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[Tharol]

Think could end Jay and Jessica leave in the car people.

[ReverendJ]

[Tharol]

Think movie in three deminsion personal.

[Owlish]

These are all such funny posts, I wish I could quote them all.

Okay, if MH was a big budget Hollywood horror movie, it would require the following:

1) Lots of Twitching. You apparently can't have a horror movie anymore without everyone twitching in high speed. Slenderman twitches through space. The main characters twitch when under Slender influence.

2) The Mirror Shot. Someone mentioned Slendy in the backseat when Jay gets in his car, and this is kind of like that. The shot would be one of the main characters, say, coughing up blood in a bathroom sink. S/He searches through the medicine cabinet for some medicine. On shutting the mirrored door, SLENDY APPEARS IN THE REFLECTION. Because this has NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE AND NO ONE WILL EXPECT IT.

3) The SSSHHHHNNNK Noise. Whenever something scary happens, a loud noise like a knife being sharpened has to play. Because otherwise you won't know it's scary.

4) Cheap Emotional Filler. All characters must, at some point, refer in a highly emotional manner to a past relationship or instance. All character relationships must be intensified. Jay and Alex are no longer passing acquaintances, but were childhood best friends. Tim was also a best friend. There could be a love triangle between Alex, Jay and Jessica. Jessica and Tim were best friends, but Jessica could never reciprocate Tim's romantic feelings because she fell for Alex at first site, then left him for Jay. There should be something about dead relatives. Each character gets one emotional freakout, not Slender related, in the film. Quotes should include, "I DID IT ALL FOR YOU," "YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING" and "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME." This will stand in for actual character development.

5. One-liners. The dialog will mainly consist of witty one-liners. Numerous jokes will be made about the Operator's lack of face. Extra points if the one-liners reference other movies, like "YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE A FACE, BUT YOU ARE ONE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER," or "HEEEEEERE'S ALEX!" Jessica will not have any. She'll just scream.

6. Tacked-On Operator Backstory. You can't have a cheesy Hollywood horror movie that leaves room for speculation because modern audiences don't like to think. Therefore, the Operator will have a simplistic backstory and agenda shoehorned in. He's a demon, or an alien, or a ghost, and he has a clear agenda, making the plot devolve into a basic good vs. evil storyline. There should also be excessive flashbacks detailing the Operator's origins.

7. Jessica's Wardrobe. Jessica should always be wearing a skimpy outfit, without regard for practicality. On encountering her in the hotel, for example, Jay should find her wearing a belly-baring tank top and a pair of short shorts with something clever, like JUICY or PINK written across the butt.

8. Token POC. Every Hollywood movie needs a token person of color, and this person should be expendable and characterized solely by stereotypes. Beardy or one of the other original MH cast members could fill this role.

9.McGuffin. There must be some object or person that can, for no real reason, hold the key to the salvation of the MH universe. This can easily be "the Ark," and everyone must race to obtain this object or person to either destroy or save life as we know it.

10.Special Effects Gorging. Wherever a ham-fisted, CG effect can be inserted, it will. The movie will also be released in 3D. Of course.

11. Action-Driven Climax. The film has to end with a loud, explosive showdown, where all the cheesy special effects and the McGuffin come together in an orgasmic conclusion. Lots of yelling, Jessica in peril, and a clever move made by Jay to save the day, with Jessica in his arms.

12.Soundtrack. A derivative classical score, lots of strings, peppered liberally with moody alt-pop that 13-year-olds will recognize immediately.

[dinorobo]

[Tharol]

Check Wilhelm Scream and False Scare for people.

[Zarggg]

[dinorobo]

I know I've been on tumblr too much today when I read the above post an instantly try to reblog it.

[AngryDeepground]

People, stop giving them ideas.

[SecretPerson]

[Flyleaf(IntoTheMist)Wolfi]

[ThinSuit]

Daniel Craig as jay.


Not sayin Daniel Craig is a bad actor though

[Tharol]

Check the line Jessica you tearing me aparts video.

[Owlish]

[Zarggg]