unforum

[Scarr]

What do Mack the Knife, Attila the Hun and Jabba the Hutt have in common?
The same middle name.

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder. But it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

[Scarr]

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied. "What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked. "Well," says the bartender. "He wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes." "How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.

[Phaedra]

[Anton P. Nym]

[Centipede]

My favorite 'stupid' joke. Really only works if you say it out loud.

What do you call a fish without an eye?

[Anton P. Nym]

[Satellite]

here's one that i love, just for the shock value:

What do you get when you light a dog on fire?







An erection.

[Platonix]

Once upon a time, there was a rabbi who travelled to a distant South Pacific island on a missionary journey. He set up a home for himself near the town of the natives, who called themselves the Trids, and observed their peculiar customs.
Well, there was this one custom that he could never really understand. Every day, at a certain time, the Trids would line up in the center of town and head up a hill in single file. Then, one by one, they would tumble down the hill back into town, and go back about their daily business.
Finally, the rabbi decided the only way to truly know the custom was to experience it, so one day he decided to join them. He was caught unprepared, so was a bit late; he wound up last in line.
The Trids walked up the hill in single file, until they reached a large house at the top of the hill. The Trid who was first in line stepped up and knocked on the door. The door opened, to reveal a huge menacing ogre! The ogre looked down at the comparatively tiny Trid...and kicked it, rather hard. Thusly propelled, the Trid started tumbling down the hill. The ogre closed the door.
The next Trid stepped up, knocked on the door, the ogre opened the door, looked at the Trid, kicked him down the hill and closed the door. And so it continued, all down the line, while the poor rabbi wondered "whaaat..."
Finally, the line neared its end. The Trid just in front of the rabbi stepped up, knocked on the door, the ogre opened the door, looked at the Trid, kicked him down the hill and closed the door. ...and the rabbi was alone on the hilltop.
Knowing he'd probably be hurt rather badly, but also knowing he had to follow through or never understand the Trid people, the rabbi consigned himself to his fate, and knocked on the door. The ogre opened the door, looked at the rabbi...and closed the door.
Now thoroughly confused, the rabbi tried again. he knocked on the door, the ogre opened the door, looked at the rabbi, and went to close the door again. But the rabbi was determined to figure this out, so he put his foot in the door, and asked, "Now, wait a minute, ogre, why is it that you kicked all of those Trids down the hill, but you won't kick me?"
The ogre looked at the rabbi...and said...

[Digiwizzard]

Q: What do you get when you mix beekeepers and dumb jokes

A: this thread

ZING