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Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » ARG: Aware

E-mail from AChurch - Why!? WHY!?

Page 1 of 1 [8 Posts]

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Mos
Mostly Harmless

Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 117

E-mail from AChurch - Why!? WHY!?

It appears that I have been rejected. I'll see you guys later, I'm going to throw myself off a bridge now.

Quote:

Dear Louis,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough
and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also
failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on
file should an opening become available. So that you may find
better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me
to offer the following reason(s) why you were disqualified from
the competition:

___ You live in Flippin, Arkansas. EDIT: She got the town wrong. So much for her touted information gathering skills!

___ You live in ARKANSAS!

___ You failed the credit check.

___ I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.

___ My life is too complicated right now.

___ It's not you, it's me.

___ I'm concentrating on my career.

___ I'm celibate.

___ Three words: Size does matter. HOW DID SHE FIND OUT ABOUT THIS!?!

Sincerely,

Alecia

> Dear Alecia,
>
> You may not know who I am, but I have been watching you for a very long
> time. Not a night goes by when I do not tremble at the thought of your
> lips
> approaching mine, nor one without me silently whispering your name into
> the
> void which surrounds me. Oh, Alecia! My Alecia! I can not hold it in any
> longer! We must throw away this mask of lies! Alecia, my love for you is
> greater than any ever known, fictional or otherwise! You conquer my
> thoughts
> at every given moment. You are the wind beneath my wings, the warhead
> inside
> my ICBM.
>
> I wait for your response with great anticipation.
>
> Yours,
> Mos
>

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 11:48 am

Mos
Mostly Harmless

Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 117

Some interesting information. The headers follow:

Quote:

X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jGgY02H9eIBuIcUeIjt+JKZ
Received: from cp3.idig.net ([216.187.70.170]) by mc2-f5.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824);
Sun, 16 May 2004 08:38:23 -0700
Received: from koonzee by cp3.idig.net with local (Exim 4.34)
id 1BPNdf-0001DM-S5
for Louis_JoyceSPLAThotmail.com; Sun, 16 May 2004 08:33:19 -0700
Received: from 127.0.0.1 ([127.0.0.1])
(SquirrelMail authenticated user achurchSPLATomniscienteyes.com)
by www.omniscienteyes.com with HTTP;
Sun, 16 May 2004 08:33:19 -0700 (PDT)
Message-ID: <49051.127.0.0.1.1084721599.squirrel@www.omniscienteyes.com>
In-Reply-To:
References:
Date: Sun, 16 May 2004 08:33:19 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: Alecia
From: achurchSPLATomniscienteyes.com
To: "Louis Joyce" <Louis_Joyce@hotmail.com>
User-Agent: SquirrelMail/1.4.0
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;charset=iso-8859-1
X-Priority: 3
Importance: Normal
X-MailScanner-Information: Please contact the ISP for more information
X-MailScanner: Found to be clean
X-MailScanner-From: koonzeeSPLATcp3.idig.net
X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report
X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname - cp3.idig.net
X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - hotmail.com
X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID - [32041 32041] / [47 12]
X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain - cp3.idig.net
X-Source:
X-Source-Args:
X-Source-Dir:
Return-Path: koonzeeSPLATcp3.idig.net
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 16 May 2004 15:38:23.0342 (UTC) FILETIME=[D28830E0:01C43B5B]

We don't need most of this, so let's chop it down to the relevant sections.

Quote:

Now, idig.net is omniscienteyes.com's host. They sent the e-mail to Hotmail. They themselves received the e-mail from "koonzee" locally. In other words, a user named "koonzee" sent it through idig. The last part is what matters. Koonzee sent it via HTTP - in other words, a webform at omniscienteyes.com

Where is a webmail most likely located?

www.omniscienteyes.com/mail

BAM!

..but probably not in-game. Yet.

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 12:36 pm

Mos
Mostly Harmless

Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 117

And it goes on.

Quote:

Louis,

You are correct I did get your city wrong. I had limited time to track you
down and got as close as I could. I am sorry for that slight mistake.

Sorry, I had a momentary flash of compassion. Fortunately, it's passed.

What is this, some sort of dork outreach program? You didn't think your
letters would spiritually move me did you? Oh you did. Isn't that sweet.
Your not going to cry are you?

Alecia

> Dearest Alecia,
>
> I can only assume that some sort of massive mistake has been made. I do
> not
> live in Flippin, Arkansas. You clearly have, therefore, mistaken me for
> someone else. To fully understand the problem, imagine if I claimed you
> lived in Chino Valley, Arizona, and you did not! You would also come to
> the
> same conclusion: that I have been misled and have mistaken you for another
> person.
>
> To make sure such a mistake is not made again, I have uploaded a picture
> of
> myself to a webserver.
>
> http://mos.slyfx.com/mos.jpg
>
> I await your response with much more anticipation.
>
> In Love,
> Mos

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 1:46 pm

Mos
Mostly Harmless

Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 117

I think this will be the last one I will send. I can not hope to top her response this time.

Quote:

Louis,

I admire your tenacity. It seems like you don't give up very easily, but
sometimes no DOES mean no. Are you some kind Submissive Freak? Recently
we have done research on a Philip Vector. I hear he's looking for a
submissive. Maybe you should email him.

Alecia

> My sweet Alecia, dearest of all my friends,
>
> You used the wrong form of "your."
>
> I anticipate your response with the energy of a thousand suns.
>
> Forever in love,
> Mos

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 2:09 pm

LazarusLong
Unfettered

Joined: 20 Mar 2003
Posts: 453
Location: 93 miles SW of Ted Kaczynski's cabin

Mos, these are priceless!

Good thing Alecia seems to have a sense of humor!

Laughing

_________________
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 2:16 pm

MageSteff
Pretty talky there aintcha, Talky?

Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 2716
Location: State of Denial

Mos wrote:

Alecia Church wrote:

... Are you some kind Submissive Freak? Recently we have done research on a Philip Vector. I hear he's looking for a submissive. Maybe you should email him.

<cough, cough, cough>/me runs to the bathroom...

_________________
Magesteff
A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 2:21 pm

Myssfitz
Unfettered

Joined: 26 Feb 2003
Posts: 695
Location: In the pasture

Magesteff wrote:

Mos wrote:

Alecia Church wrote:

... Are you some kind Submissive Freak? Recently we have done research on a Philip Vector. I hear he's looking for a submissive. Maybe you should email him.

<cough, cough, cough>/me runs to the bathroom...

I hope she uses her wrath on him. I will gladly join forces with her for that one. Twisted Evil

_________________
Well, Moo

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 3:22 pm

Mos
Mostly Harmless

Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 117

I sent her this final e-mail, and I just got a reply. I think our relationship might be having problems. Maybe we should seek counselling?

Quote:

First mate Louis of the S.S. Minnow,

I too am reminded of a book. Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars and
Louis is from Uranus.

Your poem burned through me like a hemorrhoid in need of some Preparation
H. Then I realized it was only indigestion from a burrito I ate at
lunch.

Fortunately I am quiet bored with you now. Go and fly away now before I
squash you like a bug.

Alecia

> Captain Alecia, commander of the SS My Heart,
>
> I can not help but think there is something you are trying to communicate
> to
> me. I have read over your messages multiple times, but I can not grasp
> your
> true meaning. I have consulted a book a friend recommended to me, "How Can
> I
> Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women," but
> it
> says nothing about relevant about this kind of situation, except general
> guidelines about expressing one's feelings. I am doing so now, in the form
> of a poem.
>
>
> Alica, you are my Lone Ranger, and I, your trigger.
> I don't know what happened to Tanto. Maybe he's the Lone Ranger's tutor in
> tantra.
> Or maybe he's the cameraman filming it all?
>
> Oh Alecia, you are my density.
> We were made for each other.
> How long must we hold this fortifcation between us?
>
> I long to sit with you and watch Netflix
> Or search distant deserts for big guns like Hans Blix
> I long for the time I can show you my huge Dick
> Cheney poster.
>
> I await your response with utter trepidation.
>
> Longingly yours,
> Mos

Posted: Sun May 16, 2004 3:26 pm

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