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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Perplex City » PXC: General/Updates
[UPDATE] May 12 - Sentinel - New Article
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Mima
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Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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[UPDATE] May 12 - Sentinel - New Article

Belle Saps Will to Live
By ARLING WILSON

For months, there has been anticipatory buzz surrounding the performance of the classic "Absalom and Tavent" at the Majestic Theatre. Never before has anticipatory buzz been so completely, horrifyingly wrong. It is the most abysmal waste of time and energy that I have ever had the tragic duty to endure, in all my seventeen years with the Sentinel. One actually felt embarrassed on behalf of the cast and crew for bearing witness to this astonishing act of artistic malfeasance. The director should be rounded up and marched sideways off the Diamond Span for actually going through with opening night.


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First we must address the rightfully famous actor Andrew Norman. One expects great things from Mr. Norman, particularly after his dazzling work in "Yonder," "A Cool Season," and "The Reflecting Pool." I would adore to say that he lived up to his prior achievements, or even that he phoned in a mediocre performance as Graham; but either statement would be a flat lie. To say he was derivative of the late, lamented Itza Coronada would be an insult to all of the great performers who have paid homage to her over the years. An original performer might have been forgiven this arrogance. A humble performer might have been forgiven this lack of inspiration. As it was, the performance was a monument to creative incompetence.

The ensemble timing, so critical to this piece, was so wooden that it could have been predicted with a stopwatch. I have seen scenes from this show performed by grammar school children with more dynamic and reactive timing, and with more passionate delivery.

Perhaps most distressingly, the popular chanteuse Aurora Belle, said to be a fine actress, played the role of Carmela. Ms. Belle seemed far more interested in displaying her costly and obvious personal charms, and not in maintaining a pretense that she can, in fact, act. Ms. Belle indulged in a stupendous number of vacuous pauses, during which one can only hope that she was receiving assistance with her forgotten lines. The alternative, that her brain simply ceased to function during the show from time to time, causes one to simply shudder with horror.

Lighting, set design, costuming, blocking? If one were generous, one could call it trite. If one were honest, one would call it soul-deadening.

The one bright spot during this almost indescribably tedious evening was the generously long intermission, which coupled with a well-stocked wet bar in the lobby was the only feeble ray of light that gave one the will to continue to live until the show was blessedly over.

If you somehow feel you must see this magnificent string of failures with your own eyes, the show is running every Wednesday through Friday at 8pm, with 2pm and 7pm performances on Saturday and Sunday. Hurry, it won't be playing long.

PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2005 6:01 am
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StarryNight
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There is also a new headline of note: "open design awarded". Perhaps open design has a new contract? No updates on that web site yet.
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PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2005 8:16 am
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Leeravitz
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As an actor myself, I couldn't help but pick up on the story. Given that the timings offered are so precise, has anybody been checking sites/conducting web searches at the approximate show times given, and come up with anything? My immediate assumption was that if the run won't last long, any messages available might cease broadcasting after, say, a week. Admittedly, this could just be an overreaction to an otherwise straighforward infodump. But I wondered...

There are some real - world theatres called the Majestic, BTW. I think one's in New York. Whether that's any help is another question.
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PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2005 9:33 pm
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DogsHead
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Quote:
The director should be rounded up and marched sideways off the Diamond Span for actually going through with opening night.
It's a bit harsh innit? Also how do you 'round up' one person? Maybe he's a fat bastard. Diamond span? wuh?
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PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:33 pm
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<PSH>
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i'd say it's a bit harsh ... but rounded up atleast in US slang just means captured and while it does ussualy refer to capturing a group of some thing like sheep or cattle it can be aplyed to one person ... and yeah i'd like to see a picture/sketch of this dimond span thing so i can under stand why being marched off of it sideway is diffrent that any other direction...
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 2:41 am
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Seej
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Leeravitz wrote:
There are some real - world theatres called the Majestic, BTW. I think one's in New York. Whether that's any help is another question.

Or perhaps it's just a reference to the original ARG - Majestic

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 6:27 am
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Enigmaster
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Maybe the Diamond Span is a bridge, possibly one like the Mobius Stripe but, er, straight. Or a pier. Chances are we'll know when we see a pic, the name sounds pretty specific.
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 9:26 am
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Leeravitz
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Yes, I guess that's logical. The Mobius Strip is, approximately, the shape of an actual Mobius Strip, so it could well be that the Diamond Span is shaped...er...like a diamond. Maybe if it is a bridge or pier, you could only be marched sideways off it (i.e. if you just went straight forward or back, you'd simply touch down on terra firma on either side of the 'span').

As to the 'harshness' of the suggestion...evidently, in Perplex City, the theatre critic's bitchiness knows no bounds...
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What is the New Nature of the Catastrophe?

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 11:08 am
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Seej
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We're gonna get a map of the city on the back of the cards so I guess we'll see soon enough.

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 11:57 am
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spaceXplorer
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How come we haven't seen any updates to the Sentinel today? Don't we normally at least get an updated Futures section and a new article on a Monday?

Not that my world revolves around PPC or nuthin.... Embarassed .....now, where did i put my life?.....
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 12:02 pm
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Rob_Riv
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spaceXplorer wrote:
How come we haven't seen any updates to the Sentinel today? Don't we normally at least get an updated Futures section and a new article on a Monday?

Not that my world revolves around PPC or nuthin.... Embarassed .....now, where did i put my life?.....


It's not 100% of the time that the updates happen on Monday..

and as for your life.. I think I saw it on ebay
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 5:24 pm
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POTUS
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I'm not the only one thinking pier I guess. I immediately thought of crabs because they can march sideways and the sentence sounds like an allusion to walking the plank, into water. Also the Ruth Coralhouse story fits well with the Achemy Reef seeding in an oceanic context.

Is it possible that the director is multipedal? Some Sentinel readers have extra eyes, maybe extra legs too.

That is however, the cruelest pan I think I have ever read.

Sidenote: eBay now has PC Coasters. Is this someone ripping off mind candy? Funny because earlier today I sent mindcandy an idea about putting PC puzzles on restaurant placemats - like all fine restaurant used to do when I was a kid.
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2005 5:57 pm
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Seej
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POTUS wrote:

Sidenote: eBay now has PC Coasters. Is this someone ripping off mind candy? Funny because earlier today I sent mindcandy an idea about putting PC puzzles on restaurant placemats - like all fine restaurant used to do when I was a kid.


It looks OOG - the seller has sold other things similar to this that have nothing to do with PPC - the last auction by ferrari042 was for a fridge magnet of a UK comedy series that seems to have been made in a similar way.

PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2005 9:59 am
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