planning to punish my perceived misdeeds just for trying to help others. I just do not have the patience for your games. You know who you are.

Iris


I dont blame her for being upset. She has been nothing but forthcoming in her efforts to help Phyllis. She has reported faithfully the visions that she has had and has put her life on the line. She has done nothing thus far but behave ethically in this matter. Why is she being attacked?
_________________
Grace and Peace
Sunny Du Pree
I dreamed a dream and now that dream has come for me

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 10:58 pm
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phensley
Decorated


Joined: 11 Apr 2003
Posts: 183

 		Dear Pam,

Thank you so much for passing along my words and for being honest and
upfront in your dealings with me. I do believe that I can trust you. I
apologize for my lashing out before, but I am tired and someone wrote something that was just very hurtful. I would have ignored it, but this was someone with whom I thought I had formed at least a shallow friendship with. To learn I was wrong just upset me deeply and, I fear, as an emotional being I am not able to just walk away from that sort of behavior. How else will that person learn to treat people better?
This evening, I plan to finish my website update. You would think I
would have finished it before now, but my mind is so easily distracted that I find I start writing and then realize hours have passed and I have not written more than a sentence or two. I have made arrangements to get Chris to post both the update and the video clip from the Lake as soon as he can, but I fear that it will probably be tomorrow before it gets done.

The guys tried to get me to go out looking for the Jersey Devil again
tonight, but I told them no and somehow convinced them that if they wait until tomorrow, I might go with them. I do not know how long I can stall
them, but I really do not think we need to tackle the Jersey Devil when we have so much else on our plates, even if I am the only one seeing most of it.

Again, thank you Pam. I will try to write again in the morning to let you
know that I am still alive and well.

Iris

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 11:45 pm
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Barbarellany
Decorated


Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 245

 		I guess it's not only insider12 who wants to stir problems,

PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2003 12:28 am
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Sunny du Pree
Unfettered


Joined: 01 Jan 2003
Posts: 636
Location: Push, Nevada

 		Email Iris: I apologised for the group and her reply
Dear Sunny,

I was just about to turn my computer off for the night and pull the covers up over my head when your message popped into my mailbox. Thank you for your support. You cannot imagine how much it means to me. What a mess I am! The keys are getting wet, I am crying so hard. I so want you all to like me, but I have to do my job even if that is not the case. No matter the outcome, I will do what I am here to do, but all of this, this whole experience, has made me wonder if I am in need of a new profession. Perhaps I am better at the metaphysical aspect because I am not so good at the human one. Relationships are just not my forte. Heck, my ex-boyfriends would happily tell you all of my faults in that arena.

Oh Sunny, I need a vacation. I am thinking that when this is over, I just
might run away to some tropical location where no one knows me and where I can just sleep on the beach and get a tan.

Iris

Quoting "Prettycolors62@aol.com" :

> Dear Iris
>
> I want to say how sorry I am for the continued abuse that has come from our quarter. Believe me I am not one of your naysayers. I know that you have no reason to trust me but I just wanted to extend my apologies to you for the reprehensible treatment that you have received. I want to thank you for all the help that you have given Phyllis and the help that you have given us. If there is anything that I can do to ease your mind please ask. For what it is worth I think that you are doing an awesome job at a very difficult task and I hope that you can ignore the hatemongers amongst us.
>
> Grace and Peace
> Sunny
>
_________________
Grace and Peace
Sunny Du Pree
I dreamed a dream and now that dream has come for me

PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2003 2:01 am
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