unforum

[DoctorOdd]

(I can't be sure if the people who make this series frequent these forums, but the recent changes in story direction have led me to believe that they may occasionally listen in.)

Dear maker of TribeTwelve,

Please stop using your marble hornets-esk text card sections to tell us what happened in the video. "He was acting demented..." We know. We just saw it. It's sort of like you're insulting our intelligence. "Did you guys catch that? Here, let me just tell you because you're slow and wouldn't make connections like that."

Also your text cards are exposing your continuity issues. Using the same example, in your opening section you explained that your family had already told you that he was senile, so you knew he was a bit crazy before you even went into the house. The "he was acting demented" line makes it sound like you had never even considered the idea that a crazy man could at some point start acting crazy. You later mention that you don't know why he would know you would be in New York. He's following your videos and twitter account, so it wouldn't be that hard for him to figure out that you are going to be in New York for Milo's funeral. Please take some time to analyse the given circumstance and stick to them when writing the script. Details are what make or break these kind of things. They're what suck your audience in or tear them out.

You need a peer editor of some sort, preferably someone who is acquainted with script writing and story structure, but is not part of the crew. I'll volunteer if you are really desperate. I'm interested in seeing where this is going, but continuity issues will kill any story line. Please find someone. I see a sparkle of potential here, you just need someone to help you make it shine.

Sincerely,
Zeke Stewart

[Magus00]

*Gets on soap box*

Frankly, I think the TT guys are doing a bang up job. Sure, there are some things here and there but I must ask; How much ya paying for it?

This dude clearly paid for a dang plane ticket for our entertainment. I understand that he might have been going somewhere anyway but I still feel the TT guys need some love for keeping us entertained for FREE. Noah, if you are reading these, please don't get discouraged.

[Norrior]

[DoctorOdd]

It's criticism not arrogance. I'm not saying I'm an expert in script writing, but these are things they should have noticed before posting if they had just taken their time. I am an actor and a writer, so I do analyse these things rather harshly, so please forgive me if I come off as stern.

I did not mean to discourage them in anyway. I actually really liked this particular entry. I probably should have mentioned more positives in my last post. I'm sorry. I'm very tired and sickly feeling, so I guess I just got on a little bit of a tirade.

I noticed that in this piece they went back to Slendy's roots rather than to Marblehornets, which I loved. The first shot (a suburban area with a never ending row of trees) I thought was a great nod to what was in my opinion one of the best slender images ever created. It is also reminiscent of the first shot in the series, possibly signifying the concept of rebirth, of new life, the beginning of a new direction.

They seemed to have realized that they were being called a "marblehornets clone" and decided to change that. I liked what they did with the story. I was just hoping they'd also polish the text a bit more.

[Magus00]

[DoctorOdd]

[SickSlickMan]

Yeesh, am I the only one here who agrees with DoctorOdd's criticisms? O.O

[Trygon]

Well, it seems silly to blow your balls now, when they are actually showing signs of improvement. It would have been warranted earlier, but the TT crew are taking it somewhere.

[Guest]

These are my first thoughts and maybe I'm a little IG with my theories:
This makes me think about the last two posts of Seeking Truth where Zeke talks about human proxies where SM tries to communicate with his victims.
I think the grandfather was used as a proxy because of the information he shouldn't know and because he tries to scare Noah away. The latter can be explained by the fact that Noah is as of yet not a target but if he goes further with investigating that he will become a target. Just like Zeke from Seeking Truth.

Knowing more about the SM will make him come after you more badly.

[Drewsko]

I noticed something when I was watching this new video. I was going through the original topic on the Something Awful forums not too long ago, and I think I read a Slenderman Story where a Nazi soilder comes out to Slenderman's witnesses and tells them "he is coming." That showed up again in this latest video. Can anyone back up my suspision?

[Docjowles]

[PKthe13th]

I also find it rather odd that this game brings up Der Grossman at the same time that EMH does.

@Docjowles: There were a lot of stories like that in the original thread.

[Deimos]

[Docjowles]

Before anyone calls me out on it, I'm not accusing TribeTwelve of plagiarizing or anything. Hell for all I know he's the one who wrote that post! Back when that thread was active people said it would be cool if the Slenderman mythos took off and spread across the internet. Well, it's happening I just thought it was interesting. I'll have to re-read the whole thread when I have time to get some foreshadowing hints.

[Badgerconda]