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 Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » ARG: Purity Towers
[EMAIL] Earl's 'Mystery Bride' - Bertha Effenberger
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SituationNoir
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Joined: 14 Jan 2008
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[EMAIL] Earl's 'Mystery Bride' - Bertha Effenberger

Right, so I sent an email through to Earl and Randy as Bertha Effenberger, Earl's mystery bride:

Quote:
Hi Earl...

I'm SO GLAD I found you!!!!!! One of my friends found your new website and I totally freaked out!!!! I mean, you probably don't remember me...it's been sooooo long and I'm sure you've met so many other girls by now, you know...what with everythings that been going on...and what happened between us...I don't blame you for wanting to move on...

Oh Earl! I'm so sorry I left you! You have to understand that for a small town girl like me...it just all too much! I've admired you for so long, I couldn't imagine you being interested in a girl like me! You deserve the best and I want to be the best, you know?
I've taken some time and really done some soul searching...I took a really good hard look at myself! I want love you like the flower craves the rain! I want to devote my entire life to you and your happiness!

I want to help you suceed Earl, my love! I want to be your one and only wifey! Forever and always!

You coming back to me is against the odds, I know. But its a chance I have to take. Without you, my life has no meaning! I KNOW this is love Earl. What we have is more than just a brief fling or a cheap, drunken vegas wedding! The vows we made in front of that Elvis Impersonator, mean more to me now than anything! My story begins and ends with you Earl. Only you.

YOU HAD ME AT HELLO!
Please Earl, I beg you, don't slay me....with goodbye.
Yours Forever,
Bertha Effenberger


Today I got an email back from Randy:

Quote:
Bertha,

This is Randy (the other fella from the video).

Earl's been getting some pretty weird emails lately. I'll pass this message on to him, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna freak him out. Lots of folks are pointing him in all kinds of directions to find his wife.

I'm on your side here. That guy needs a wife, and you seem pretty eager to be her. Eager enough to marry him in front of Elvis, at least. That's gotta mean somethin'.

Here's what I think you should do: Write him one of them real sweet love letters. He always gets into that sissy crap, no matter how manly he acts in our videos. Then read it on YouTube. He's always on there (that's the genius of it).

Send me that link and I'll make sure he goes to it.

Best of luck,
Randy

P.S. Your name is pretty awesome


SO: I'm all up for making a youtube video...but all ideas are welcome....where to from here?

PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:30 pm
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Greginvan
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Joined: 13 May 2007
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ummmm... If I was you, I'd be getting a nice purdy dress.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:01 am
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SituationNoir
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Joined: 14 Jan 2008
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And we have a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDaCucggppA

Entitled: A Letter to Earl

Let's hope he can find it in his heart to forgive his Bertha...

PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:03 pm
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Amaryllis
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Noir. You are my hero.

Seriously.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:27 pm
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Rosemarie_Weissenfeld
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Noir is made of awesome, maybe you could do a series of videos to Earl...really draw him in.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:29 pm
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Thunderwolf
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SUPOIB!
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:49 am
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amandel
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Dusty_Ashes wrote:
Noir is made of awesome, maybe you could do a series of videos to Earl...really draw him in.

Screaming Ditto. Ditto
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:44 am
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Tresbien
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Only the blackest of hearts would not be moved by your deep devotion noir. Echoing awesome!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:13 am
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PinkCloud
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super!! well done noir! if that doesnt melt Earls heart, then I don't know what.
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:00 pm
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SituationNoir
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Quote:
Bertha,

You done real good. When he found your video he came runnin' to show me. I know it's weird to hear this about your own husband, but I think he has the hots for you.

Anyhow, he was real moved by your love letter. He's plannin' a special response for you. It should be ready real soon.

Of course, I don't know how soon y'all will get back to bein' married and all. The soap does come first around here, and with this big new contract he's been nearly obsessed with gettin' our first delivery ready to go.

Keep your eyes peeled for his response!

Best,
Randy



Update: Earl's letter to Bertha <3 Everybody say Awwww....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdU50L1DpXg

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:55 pm
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Amaryllis
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Awww! <33

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:41 am
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SituationNoir
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Joined: 14 Jan 2008
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Based on Earl's reply yesterday, I've set up a twitter account for Bertha, it seems as though thats the only direct line of contact we have to Earl at the moment. She's sent him a few messages already. Her username is EarlsGirlB3

I've also sent an email to Earl at the stickyitchers email address, that's the only one I have for him at the moment, asking if Bertha can talk to him privately about, personal, private, husband and wife type things. Assuring that it's not that she doesn't like Randy, just that she's a bit shy and thinks theres some things that should be discussed privately.

So I'm waiting on a reply to those. I've asked if Earl has his own email etc or if there's some way that Bertha and Earl can talk one on one - fingers crossed!

Update:


Quote:
Hey Bertha!

This is my own personal e-mail address. You don't have to worry about Randy gettin' in our husband and wife stuff. I sure am glad you liked my video last night. So what kinda stuff do you wanna talk about now that it's just us talkin. I gotta make this e-mail short right now cause me and Randy are getting ready for our delivery to Purity towers on Thursday. I hope to hear back soon!

With fondest love,

Earl


Quote:
Oh thankyou Earl ^.^
I have so much I want to talk you about, so many plans and so many questions just about you! And I wanna answer all yours! But there's something thats been on my mind that I wanna tell you about first.

I have something to confide in you about...It's important, I mean, it's important to me. I don't know if it'll be important to you, you have your own mind and I respect your opinions on things and all that, in fact I WANT your opinions on things. Your advice would mean alot to me...I've never really been in a situation like this before and I'm worried about everything.

I have some friends here in town...they're not very well off really and the place they've come from doesn't sound too nice. When they first arrived here they were real messed up, so everyone got together to make them comfortable like and get them settled and all. Anyways, I got talking to one of them. This girl, her name was MK I think and she started telling me all about where she used to live, before she got away and everything. She's real nice Earl, I'd love for you to meet her, she's really smart and I've learnt all sorts of things from her.
Her old place though, it sounds terrible. She said she was Grotian. I've never heard of Grotians, but I've never really been too far outside my town. Vegas was the furthest away I've ever been (which why it was so nice to meet you, I was real nervous being away from home and all ^.^ You made me feel safe and warm and yeah..^.^). Some of the boys, well, they seemed pretty sweet on her (we don't get many outsiders here) so they got it into their heads that they'd try and help her out. She still has family and friends back there I think. So they're all involved with these people called the Grotian Underground. It's all real dramatic like. I think it's awfully brave for them to try and help like that, I'm doing my best...we've been making posters and things, but I'm not very brave I don't think (I'm real glad you are...^.^).

Here's the thing Earl, I just found out something terrible. These Grotians....they live underneath Purity Towers. Well, atleast were Purity Towers is. And, apparantly, according to what the rest of the towns been sayin, they're like slaves. Some of them don't even know what the sun looks like! Or trees or corn fields or lakes or anything! I can't imagine not knowing that. I'd hate it...but I guess if they don't know it they can't hate not knowin it, but I think it's unfair. And your going there Earl! These Purity Towers folk don't sound like very nice people and I know you and Randy are real keen to get in there and do your thing and I don't want to stop you, but I'm worried! Real worried! And somehow the boys have found out your headin over there and they want you to put these posters around and I said Well HELL NO. I am NOT asking my HUSBAND to put himself into DANGER for ME.

I couldn't ask it of you Earl. No matter how important it might or how sorry I feel for these people, I don't want you putting your life in danger because of some silly thing I got myself into. I didn't want Randy to see this because of what happened to him....I watched the video! And I met you in Vegas! I know how upset you were without him and he's so impulsive, you know? Your level headed and I knew you wouldn't go jumping into something, but Randy he's so eager to get involved with things and do whatever he can and...well, I don't want you to lose him again! So the less people that know about all this the better. I don't want people gettin hurt.

I feel so silly Earl. I thought I could do something but, I can't really do anything at all. I just wish you were here so I could be sure you're safe. I know stickyitchers means alot to you, so you do what you gotta do, but please be careful! And don't you even go considering doing that poster thing! Forget I even mentioned it! It's a stupid, dangerous idea and not worth the risk AT ALL.
I love you Earl. Ever so. And I'm sorry I troubled you with all this nonsense when we should really just be planning our future together. I just didn't know who else to go to. I hope you're not too dissapointed in me Sad
Love Always,
Bertha <3



Quote:
Oh Bertha!

That sounds awful what you told me about. I hate it when regular people get hurt. I'm glad to know you're good hearted enough to try to take care of them. If you think it's a worthy cause then I do too!

Don't you worry your cute blond head about asking me to do stuff for you. I'd do anything for you! You tell me how to join your grotian underground and you send me the posters you want hung. There ain't nothin too dangerous that I wouldn't do for my wife!


I hope to hear back soon!

-Earl


We need posters People! ^.^

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:58 pm
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