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misteraitch
Boot
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 55 Location: Out of his Box!
New Sentinel Article - Mind Candy Flounders July 7, 2005 Mind Candy Flounders
It has been long, long weeks since the announcement of Master of the Academy Sente Kiteway's secretive Cube retrieval plan, following long, long months of mystery. Now that happy day has come and gone, and so we demand to know: Where is this plan now? Why has nothing more happened?
Earth sources tell us that the puzzle cards, keystone to Sente's attention-getting campaign, have simply not appeared in stores. How can Sente's plan possibly be working if it is not actually in action? In short: It can't.
We at the Sentinel have investigated the situation, and have found that the blame lies, surprisingly, not directly with Kiteway himself, but with Mind Candy, the ridiculously inept Earth-based contractors he has hired to dirty their hands in doing his bidding.
A leaked missive from Mind Candy indicated that the fault lies with enigmatic "printer delays," and that the cards are, indeed, forthcoming; but these excuses ring hollow to our ears. The document also suggested that the first cards should be available on July 13. We have no reason to believe this as anything beyond further dissembling.
It is clear that if Mind Candy were serious about fulfilling their end of their contract with the Academy, then they would have taken more serious measures to avoid and circumvent such "printing problems," as feeble an excuse for internal failures as we at the Sentinel have ever heard.
The blame, of course, must inevitably come back to Kiteway. For it was he who chose Mind Candy as his Earth representatives, to execute his retrieval plan. It has become clear to the editorial staff of the Sentinel, over these last months, that the people of Earth are largely well-intentioned, and as a whole more intelligent and insightful than the state of their society might lead one to believe. How, then, is it possible that Kiteway chose the most hebetudinous incompetents available to serve as his hands and eyes on Earth?
The Cube retrieval effort should be removed from Kiteway's hands once and for all, because he has made it absurdly clear that he is not capable of making sharp decisions in the matter, but only of stalling for time. The Receda Cube and the hopes of our city should not have to rely on such fragile and ignoble motivations.
MORE HEADLINES:
Yusef Demands Trust
_________________He made us all to be just like him - so if we're dumb, then God is dumb - and maybe even a little ugly on the side!
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:00 am
number9dream
Decorated
Joined: 22 Apr 2005 Posts: 222 Location: Newcastle, UK
All the levels of 'meta' involved are making my head hurt! Still, looks like a July 13th release date is being promised for the cards
_________________Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 7:29 am
Flidget Jerome
Unfettered
Joined: 26 Aug 2004 Posts: 308
I will love this game forever just for that one article. Funny as hell and probably did more to reconcile me to the idea of Mind Candy being in-game as well as OOG than anything else will ever manage to.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:25 am
cassandra
Entrenched
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 831
Hebetudinous! Fantastic.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:09 am
zaeil
Decorated
Joined: 31 Aug 2004 Posts: 233 Location: NC, US
That article is absolutely priceless!
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:11 am
BrianEnigma
Entrenched
Joined: 05 Oct 2003 Posts: 1199 Location: Pacific Northwest
I was originally going to post a reply along the lines of: "Hey! It's not fair to make up and post joke articles that make fun of people." Then I clicked over to The Sentinel and saw it really *IS* an article over there.
The meta-ness of this is starting to make my head spin.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:14 am
Scott
Entrenched
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 1140 Location: 390 Chestnut Ridge Rd, Rochester NY, 14624, USA
There must be something really wrong with me then, cos i fFollow it perfectly.
good to know: as hard as we are on MC, the perplexians are even harder (you know, until they start Sente bashing).
_________________Perplex City is a game whose only rule is: There must be a party.
Balance of Powers is a game whose only rule is: There must be a political party.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:25 am
sledgecallier
Unfettered
Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 414 Location: Behind the Sofa...
The PC page on the Firebox site has been updated too:
Quote:
We've been informed by Sente that the cards will be made available through nine stores in nine different cities around the world sometime in July 2005. It is our understanding that Firebox will receive stock at or around this time as well.
_________________
SledgeCallier.
'We're gonna need a bigger boat!'
My cards to trade at Perplexcitytrades
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:39 am
tangohead
Veteran
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 73 Location: North West England (Wigan)
its normally others that kick you while your down/ rub salt in the wound but in this case MC have done it to themselves!!!!!
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:02 pm
toongoon
Decorated
Joined: 25 Sep 2002 Posts: 217 Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Seeing as there is no author listed, the use of "hebetudinous", and Violet's admitted love of uncommon vocabulary made me think that this is a may be a direct hint to the author being Violet. Not that it matters, I suppose.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:47 pm
cassandra
Entrenched
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 831
Violet's not on the Sentinel staff, so I doubt it...
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 2:11 pm
JebJoya
Unfettered
Joined: 13 Apr 2005 Posts: 679 Location: UK
Best. Article. Ever.
Jeb
_________________
Jeb's ARG coming Autumn 2007...
Last FM
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 2:14 pm
jokerstrademark
Veteran
Joined: 25 Sep 2004 Posts: 71 Location: Out to Lunch
Ah, finally a game that's bending all the rules. I like how they're going to be able to make announcements and stuff easily with out them seeming misplaced.
_________________Synagoga-Comics
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 2:17 pm
toongoon
Decorated
Joined: 25 Sep 2002 Posts: 217 Location: SF Bay Area, CA
cassandra wrote:
Violet's not on the Sentinel staff, so I doubt it...
Again, not that it matters a one bit, but who said it had to be written by the staff - it doesn't have a staff writer byline either.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 3:21 pm
cassandra
Entrenched
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 831
Re: New Sentinel Article - Mind Candy Flounders 07:06:05
Quote:
We at the Sentinel have investigated the situation...
...as feeble an excuse for internal failures as we at the Sentinel have ever heard.
It has become clear to the editorial staff of the Sentinel, over these last months, that the people of Earth are largely well-intentioned, and as a whole more intelligent and insightful than the state of their society might lead one to believe....
Unless Violet's working undercover investigating her father. Though I doubt she'd have as much time to picnic and break into compounds and such.
Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 3:31 pm
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