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Nighthawk

[HUMOR] Cloverfield: The Abridged Script

**Posted:** Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:57 pm

Magejutsu · Decorated Joined: 24 Jan 2008 Posts: 166 Location: USA

lol my favorite part is when rob starts heading for the store

CAMERA-HUD: Rob, dude! Now is not the time to snag a Wii!

loved it g00d job.

**Posted:** Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:24 pm

Nighthawk

Well I didn't write it, but thanks I guess. Razz

**Posted:** Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:17 pm

BrilliantGreen2 · Greenhorn Joined: 24 Jan 2008 Posts: 3

That was Hysterical Very Happy

Ive sent it to most of my friends now.
I had to deal with pre-teen guys, being a guy (15) i could understand it, but my female freind(16) was about to tear of their reproductive organs and step on them.ew.
Anyways, thank you for finding that

**Posted:** Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:36 pm

Toilet Explorer

Haha, that was awesome.

[Rob strikes up another song in the key of Beth minor.]

DARWIN: FIREPROOF IMPLAUSIBILITYSMASH!

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:33 am

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OliMango · Entrenched Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 1189 Location: Vegas

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:04 am

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OliMango · Entrenched Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 1189 Location: Vegas

NEWS ANCHOR: I understand that we're now seeing the creature�

SERGEANT SOMEONE: � using this skyscraper as a scratching post, yes. We've sent out for some catnip and a very large ball of yarn, which should be here momentarily. With any luck, we may be able to trade a flea dip for the safety of OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY VISCERAAAARRRRGHHHHASLDKFJASLDFKJ!

[Giant spiderlice jump off the monster and snarfle the soldiers on TV into itty bitty pieces.]

NEWS ANCHOR: � And now, back to John with the weather.

WEATHERMAN: Well, I'm seeing a 100% chance of GIANT FUCKING MONSTERS, Roma.

Oh, Jesus Christ. This guy is a genius.

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:09 am

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Toilet Explorer

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:10 am

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"What is that?"
"Another thing... also terrible."
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eliwein

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:12 am

Lambo_Diablo_Svtt · Entrenched Joined: 18 Aug 2007 Posts: 914

"Apparently the production crew referred to the monster as "Clover," but we're going to call it Darwin, because it single� six-handedly removes a large amount of stupid from the gene pool."

LAUGHING
MY
F'ING
ASS
OFF!!!

**Posted:** Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:13 pm

underwaterdonkey

LMFAO at:

[EXPLOSIONS!]

JASON [inside]: Turn on the TV! They always have news reports about exactly what you want to know!

NEWS ANCHOR: We're hearing that earthquakes are rocking the city�

LILY: Should we go stand in some doorways, or go to the basement?

MARLENA: I don't know, I'm not from California.

NEWS ANCHOR: ... capsizing an oil tanker�we bring you live footage now�

ROB: Dude! I bet we can watch from the roof in perfect comfort and safety!

I'd love to see someone take clips from the movie and change the audio to someone reading this. I can just imagine Darwin screaming Fireproofimplauseabilitysmash as he swipes the chopper out of the air...

**Posted:** Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:48 pm

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