View topic - The Matrix: Rejected

unforum
a.r.g.b.b

Welcome!

New users, PLEASE read these forum guidelines. New posters, SEARCH before posting and read these rules before posting your killer new campaign. New players may also wish to peruse the ARG Player Tutorial.

All users must abide by the Terms of Service.

Website Restoration Project

This archiving project is a collaboration between Unfiction and Sean Stacey (SpaceBass), Brian Enigma (BrianEnigma), and Laura E. Hall (lehall) with
the Center for Immersive Arts.

Announcements

This is a static snapshot of the
Unfiction forums, as of
July 23, 2017.

This site is intended as an archive to chronicle the history of Alternate Reality Games.

Our Esteemed Contributors

The time now is Wed Nov 13, 2024 2:37 am
All times are UTC - 4 (DST in action)

View posts in this forum since last visit
View unanswered posts in this forum

Calendar

Forum index » Meta » Various & Sundry

The Matrix: Rejected
Moderators: Giskard, imbri, ndemeter

Page 1 of 1 [6 Posts]

Author

Message

vpisteve
Asshatministrator

Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2441
Location: 1987

The Matrix: Rejected

Since we're talking about the Matix in another thread, thought you'd find this, um, interesting.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html

Unbelievable. Absolutely. Unbelievable.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 2:04 pm

Wolf
Decorated

Joined: 26 Sep 2002
Posts: 292

Quote:

Aaliyah and Gloria Foster were unceremonially dropped after shooting some scenes for the sequel. What's wrong, guys? They didn't test well with the predominantly white Matrix audiences?

Neither actress could be reached for comment.

I, for one, am glad this crackpot didn't get a quote from Aaliyah, although it wouldn't surprise me to see him make one up.

Hard to say anything critical when you're dead, you know.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 2:38 pm

Valas
Unfettered

Joined: 04 Apr 2003
Posts: 326

Oh.. I don't know. He's rather funny.. In the same way that a person who's talking BS (and everybody else knows it), but doesn't realize it him/herself is funny.

Code:

# The aborted American dream

Warner Bros. devoted $300 million to the production of the two Matrix sequels.

In the time the films have been in production, over one thousand American children will have died of starvation. For the cost of these films, each of those children could have been given one million dollars.

Now I must admit that my own math skills are far from adequate, but even I know that 300,000,000 divided by 1,000 does not equal a million each, but a mere 300,000.

Code:

# Reloaded Ridiculousness

Think you're missing something special by staying home? Think again. Several times in the sequel Neo is seen flying at almost supersonic speeds. NASA experiments prove that such a velocity would tear a man's genitals off.

He's overlooking a)Keanu Reeves doesn't have any genitals to be torn off Wink

j/k, b)it's a movie so bending physics can be excused, c)the flying bits happen in an artificial enviroment in which Neo has complete control over the laws of physics, rendering him capable of ignoring them. It's like (With my apologies to any religious folks) a person telling Jezus that he can't walk on water. A complete waste of time, he can do as he please, so stop your whimpering that he's not supposed to do that.

Code:

# By their fruits ye shall know them

I had attended a showing of The Matrix in May of 1999 with a lady friend, because we are both big Morgan Freeman fans. An hour into the film, as I observed what dreck we were wading in, I walked up and stood before the screen and tried to explain to the audience that this vomitus was below their dignity.

I was greeted by some of the most vulgar insults imaginable, until some began throwing objects and one man even knocked my pipe from my hand. Do you wish to be associated with a group of such character?

# By their fruits ye shall know the staff, too

After the above incident, I was the one asked to leave.

Guess he's never heard of disturbing the peace or violating the rules of the establishment permitting them to remove unruly customers. Namely those interrupting the viewing pleasure of the other customers.

Code:

# The Matrix: Reconsidered further

If you need to get in touch with a person, you can simply call them at their office. You do not need to actually mail the phone to them.

Guess he's never heard of implementing anti-tracing material in a phone. Or frequency encryption to ensure that no one else is listening in..

Code:

# The Matrix: Reconsidered further still

Bullets travel at over 900 feet per second. I don't care how fast Agent Smith and his friends pulled their triggers in that hallway, their bullets would not travel in a tight pack like that. It takes a tenth of a second for an automatic to recycle itself, meaning that by the time the second round left the barrel, the first bullet would be 90 feet away.

You should have heard my gales of laughter upon seeing this scene during my second viewing of the film. I fully expected the audience around me join in the derision, and when they did not I walked up and down each row, leaning over each seat and howling my gales of mockery right in their faces.

Once more, the staff removed me from the theater, rather than doing the proper thing and removing the film from the theater. Ridiculous.

So he goes to another cinema, to again see a movie, that he himself loathes, he then again proceeds to harrass the other customers, and he does not understand why he's kicked out again?? Laughing

Code:

# By their fruits ye shall know them: Reloaded

Average I.Q. of the common Matrix fan: 91. That's fifteen points below average, folks.

Actually the dead center in average IQ measurements is 100, 110 is the bright average, 90 is the slow average. Not sure where he gets his 106 from.. *shrugs* Doesn't really matter anyway, considering the other things he's spewing..

Code:

Sign Dr. Oxford's Petition. It is my understanding that if I can get 5,000 signatures, Warner Brothers will not release the films.

He thinks that WB is going to be interested by 5,000 signatures, when they've already spent all that money?? Shocked

Code:

# Hacker heroes? 2

Computer nerds are heroes? The good ones are listed among an elite, chosen few?

That's odd, because I mastered the complex code it took to format this web page in half an hour. I guess that means I'm The One!

Oh?? Master it?? care to explain this then??

Code:

# Bullet holes, plot holes>>The character "Morpheusbrcellspan=22 colum=49 function resizeWinnewLoc, newHeight, newWidth) newWin = open("",newLoc,"scrollbars=no,resizable=no,status=no,height=" + newHeight + ",width=" + newWidth);
negroes are known for their(URLpopupWindow = window.openURL,"lobby",width=608,height=408,scrollbars=no,resize=no" if document.images) { begin --!> a1on = new Image() a1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_mac_micro_ovr.gif'; b1on = new Image() b1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_small_ov.gif'; c1on = new Image()
while his taut buttocksc1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_med_ovr.gif'; d1on = new Image() d1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_large_ovr.gif'; e1on = new Image() Bill and Tede1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_mac_ultra_ovr.gif'; f1on = new Image() f1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_pc_micro_ovr.gif'; g1on = new Image() g1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_small_ovr.gif'; h1on = new Image() h1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_med_ovr.gif'; i1on = new Image() i1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_large_ovr.gif';
revive a person simply by talking to themj1on = new Image() j1on.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_pc_ultra_ovr.gif'; aoff = new Image() aoff.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_mac_micro.gif'; boff = new Image() boff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_small.gif'; coff = new Image() coff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_med.gif'; doff = new Image() doff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_large.gif'; eoff = new Image() eoff.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_mac_ultra.gif'; foff = new Image() foff.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_pc_micro.gif'; goff = new Image() goff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_small.gif'; hoff = new Image() hoff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_med.gif'; ioff = new Image() ioff.src = '../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_large.gif'; joff = new Image() joff.src = '../rl_img/trailer2_dl_pc_ultra.gif'; function swapem(iname, gname) { iname.src = gname.src; function blank_image() { this.src =''; return this; if navigator.appName=='Netscape' && navigator.
appVersion.substring(0,1)>2 || navigator.appName=='Microsoft Internet Explorer'
&& navigator.appVersion.substring(22,23 } //-- ]
]
eta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;
charset=iso-8859-1" script> meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;
charset=iso-8859-1"scrip var backgr1="../rl_img/trailer_final_bkg_squid.jpg" var backgr2="../rl_img/trailer_final_bkg_trinity.jpg" var backgr3="../rl_img/trailer_final_bkg_bike.jpg" var backgr4="../rl_img/trailer_final_bkg_trinity.jpg"

var cur=Math.round(6*Math.random()) if (cur<=1)
backgr=backgr3 else backgr=backgr4
document.writebody background="'+backgr+'" M
bgcolor="#000000">') script ABLE WIDTH="500" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"
HEIGHT="454" ALIGN="CENTER"> TR> TD width="220" HEIGHT="400" ROWSPAN="2" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP
HREF="http://www.apple.com/quicktime" TARGET="_blank"> WIDTH="220" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPAD
DING="0" ALIGN="LEFT" HEIGHT="425">

width="180" HEIGHT="300" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP"
>IMG SRC=/rl_img/trailer_blank.gif" WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="300">TD>
TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" HEIGHT="125"TD>
M
/TD> TD HEIGHT="25" ALIGN="left" COLSPAN="3" VALIGN="TOP" align="right"IMG SRC="../rl_img/trailer_downloads_bar.gif" WIDTH="290" HEIGHT="25">/div/TD> TD HEIGHT="379" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" WIDTH="26">
IMG SRC="../rl_img/trailer_dl_rod.gif" WIDTH="26" HEIGHT="379"/TD>
TD width="136" HEIGHT="379" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP"A
HREF="http://progressive1.stream.aol.com/wb/gl/
wbonline/progressive/thematrix/us/med/trailer_final_320_dl.sit" TARGET="_self"

.
ONMOUSEOVER="swapem(b, b1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(b, boff);"C="../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_small.gif" WIDTH=
"130" HEIGHT="76" NAME="b" BORDER="0">
/A>A HREF="http://progressive1.stream.aol.com/wb/gl/wbonline
/progressive/thematrix/us/med/trailer_final_480_dl.sit" TARGET="_self" ONMOUSEOVER="swapem(c,
c1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(c, coff);">

IMG SRC="../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_med.gif" WIDTH="130"
HEIGHT="76" NAME="c" BORDER="0">
/AA HREF="http://progressive1.stream.aol.com/wb/gl/wbonline/pr
ogressive/thematrix/us/med/trailer_final_640_dl.sit" TARGET="_self" ONMOUSEOVER="swapem(d,
d1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(d, doff);">mg src="../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_mac_large.gif" width="130" height="76" name="d" border="0">
/A>M

/TD> TD HEIGHT="379" ALIGN="left" VALIGN="TOP" WIDTH="134">A HREF="http://progressivip" TARGET="_self" ONMOUSEOVER="swapem(g,
g1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(g, goff);">MG SRC="../rl_imgHEIGHT="76" BORDER="0" id="g"
A

HREF="http://progressive1.stream.aol.com/wb/g
l/wbonline/progressive/thematrix/us/med/trailer_final_480_dl.zip" TARGET="_self" ONMOUSEOVER="
swapem(h, h1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(h, hoff);"> SRC="../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_med.gif"
NAME="h" WIDTH="130" HEIGHT="76" BORDER="0" id="h">
/A>
HREF="http://progressive1.stream.aol.com/wb/gl/wbonline/
progressive/thematrix/us/med/trailer_final_640_dl.zip" TARGET="_self" ONMOUSEOVER="swapem(i,
i1on);" ONMOUSEOUT="swapem(i, ioff);">IMG SRC="../rl_img/trailer_fnl_dl_pc_large.gif" NAME="i" WIDTH="130" HEIGHT="76" BORDER="0" id="i">

/A href="http://www.apple.com/quicktime" target="_blank">img src="../rl_img/trailer_download_qt.gif" width="80" height="125" border="0"a> >
/TR>>COLSPAN="4" HEIGHT="50">IMG SRC="
../rl_img/wwwthematrix.gif" WIDTH="500" HEIGHT="50" ALIGN="TOP">/TDdiv align="right"div> div align="left" href="../rl_cmp/reloaded_trailer_640.html"
"call home on the bonerphone"target="trailer1" onClick="resizeWin('trailer1',450,700)" o
nMouseOver="swapem(d, d1on);" onMouseOut="swapem(d, doff);" ]
]
]
]
]
]
]
]
]
]

Doesn't look like Mastery to me.. Course what do I know.. I'm merely one of those sub-intelligent morons who enjoyed the movie, who shall enjoy the follow-ups,.

And, yes I know he was trying to employ satire to ridicule the hype around the sequal and the follow-up. Rather poorly done imo though. Rolling Eyes

Also question the taste of some of his exclamations....
Wonder if we could have Doc. Kendra lock this guy up, he's clearly deranged and a danger to others. Wink

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 4:17 pm

vpisteve
Asshatministrator

Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2441
Location: 1987

Okay, erg.

The whole site is a site of satire. It's painfully obvious, now.

That's what I get for following an isolated link. Sorry guys. It's all a joke. Embarassed

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 4:28 pm
Last edited by vpisteve on Tue May 13, 2003 4:35 pm; edited 2 times in total

bill
Unfettered

Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 614
Location: Tampa

The 'knocked the pipe from my hand' comment clinched that thought for me.

_________________
Bill
http://deaddrop.us/
Dedicated to Alternate Reality Gaming

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 4:32 pm

vpisteve
Asshatministrator

Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2441
Location: 1987

I guess I've seen too many of these sort of diatribes that were real, lately.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 4:44 pm

Display posts from previous: Sort by:

Page 1 of 1 [6 Posts]

Forum index » Meta » Various & Sundry

Jump to:

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
You cannot post calendar events in this forum