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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: Cloverfield (1-18-08) » Cloverfield: Social / OT / Humor
[Humor] First 96 Minutes of "Cloverfield" Preview
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Greenhorn

Joined: 02 Oct 2007
Posts: 4

 		[Humor] First 96 Minutes of "Cloverfield" Preview
I'm an insider from an inside production company. When I say "Ho", JJ Abrams says "Hey". That's how tight we are. I am so on the inside, my bellybutton feels outclassed by my insideness (that's the term we use in LA, actually only us hip people do.).

Anyways, here is how the movie goes down. I've been privileged to see a complete rough cut, with special effects not 100% complete, but what I would say is 69%.

Warning. This DOES contains spoilers, so to all the sensitive types who can't handle movie truth, be warned. This is for the people who know they're pros and got their ABCs down pat. Capisce ?

Ok, here it goes. Fade in. We see a huge hallway. Its deserted and there are papers scattered on the floor. The camera goes down the hallway before we fade to the outside of the building. Its an office building. Its obviously damaged as we can see in the grey afternoon light. We pan down to street level and see a group of marines going by the office building. They're in New York and by the looks of the street something just hit hard. "Hey Searg ! Over here ! I've found something" Lt. Earl Kapinsky, or Kap, shouts as the marines stumble upon a videocamera. They play it and what follows is the movie. A huge monster, the size of two tenniscourts (that is if tenniscourts could be stacked up) appears on the tape. A ginormous roar is heard which sounds terrifying, even through the tiny camera speakers. "Whoa" exclaims Kaplinsky upon hearing this.

It turns out the monster is an enormous monstrosity and is the size of about 1.5 football fields. (if football fields could be halved and somehow stacked up.) It has a skin type structure that acts as a sort of thing which keeps its organs inside. It also has on enormous vertebrae, which now seems hard to find. That is the mission of the marines, to try and find out what happened and try and see if they can find the monster, to smoke it out, so to speak. As they watch the videotape they see the monster thrashing and buckling. Slashing and moroding. The monster is shouting. Its angry. We see it swinging, then it stops for a moment. The marines who are watching relax for a second. But it turns out it just took a break and suddenly its back at it again taking a huge swing at things. Everything is back in chaos now. Excrement is really hitting the fan now. Helicopters explode. A tank tries to drive up the monsters foot, but fails. A subway car comes off the railing and lands right on the monster's shoulder. The videocamera is now inside the subway car, the passengers are terrified, and we see a close-up of the hideous monster's skin and face. To describe it would be too horrible. Just think of a monster type thing and multiply that by a thousand. Then, you would reach about 30% of the monster's monstrosity.

Then other stuff happens.

I hope this summary wasn't too brutal. I know it can be hard, knowing everything about it, but that's basically how it goes down, plotwise. There is a side plot having to do with Rob coming to terms with his stalling career as a marketing consultant and finding himself by going through these events with his girlfriend. She helps him sort through his realization that he was only trying to please his father with a business career when what he really wanted to do was work with wildlife. Even though its only a sideplot, there are some stunning performances of Rob emotionally sharing with his girlfriend while simultaneously a tanks explodes in the background. Heart rendering stuff and because of this there are even rumors of top positioning for awards season next year...

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:17 pm
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Everything's Magic
Unfettered


Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 491
Location: Michigan

 		DAMMIT!!!!!

YOU SPOILED THE WHOLE MOVIE FOR ME.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:19 pm
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Climhazzurd
Veteran


Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 91

 		lollersauce

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:50 pm
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sami_kaye
Unfettered


Joined: 12 Oct 2007
Posts: 382
Location: Moncton

 		fabulous

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:55 pm
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HerOdyssey
Decorated


Joined: 17 Sep 2007
Posts: 276
Location: Oregon
Quote:
To describe it would be too horrible. Just think of a monster type thing and multiply that by a thousand. Then, you would reach about 30% of the monster's monstrosity.


LAWLZ!!!



I'm probably going to get yelled at for the image... but it was to cute not to add.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:25 pm
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Leyton Stone
I Have No Life

Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 2302
Location: London (NOT Ontario!)

 		Ignore this post. It would have made more sense had I not just skimmed the work Twisted Evil

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:48 pm
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m0r1arty
Unfettered


Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 337

 		2 posts
???
Due to the novelty factor I like this - cheers.

-m0r

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:49 pm
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Lambo_Diablo_Svtt
Entrenched


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 914

 		uhm dude... your an idiot. Reliable sources say the movie is only 90 minutes long, not 96. Therefore you fail.

...


...


[/sarcasm]
Laughing lawlz at the post though. Very Happy

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:42 pm
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Kitsuhime
Boot


Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 56
Location: VA Beach

 		Wow, guys, it's gotta be legit. I mean that whole thing about the Marines was't even IN the trailer!

Wink

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:45 pm
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