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Forum index » Archive » Archive: General » ARG: We Lost Our Gold

Characters' Transcripts
Moderators: rose

Page 1 of 1 [7 Posts]

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Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Characters' Transcripts
What each character says

I figure looking at each character on his own might help bring out some patterns so here they are. Do kindly inform me of any mistakes so that I can correct them.

Mulligan

Episode 1:
Mulligan: Meep.
Mulligan: And now any lubber can find it and spends it.
Mulligan: And we'll never tell them spies that we first had that gold in Central Park.
Mulligan: Oh, we get to talk in code. Like Morse code. Oh, I love Morse code. Dot. Dot. Dot.
Mulligan: Dash. Dot. Dash. Dot.
Mulligan: Dot. Dash. Dash.
Mulligan: Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot. Dash. Dot. Dash.
Mulligan: Tom. Help. This toy has me and it will not let go.
Mulligan: Oh thank you Tom.
Mulligan: I have a good code. Instead of Central Park we call it Pentral Cark.
Mulligan: Yeah, sneaky code ain't it.
Mulligan: But you see what I did with the "C"...
Mulligan: Oh. Then how about this. Instead of calling it window sill, we call it window sell. Sill, I-L-L, sell, E-L-E.
Mulligan: I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember eating any iced cream. But I do remember what I was gonna buy with my share of the treasure. Wait, I'll say it in code: belly jeans.
Mulligan: I'm going up to the highest point of the ship to clear me head and think of new codes.
Mulligan: But I loves it.
Mulligan: Ah. I have the code of all codes. But it's so good it can't be put into words. Where's my crayons. Ah. My sweet crayolees.
Mulligan: Done.
Mulligan: There it is the code of all codes.
Mulligan: Yeah, your foot.
Mulligan: No, it's Pentral Park. Start in Pentral Park.

Episode 2:
Mulligan: I don't wanna sink. I cannot swim. We cannot fight that British two-decker Captain!
Mulligan: It's not Captain. That's what makes it so horrible. Ah. This is just like the time the French blew a hole in the cabin.
Mulligan: Nonono. Nononono. Captain. Captain. It's okay. It's okay. Look. Crothers and me switched Tutty with a potato. Huh, potato.
Mulligan: But Captain, somebody should be up in that crow's nest and that somebody should be me.
Mulligan: I'm the first mate. Why'd you make me the first mate if I can't go up in that crow's nest.
Mulligan: Oh, I'm so scared Captain. I think I gotta pee.
Mulligan: Okay. Mulligan, you just gotta hold off 'till dark. And that's all you gotta do. Alright? Alright.
Mulligan: Oh. That lieutenant on the foredeck is giving the sign of victory. Oh, wait. He's just a kid. Not so bad. Agh. And there are four guys behind him. That's kinda bad. Augh. And smoldering cannons of destruction. Oh, this is bad! Bad!
Mulligan: Peace, courage, fortitude and justice mateys. I am your friend, I am.
Mulligan: Waugh. Augh. Waugh. Whoa. Waugh. Waugh. Wa-waugh.
Mulligan: Whew. Uh-whoa. Whoa. Hello everybody, where am I?
Mulligan: Psst. Captain. Crow's nest.

Episode 3:
Mulligan: Oh, I can't believe it. I'm on TV! I'm on TV!
Mulligan: Let me ask you a question Mr. King. You're in the television business. Why did they cancel that show Firefly? That was a good show that was.
Mulligan: And four: There are four of us in our crew and I ain't never seen more than four docks in one port.
Mulligan: But you can't see all them docks at the same time. That's all I'm sayin' Captain.
Mulligan: Aye and that's right, we did stole it from Glove and Boots!
Mulligan: Heh heh heh.
Mulligan: Oh. Show 'em the picture of me in the crow's nest would ya?
Mulligan: Hey Captain, do you think they realize that we was slippin' in clues?

Episode 5
Mulligan: Thank you lucky sandwich.
Mulligan: Oh, I call! Oh yeah! I call for sure!
Mulligan: Oh. I got an Ace, and a Mackerel. And those are really good cards. And do I want to fold good cards like an Ace? And who knows the next time I'm gonna get a card like a Mackerel?
Mulligan: Oh, I call!
Mulligan: Uh. Oh boy! I called! I CALLED!
Mulligan: FISH!
Mulligan: Woohoo!
Mulligan: What is it?

Episode 6
Mulligan: Hnuf! All four of us could defeat it, but...
Mulligan: UALUEALUEALUEALE!!!
Mulligan: Oh boy oh boy, I thought that was the end...
Mulligan: That's not it. That can't be the whole skit. Unless that's the whole skit and then I guess it can.
Mulligan: [thinking] I can't look...well, I can, but I don' wanna, cause either there's a gorilla in the cabin...
Mulligan: [thinking] ...or else I'm havin' a nightmare, and do I want to see either of those? Huh! I don't think so!
Mulligan: [thinking] Then again, I might as well look, cause if I'm dreamin', I might as well see what's happenin'... Yeah, that's it, you're dreamin', Mulligan... Like there's really a gorilla in the cabin... Huff! Gorilla in the cabin! Huff huff! That's a good one!!!
Mulligan: Gorilla in the cabin.
Mulligan: GORILLA IN THE CABIN!!!
Mulligan: Captain! I think he thinks I'm a woman!

Episode 7:
Mulligan: Ah. Oh. I hope they don't start talkin' about ghosts I do.
Mulligan: Oh I'm shakin', I'm shakin'. Where's me pistol?
Mulligan: Huh? No you can't shoot ghosts, but maybe the ghost don't know it and then he'll be the one shakin'.
Mulligan: Oh I can't stand it.
Mulligan: Oh no. It's cold up there. What if the ghost decides to come down here to get warm and sit and rest his ghostly skeleton legs and - oh, I'm standing right next to the chairs. Oh I can feel eyes what are lookin', lookin' right at me. Oh Tom, can you please check and make sure that the ghost isn't sitting right there!
Mulligan: Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!
Mulligan: Gimme that pistol you little yellow...mmmrph!
Mulligan: If anybody's going to shoot that ghost what can't be shot, it is going to be me.
Mulligan: Argh!
Mulligan: Jam it you!
Mulligan: Get down here you!
Mulligan: Wait! I wanted to shoot the ghost.
Mulligan: But why shoot Crothers? He's not the ghost.

Episode 8:
Mulligan: Noo! Summoning spirits of the dead is a bad idea!
Mulligan: No, I don't care, Tom. I don't want nothing to do with summoning up spirits of the damned, even if my own good buddies they be. Oh! My skin is itchin'. Oh, I'm so uncomfortable! Ooh! Oooh!
Mulligan: Oh, I'm so itchy with the fear.
Mulligan: Oh, I don't like this.
Mulligan: Tom, Tom. I is afraid that Crothers is a-gonna blame me for his dyin'
Mulligan No, I ain't bein silly. All I was sayin before he got shot in his head was, "I wanna shoot the ghost!" The Ghost-Shooter, that's me. And then he got shot. And then he was the ghost.
Mulligan: Oh, I can almost hear the spook callin' out for me now, "Mulligan! Mulligan!"
Mulligan: Shriek
Mulligan: cries out
Mulligan: Two hundred and fifty ghost feets. The ghost o' Crothers has two hundred and forty-nine extra legs, guys! Oh! I can almost hear their dreadful tiptoeing!
Mulligan: No! That's enough! I'm done! If we keep botherin' this Santa guy, one of us is gonna get possessed! And I am happy just bein' me, thank you very much! And I like you just bein' Tom, tom. And you just stay only the Cap'n, Cap'n. And you... YOU!
Mulligan: shrieks
Mulligan: It's lookin' at me Cap'n.
Mulligan: Sweet Mother of Mercy!
Mulligan: Oh no. I will not be murderacized by a bird and a phantom and my very good friend at the same time.
Mulligan: Just, uh, give me a head start before you come eat my brains and guts and soul.
Mulligan: I made it! I made it to the safety of the beautiful crows nest!
Mulligan: Ohh Ohh!
Mulligan: [screaming, remote] oooohhhh
Mulligan: I'm okay! Where am I?

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:07 pm

Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Crothers

Episode 1:
Crothers: And you Captain.
Crothers: In code. [Mulligan: Dot. Dash.] Retracing our steps. But in code? [Bird: Dot. Dash. Dot.] Got it. How's this [Mulligan: Dash.] for code lads? [Bird: Dot. Dash.] [Mulligan: Dash.] Balto. [Bird: Dot. Dash. Dash.] [Mulligan: Dot. Dash.] Balto's the code see.
Crothers: By me code of Balto I mean the statue of Balto. The dog statue. That's me code.
Crothers: That is confusing. I have no idea what you're talking about. But don't worry lads, [Bird: Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot.] I'm the luckiest man alive. We'll find that gold in no time.
Crothers: Whoa. Whoa. Ahhhh.
Crothers: Ha ha ha.
Crothers: Oh. That's clever that is.
Crothers: That "little armies" is the code I thunk up, and I ain't letting you steal it.
Crothers: Hooray! Mysterious and secret like at the same time.
Crothers: Ha ha ha.

Episode 2:
Crothers: Did [Black Tom: Hai.] he say west or southwest? All I hear be screamin'.
Crothers: Tom. Tom. Tom!
Crothers sets cannon to shoot into the Maddie Hayes by accident. Cannon fires and causes cannon to fall out of ship into water.
Crothers: Me arm's stuck. Tom. Help. What be that sword for Tom?
Crothers: Waugh ho ho ho. Not the sleeves of my beautiful red coat!
Crothers: Aye.
Crothers: I smells the smells of a fuse burning I do.

Episode 3:
Crothers: Hmmm. Spectacles is like face glasses they is.
Crothers: *Gasp!* Tell him nothin' Tom.

Episode 4 (I left all of the visual clues in here from when it was originally transcribed on the forums):
Title card stating CLUE 41 on a black background slides down from above. Crothers walks in front of title card from stage left. An eye patch covers his right eye, he is not wearing his blue hat, his left arm has been replaced with a wooden prosthesis and he is supported by a crutch under his right arm.
Crothers: Wait this ain't right. Well that didn't tell me nothin'. Well this be insultin' to the whole video. You bloomin' video makers can't end this here episode like that.
Smash cut to title card displaying CLUE 42. After a beat the title card is replaced with CLUE 28. After another beat (FURLONGS) is displayed below CLUE 28.
Crothers climbs up from below the title card.
Crothers: Augh. Now you've gone too far.
Smash cut to title card displaying CLUE 43 with Crothers appearing in the lower right corner.
Crothers: Stop that.
Smash cut to title card displaying welostourgold.com. Crothers is in the top left corner, but reversed horizontally and vertically.
Crothers: Augh.

Episode 5:
Crothers: Hey, nice hat! Where's your legs?
Crothers: And bring us more grog.
Crothers: Ha ha ha.
Crothers: Mmmhmmm.
Crothers: I am agreed, I am.
Crothers: Just the five and six of Diamonds. Welp fair be fair. 'Tis lucky I'm drunk.
Crothers: Aww.
Crothers: Call!
Crothers: Kings!
Crothers: KINGS!
Crothers: I gotta take a crap.

Episode 6:
Crothers: We have to try!!!
Crothers: Hold fast, Mulligan!!! Even if they stopped at the next port, following a close compass heading to ours should put them...
Crothers: I kinda like that video.
Crothers: No, I liked the way it were drawn, makin' me all heavy muskled!
Crothers: He has me leg!!!
Crothers: I'll stomp you with me one leg!!!
Crothers: Captain, have you seen my leg?

Episode 7:
Crothers: Aye. I remember the night of what you speaks Captain. It fills me with the shivers it do.
Crothers: And your bones felt a chill when there weren't no wind blowin'.
Crothers: Let me ask you somethin' Captain, and don't laugh neither. Do you believe in ghosks?
Crothers: Well. I were thinkin' maybe the reason we ain't found our gold yet is because of what happened there in the main topsail.
Crothers: Over a sea as dark as wine.
Crothers: Hangin' right there where they cut 'im with a boarding axe.
Crothers: 'Afore the boom of the thirteenth gun.
Crothers: Did you hear that wail I just heard off the port bow?
Crothers: You'se not foolin' about is you Captain?
Crothers: Even though I am afraid of no man, I'm afraid now. Because a ghosk is a man what is dead and that is something scary to me.
Crothers: I would like a hug, I'm so scared.
Crothers: Be that two knocks or three?
Crothers: The ghosk, the ghosk is come!
Crothers: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhh! He has no head and there's a bird and a gun where his brain should be.
Crothers: Wait! I think this hole in me chest means the one that was shot were me.
Crothers: [Makes a noise of exertion.] I don't mean to complain but I think I'm getting the bad end of this lot.

Episode 8:
Parrot/Crothers: Hello, Mulligan.
Crothers/parrot: I'm fine, Tom, thanks for asking. Eh, the afterlife's not all that bad, 'cept for the fire and the pitchfork jabs. Ahahahaha!
Crothers/parrot: Aye, I were told where our treasure be!
Crothers/parrot: But I did not hear all of it, on accounts of I were having beer and pudding at the time.
Crothers/parrot: Yes, Tom, all the pudding you can eat!
Crothers/parrot: No, I remembers some. Look for the flyin' birdie, and follow his path. And start from [stop on?] the ship. That's important too. Oh, but away from his nest. A birdie! And now I is a bird! That's irony, that is!
(He actually says:
Look for the flyin' birdie and follow his path.
Stop on the ship - that's important too.
Over, away from his nest - a birdie.
And now I's a bird! That's irony, that is!)
Crothers/parrot: Well, it's hard to concentrate when you're sittin' on a beer volcano.
Crothers/parrot: No, captain, there be more.
Crothers/parrot: And it be in regards to...
Crothers/parrot: ...in regards to Mulligan!
Crothers/parrot: I were only gonna say, we shoulda been listenin' ta him from the very beginning.
Crothers/parrot: Ay Ay oi! Hey, that is hurtin' this parrot, whose body I'm leasin' to speak in!
Crothers/parrot: Then ask me somethin only me and ye knows, Cap'n! You bein' Cap'n and me bein' Crothers.
Crothers/parrot: He's in the treasure chest, Cap'n. Ye put him there ta keep him safe.
Crothers/parrot: Ohhhhhh!
Crothers/parrot: No Tom, I am not happy. I can tell I'm stuck in this parrot. And all of his luck were bad! How can I be your mate, lookin like this?
Crothers/parrot: No Tom, I am not happy. I can tell I'm stuck in this parrot. And all of his luck were
Crothers/parrot: Where is he goin?
Crothers/parrot: Captain? Is this cryin' some sort of a code-type thingie?
Crothers/parrot: Look out! [unintelligible]
Crothers/parrot: Will someone check and see if there's wood stickin out of me head?

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:11 pm

Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Captain

Episode 1:
Captain: This secret type meeting be come to order, and we ain't to be wasting time drinking or gambling or shooting each other for fun. We're all to blame for what happened. Mulligan.
Captain: Black Tom.
Captain: And Crothers.
Captain: Aye, and me. We hid our treasure well lads. Too bloody well. We did such a fine blasted job of hiding that chest, not one of us four remembers where we put it. Mates, we lost our gold. Them beautiful ten thousand golden dollar coins were all we had.
Captain: Aye, Tom. That be the plan. To retrace our steps, but we'll do it secret like. Word's been leaked that we lost our gold. I suspect there be spies listenin' to every word we speaks.
Captain: And never stop till we remembers where that chest be buried.
Captain: Mind your tongue Mulligan, we can't talk too plainly. We have to out think them spies. To be safe I think that we should talk in code. Riddles only we four'll understand.
Captain: Crothers, wait.
Captain: If ye says it's a code Crothers, it ruins the sneakiness.
Captain: I'll say where we was after the Balto statue, but I won't say its [Mulligan: Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot.] a code. And I'll just make it confusing [Bird: Dot. Dash.] so spies can't understand me.
Captain: After a cave we went between Cape Shakespeare and Columbus Rock. See? No mention of code. Ha har.
Captain: As long as I can remembers, thinking way back in me thinky thoughts, Crothers has always been the luckiest man alive, and as long as I can remember all that luck were bad.
Captain: Stop spewing that blasted Morse code. Me fine flashback has been ruined on account you cannot shut your bilge hole.
Captain: Aye Tom. You've grabbed the sneakiness by the belly. That clue don't mean nothing now. Ah har. It belongs in the next episode. That'll fool listening spies.
Captain: I hate to think what it would be like if I did not have Tom on me crew. Black Tom. Perhaps the finest pirate I've ever sailed with, and I've sailed with Johnny Longbottoms. T...
Captain: Mulligan you're just switching letters about. You're still saying Central Park.
Captain: There ain't nothing sneaky about switching the "C" with the "P".
Captain: Mulligan, that conspicurous code be as useful as a one legged man in a leg having contest.
Captain: Har har.
Captain: If by clever you mean turds.
Captain: Listen we needs to focus. Remember we is retracing our steps so's we can find our treasure. Dairy is the next important word we have to say. But we don't want eavesdropping spies to hear us say "Dairy" out loud. So to make it all sneaky, Mulligan, you say: I ated the ice cream.
Captain: I know you're saying jelly beans. I am not even gonna waste a flashback on ya. Instead I will remember me sweet stuffed animal type friend - Totty.
Captain: I remember sitting with Totty on our favorite rock. Him and me. Me and him. Totty were always the mediscine for me troubled s...
Captain: Where are you going you great poop!
Captain: Sit down. You know you ain't allowed in the crows nest.
Captain: Heave to you infernal buggers. This meeting is supposed to be mysterious and secret like.
Captain: Be that a foot?
Captain: Tracing me foot. Why don't we all prance up to the top deck, lock arms, and riverdance off the rotten plank.
Captain: Start [garbled]
Captain: Red hell and bloody death! Why don't we just hoist the flag what tells every spy between wind and water where to find us and how to listen to our secrets?

Episode 2:
Captain: Mulligan, hoisting that flag we stole off a merchant vessel won't fool 'em. Know that we're pirates they do.
Captain: Mulligan, 'tis almost dusk. Let fly the sail, we'll lose them in the gloom of night. Crothers, fire a cannonball o'er her bridge, south by southwest. And Tom, for the sake of clue type order here's where you be insertin' your words from the last video.
Captain: Stand fast Mulligan. This ain't your first dance with old lady cannonball.
Captain: Mever mind the French now Tutty. You just have your nap.
Captain: Tutty. Augh! Augh!
Captain: Mulligan, I'd sooner cut off my tatoo what says Tutty, before I'd see you up in that crow's nest. Crothers, fire south. Aim below their bridge.
Captain: You think I'd be giving that job to Crothers?
Captain: That better be code talk, ya nancy. Sodder me jiggers. They're getting close enough for boardin'. I'll get us a brace of pistols, Mulligan. We'll shoot 'em as they come. Oh, I am so excited. Shooting boarders in the face be one of me favorite things. Argh me favorite things. Argh...
Captain: [churchy music] Mr. God, I am not the prayin' sort, but I will try it now. What we need God type feller be a miracle.
Captain: Quiet down, they're still close by. Be everyone safely below?
Captain: Don't worry mates. [strange voice used to signify clues: Our last heading were for the silver coast of Africa.]
Sound of someone being smacked, presumably Mulligan.
Captain: Ha Har!

Episode 3:
Captain: Where do ya keep your treasure hoard Larry the King?
Captain: I think you're getting old, ya pillock.
Captain: And three: Ya best mind the gap in yer face! King of the Larrys!
Captain: Those be lies Lawrence. There be five docks [Camera switches back to splitscreen with the Captain's feed on the left side and the infographic on the right side. The infographic updates to show: 5. There are 5 docks at the Port of Cortland.] at the Port of Cortland.
Captain: Arr. 'Tis true Larry. 'Tis true.
Captain: Ha hah! You'll need more than a forked journalistic tongue to pry the secrets from a pirate, King Larry.
Captain: Don't say that you dolt!
Captain: Arr. Incriminatin' it be Larry's King.
Captain: Which is why I brung pitchers of me own.
Captain: This pitcher first be Crothers in his fine blue hat, which I tells ya on accounts the pitcher be in black and white.
This pitcher next be me lookin' at that hat, the hat bein' Crothers's. And this pitcher last be Crothers and his hat [Left side of splitscreen changes to show black and white photograph of Crothers in same pose but with hat on fire. Caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BURIED TREASURE. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY.], both on fire! The fire about which I'll tell ya nothing' 'cept who lit it be someone and that someone be me.
Captain: Ha har!
Captain: And this, be a pitcher of Tutty [sniffs], me only truest friend.
Captain: There ain't no such pitcher and there never will be!
Captain: Well they did now ya great moron! I hates ya more than I hates Jared from them bloomin' sandwich commercials.

Episode 4:
Episode 5:
Captain: I hates me cards.
Captain: You're the dealer what dealt me seven deuce four hands in a row!
Captain: Har!
Captain: Crothers what say we make a side bet on this next hand.
Captain: Whoever's cards be better than t'other, he cuts the loser's arm off.
Captain: I have the Jack of Diamonds and the Queen of Spades. Whaddaya got?
Captain: You is me good friend.
Captain: So I will chop low and with me sharpest type blade.
Captain: Of course you gamble when you're a pirate. Ha ha ha! Gamblin' is like drinking or stealing or shootin' your mate in the face.
The video of the Captain shooting the dealer is replayed.
Captain: Har ha har har har har. I can't count with all me fingers how many players I've shot what brought a lucky charm to the table. Har har har har har har...
The video switches to a scene of the Captain holding a box of tissues tearfully.
Captain: Waugh ho. I only shot them blokes on accounts I were jealous. Ohhhh. Tutty were me lucky charm and the only hand I won without him weren't even for money.
The video switches to a scene of the Captain blowing his nose on the red sofa.
Captain: Were for that blasted parrot.
Captain: I'll tell you me worst poker type loss. T'were the time the giant turtle came crawlin' through the winder and he swallered me cards and the table! But the table were a keg of gunpowder and he blew us all to smithereens! Ha ha!
Sound of camera flash and a video transition sequence is shown to indicate a cut in the scene.
Captain: Bollocks to luck! Since I won that parrot me good luck hit the end of the line. Lady luck's gone back the other direction and I'm up to me collar in turds!
Captain: Call... is what I do.
Captain: Quit yer bellyachin' Tom. I ain't the one dealin'.
Captain: I wants to call. Make up yer mind ya great sissy!
Captain: Ha ha ha! Ha har!
Captain: Two or a seven! Two or a seven!
Captain: Two! Seven!
Captain: Curse ya bird! Get the blazes off the table.
Captain: Come on.
Captain: See ya in hell eight of Diamonds!
Captain: Fills me with fear it does.

Episode 6:
Captain: Put em right behind ye!
Captain: That be the most ridiculous gob o' whale excrement I ever set me eyes on. Har!
Captain: Shut it, you!
Captain: He has me pitcher o' Tutty!!
Captain: Aim for his WHUUFFF!
Captain: Shut up about your leg! Alright you video makers. Had your fun you had. Now show's us your clue and where our gold be hidden.
Captain: I believe I am stupider on accounts of that video, I am.

Episode 7:
Captain: When I says I truly never seen a night like tonight, true it don't be, on accounts I've seen one I have.
Captain: The moon were the color of blood that night.
Captain: And you'd swear there were someone close listenin', 'cept when look around you would, there be no one there.
Captain: Shhhh. Don't say ghosks too loud, on accounts they am the only thing I be scared of, 'cept walking skellingtons and men who is dead.
Captain: On a night just like tonight.
Captain: When the black gates of Hell opened to swaller the soul o' Lucky Jack.
Captain: They say you can still see the ghost o' old Jack from time to time.
Captain: Cut him twice to make sure the deed were done.
Captain: Y'argh. 'Tis a scary rhyme, but say it they do.
Captain: Aye! How could I miss it. The ghostly wailin' of a spirik doin' his wailin' from his final restin' place.
Captain: With all that talk of ghosks and ghosks talkin' from beyond black Hell-type gates, this be a time for bein' deadly seriousk.
Captain: Aye Crothers. Scary enough to make strong mates what swears and stabs each other for fun feel afeared. I am not afraid to say, afraid is what I am.
Captain: They say ghosks knock three times before they appears and eats your facek.
Captain: It be both, on accounts the knock ye spoke of be two but that knock be three, and three is the knock what means the ghosk is come.
Captain: And that be four?
Captain: I think that now I am going to scream.
Captain: Wait! You is me own parrot-type bird, and birds is not ghosks!
Captain: Well you fixed that with your shenanigans you swabs! Arrgh! We shoulda buried you instead the treasure you parrot from Hell!
two bell tolls
Captain: Now this be a fine mess. Crothers is shot and killed by me own bird.
two bell tolls
The Captain sighs.
Captain: Treasure be gone. Now Crothers be gone. [two bell tolls] Tutty be gone.
Captain: Go ahead God, strike the ship with lightnin', see if I cares.

Episode 8:
Captain: I remembers when times were better. But sometimes ya hafta do whatever it takes to get those times back.
Captain: I don't see we got no choices. Since we lost Crothers, we be more confuddled about findin' our treasure than ever.
Captain So! Ya think I am wantin' to have a seance, do ye? That it's my favorite thing to sit, holdin' hands with you buggers, summoning the spirits of the dead, inviting Lucifer into me ship, with a hardy, heidy hello!
Captain: Hold fast Mulligan! For questions we have. And answers we need. So the time has come, it has, to summon up the spirik, of old Crothers
Captain: I am talkin' now to the spirik world. That world filled with souls, and demons, and black-hearted oozin' buggers what make decent living-type folk puke up at the sight of ye.
Captain: We is tryin' ta get hold o Crothers, who is a dead-type feller of the recent variety. So he won't look as disgustapatin' as the rest of ye.
[Captain continues, I can't hear it] �we don't want any bad things to happen to him. But if ya get the chance to send him, we need to talk to him� and �don't send no one else, just ol Crothers
Captain: Pipe down, ye lubbers! I is tryin' ta talk ta Satan!
Captain: This aint enough! What are we s'posed to do with a pitcher what says 250 feet!
Captain: You'll be civil to the ghost of Crothers, even if when he appears, his face is fallin' off, and Satan has turned his arms into spiders!
Captain: Yarr! Success! The spirit o' Crothers be pourin out o that bird like smokin' oakum.
Captain: Did the spirits tell ye anything about our treasure? Did ye learn anything, bein' dead and all?
Captain: Ye were, were ye?
Captain: So, the devil told ye where our treasure be, but ye missed it, bein' too drunk and full o' sweets?
Captain: Mmmfh!
Captain: That's it?! A flying birdie be the great secret of the afterlife!
Captain: Aye, Tom. There may be truth ta yer words! How do we know that bird bein channelin Crothers, and not some devil, weavin' sugary lies?
Captain: I need proof ye be Crothers, not Lucifer in a bird suit!
Captain: I'll ask ye a question then. Me greatest secret I only shared with one man, that man bein' Crothers: What happen'd ta Tutty?
Captain: No! (glass breaks) The floatin' voice o' what turned out ta be my best mate were hit in the face by lightnin!
Captain sighs, exits slowly.
Captain: Ya still look like a pirate ta me! Sniff! Now ya can fly behind merchants, and stab em unawares. (Sobs) yer smallness will help ya get drunk faster! (Sobs)
Captain: No, Crothers parrot. I am cryin on accounts I am overcome with emoshkuns. Yer midgety bird-body has taught me that Tutty were the treasure I were truly missin. And in a way, it turns out the treasure was with us the whole.... [Crothers was with them the whole time? The treasure is where Crothers is?]
Captain: I am disgustapated with the lot of ye!

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:12 pm

joemanfro
Guest

nice

This is actually a great idea for those of us who are fans of the crew splitting up. Helps us not have to fish and piece together dialogue.

Thumbs up!

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:32 pm

Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Black Tom

Obviously there are some challenges here.

Episode 1:
Black Tom: Hai.
Mulligan: And now any lubber can find it and spends it.
Black Tom: [Japanese � something along the lines of looking for it or retracing steps]
Captain: Aye, Tom. That be the plan. To retrace our steps, but we'll do it secret like. Word's been leaked that we lost our gold. I suspect there be spies listenin' to every word we speaks.
Black Tom: Roku san ni san. Roku ni go ichi. Roku ni ni kyu. [translates as: 6323 6251 6229]
Black Tom removes chinese finger cuffs
Black Tom: Zut.
Captain: If by clever you mean turds.
Black Tom: Ha ha ha.
Black Tom shouts, raises sword and disappears in a flash of fire and smoke

Episode 2:
Captain: Mulligan, 'tis almost dusk. Let fly the sail, we'll lose them in the gloom of night. Crothers, fire a cannonball o'er her bridge, south by southwest. And Tom, for the sake of clue type order here's where you be insertin' your words from the last video.
Black Tom: Hai.
Crothers: Did [Black Tom: Hai.] he say west or southwest? All I hear be screamin'.
Black Tom: Oh. Oh, komoji! [phonetic - komoji means lower case in Japanese]
Crothers sets cannon to shoot into the Maddie Hayes by accident. Cannon fires and causes cannon to fall out of ship into water.
Black Tom raises sword and poses. Anime style interlude begins wherein Black Tom cuts off Crothers' sleeves, freeing his arms in the process.
Narrator: Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi.
Black Tom: [unintelligble Japanese]
Crothers: Waugh ho ho ho. Not the sleeves of my beautiful red coat!
Black Tom: [muttering while scurrying about the cabin tending to chaos]
Bird: Augh! Augh!
Captain: What we need, God-type feller� be a miracle
Closeup on Black Tom who is holding a fire extinguisher. He blasts out of the lower deck and flies through the air covered by a yellow aura/glow, while an anime style interlude begins showing him flying into outer space.
Narrator: Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ha! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Yeah! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ha! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi means one. In Japanese. And ni means two. In Japanese. And Son means three. In Japanese. And Chi means four in Japanese.
Black Tom: Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Doooooo!
[i]Black Tom points at sun and makes it explode. Mulligan is shown still on the top deck watching the
Black Tom: Hai.

Episode 3:
Larry King: Well hello. I'm sorry I don't have your name.
Black Tom: [Japanese- I have no idea what this might be]
Camera switches to show all three pirate feeds above Larry King's feed.
Crothers: Hooo. Tell him nothin' Tom.
Camera switches to Larry King's feed and the caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BLACK TOM. CORSAIR SUPREMO.
Larry King: What are you trying to gain by burying treasure and posting videos that lead complete strangers towards your gold.
Camera changes to closeup of Black Tom as he throws a shuriken at Larry King. Camera changes back to Larry King's feed. Although the shuriken lodged in Larry King's left shoulder pad Larry King barely reacts to the hit and after a beat, Black Tom disappears in a puff of smoke.

Episode 4 (I'm just leaving this whole):
Black Tom is shown standing in front of a pale yellow background. To his upper left are four Japanese characters [北部 - roughly pronounced hokubu] which have beenreversed horizontally. The first two characters are the kanji symbols for "North." The last two characters mean "section, bureau, dept, class, copy, part, portion, or counter for copies of a newspaper or magazine."
Black Tom: [speaking backwards] Sometimes to follow the way, you must avoid the way you've known. [Click here to listen to the reversed audio.]
Black Tom looks to stage right, perhaps up at the reversed Japanese characters to his upper left, then walks off stage left.
Title card stating CLUE 41 on a black background slides down from above. Crothers walks in front of title card from stage left. An eye patch covers his right eye, he is not wearing his blue hat, his left arm has been replaced with a wooden prosthesis and he is supported by a crutch under his right arm.
Crothers: Why this ain't right. Well that didn't tell me nothin'. Well this be insultin' to the whole video. You bloomin' video makers can't end this here episode like that.
Smash cut to title card displaying CLUE 42. After a beat the title card is replaced with CLUE 28. After another beat (FURLONGS) is displayed below CLUE 28.
Crothers climbs up from below the title card.
Crothers: Augh. Now you've gone too far.
Smash cut to title card displaying CLUE 43 with Crothers appearing in the lower right corner.
Crothers: Stop that.
Smash cut to title card displaying welostourgold.com. Crothers is in the top left corner, but reversed horizontally and vertically.
Crothers: Augh.

Episode 5:
Black Tom: Woo hoo.
Captain: Call... is what I do.
Black Tom: [Japanese - presumably indignation at the Captain's cheating � Sounds like Yojimbo, which is a Kurasawa movie]
Captain: Quit yer bellyachin' Tom. I ain't the one dealin'.
Narrator 2: That extra card assures that he is not gonna fold John. And that he's cheating.
Narrator 2: Things certainly are heating up mister. Tom is first to act.
Black Tom: [Japanese - presumably saying he is all in - sounds like "nino ter kay."]
The pot increases to $2734 when Black Tom goes all in.
Captain: Two! Seven!
Black Tom: [nonsense Japanese - presumably calling for Queens.]
Mulligan: FISH!
Mulligan: What is it?
Captain: Fills me with fear it does.
Black Tom: [Japanese � presumably about the creepy skull. sounds like "sendai sayonata."]
Crothers: I gotta take a crap.

Episode 6:
Black Tom: My blade shall singe like Nobunaga fire!!!
Black Tom: To catch up to you is destiny... when our paths are meant to be one.
Black Tom: [Japanese - sounds like "oy subodai"] GORILLA HAS COME!!!
Black Tom: My throwing stars have no effect!

Episode 7:
Mulligan: Oh I'm shakin', I'm shakin'. Where's me pistol?
Black Tom: [Japanese � maybe "can you even shoot ghosts?" sounds like "eh no sooday"]
Mulligan: Huh? No you can't shoot ghosts, but maybe the ghost don't know it and then he'll be the one shakin'.
Black Tom: Huh.
Mulligan: Oh I can't stand it.
Black Tom: [Japanese � maybe "we're safe down here" or "maybe the ghost will stay up there." sounds like "doh moofa sonay"]
Mulligan: Oh no. It's cold up there. What if the ghost decides to come down here to get warm and sit and rest his ghostly skeleton legs and - oh, I'm standing right next to the chairs. Oh I can feel eyes what are lookin', lookin' right at me. Oh Tom, can you please check and make sure that the ghost isn't sitting right there!

Episode 8:
Captain: I don't see we got no choices. Since we lost Crothers, we be more confuddled about findin' our treasure than ever.
Tom: [Japanese � Maybe "we need to find that gold" or something along those lines. I think I heard a Hadouken in there]
Mulligan: No, I don't care, Tom. I don't want nothing to do with summoning up spirits of the damned, even if my own good buddies they be. Oh! My skin is itchin'. Oh, I'm so uncomfortable! Ooh! Oooh!
Mulligan: Tom, Tom. I is afraid that Crothers is a-gonna blame me for his dyin'
Tom: [Japanese � presumably "don't be silly." Sounds like itsi ona doshi]
Mulligan No, I ain't bein silly. All I was sayin before he got shot in his head was, "I wanna shoot the ghost!" The Ghost-Shooter, that's me. And then he got shot. And then he was the ghost.
Tom: Mmmmmm
Captain: Yarr! Success! The spirit o' Crothers be pourin out o that bird like smokin' oakum.
Tom: [Japanese � presumably "how are you? Sounds like hetsi ona doshi]
Crothers/parrot: I'm fine, Tom, thanks for asking. Eh, the afterlife's not all that bad, 'cept for the fire and the pitchfork jabs. Ahahahaha!
Crothers/parrot: But I did not hear all of it, on accounts of I were having beer and pudding at the time.
Tom: Ooh, [Japanese � presumably "there's pudding in hell?" Sounds like etsio moshu na].
Crothers/parrot: Yes, Tom, all the pudding you can eat!
Crothers/parrot: I were only gonna say, we shoulda been listenin' ta him from the very beginning.
Tom: Mmmhmm mm [which apparently means "how do we know that you're really Crothers?"].
Captain: Aye, Tom. There may be truth ta yer words! How do we know that bird bein channelin Crothers, and not some devil, weavin' sugary lies?
Crothers/parrot: He's in the treasure chest, Cap'n. Ye put him there ta keep him safe.
Tom: Ohoh?
Captain: No! (glass breaks) The floatin' voice o' what turned out ta be my best mate were hit in the face by lightnin!
Tom: [Japenese � "have you (or has he) gone back to hell?" sounds like kamehameha, a DragonBall thing]
Coughing, parrot appears dressed as Crothers (hat, but missing arm, leg, and eye)
Crothers/parrot: I have not gone back to hell!
Tom: [Japanese � "are you happy?" Sounds like nariaro shinto sun] I really feel that there is some significance here, since Tutty's shirt says Happy
Crothers/parrot: No Tom, I am not happy. I can tell I'm stuck in this parrot. And all of his luck were bad! How can I be your mate, lookin like this?
Crothers/parrot: Where is he goin?
Tom: grunts an "I'unno" and shrugs
Captain: I am disgustapated with the lot of ye!
Tom: [Japanese � apparently something incredibly funny. Sounds like dundi diyo, duni segundiyo!]
All: Hahahaha

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:34 pm

Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Parrot

Episode 1:
Bird: Hide the gold. Hide the gold. Hide the gold. Hide the gold. Hide the gold.
Bird: Dash.
Crothers: In code. [Mulligan: Dot. Dash.] Retracing our steps. But in code? [Bird: Dot. Dash. Dot.] Got it. How's this [Mulligan: Dash.] for code lads? [Bird: Dot. Dash.] [Mulligan: Dash.] Balto. [Bird: Dot. Dash. Dash.] [Mulligan: Dot. Dash.] Balto's the code see.
Bird: Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot.
Captain: I'll say where we was after the Balto statue, but I won't say its [Mulligan: Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot.] a code. And I'll just make it confusing [Bird: Dot. Dash.] so spies can't understand me.
Crothers: That is confusing. I have no idea what you're talking about. But don't worry lads, [Bird: Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot.] I'm the luckiest man alive. We'll find that gold in no time.
Bird: Dot. Dash.
Bird: Liddy armies [phonetic].
Bird: Central Park. Start in Central Park.
Bird: Park.. Cent...would you...Bawk..Arghh!
Captain grabs Bird and runs screaming to the cannon stuffing Bird inside
Bird: Arghh!
Bird: Bawk!

Episode 2:
Bird: Augh! Augh!
Episode 3:
Bird: Larry the King!
Left side of screen changes to Mulligan and the Bird's feed.
Bird: Dolt!
Caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BURIED TREASURE. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY. Camera starts to pull back revealing the Bird sitting at the desk to the left of Larry King.
Larry King and the Bird are both surprised to see each other and after they each do a few double takes the Bird walks off stage right as the video changes to show THE LARRY KING graphic.

Episode 4:
Episode 5:
Bird: Bawk!
Bird: Double down. Double down.
Bird: Aaaah! Ha ha ha. Bawk bawk bawk!
Bird: Wauuuuuuugh... huh?
Episode 6:
Episode 7:
As Mulligan and Black Tom run off screen, presumably to find a pistol, the Bird is revealed to have been sitting behind them the whole time holding a pistol and listening to their conversation. The Bird groans three times in apparent distress.
Bird: Bawk!
Bird: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww...
Bird: Treason!
Bird: Not the admiral!
Bird: Treason!
Bird: Treason! Treason! Treason!
Suddenly a knock is heard.
Another knock is heard before the Captain can respond.
Another knock is heard.
The honky-tonk music starts playing again as both the Captain and Crothers start to run around on deck screaming. Amidst the screaming the Bird fires a shot from the pistol.

Episode 8:
Parrot: Bad idea!
Parrot: Heidy hodie!
Parrot: Oozing buggers!
Parrot: Mulligan!
Parrot/Crothers: Hello, Mulligan.
Crothers/parrot: I'm fine, Tom, thanks for asking. Eh, the afterlife's not all that bad, 'cept for the fire and the pitchfork jabs. Ahahahaha!
Crothers/parrot: Aye, I were told where our treasure be!
Crothers/parrot: But I did not hear all of it, on accounts of I were having beer and pudding at the time.
Crothers/parrot: Yes, Tom, all the pudding you can eat!
Crothers/parrot: No, I remembers some. Look for the flyin' birdie, and follow his path. And start from [stop on?] the ship. That's important too. Oh, but away from his nest. A birdie! And now I is a bird! That's irony, that is!
[there is some argument over what he says in that last bit but this is what I think is closest]
Crothers/parrot: Well, it's hard to concentrate when you're sittin' on a beer volcano.
Crothers/parrot: No, captain, there be more.
Crothers/parrot: And it be in regards to...
Crothers/parrot: ...in regards to Mulligan!
Crothers/parrot: I were only gonna say, we shoulda been listenin' ta him from the very beginning.
Crothers/parrot: Ay Ay oi! Hey, that is hurtin' this parrot, whose body I'm leasin' to speak in!
Crothers/parrot: Then ask me somethin only me and ye knows, Cap'n! You bein' Cap'n and me bein' Crothers.
Crothers/parrot: He's in the treasure chest, Cap'n. Ye put him there ta keep him safe.
Crothers/parrot: Ohhhhhh!
Crothers/parrot: No Tom, I am not happy. I can tell I'm stuck in this parrot. And all of his luck were bad! How can I be your mate, lookin like this?
Crothers/parrot: No Tom, I am not happy. I can tell I'm stuck in this parrot. And all of his luck were
Crothers/parrot: Where is he goin?
Crothers/parrot: Captain? Is this cryin' some sort of a code-type thingie?
Crothers/parrot: Look out! [unintelligible but sounds like "Oh, by the way-"]
Crothers/parrot: Will someone check and see if there's wood stickin out of me head?

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:36 pm

Whatever
Boot

Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 20

Others

Not sure how well a pattern can be established by different characters but just to be thorough, here's everybody else.

Episode 2:
Mr. Nigel: It's a fine day to be at sea Mr. Gibson.
Mr. Gibson: Quite right Mr. Nigel. But it's such a bother to spend the evening chasing these pirates. What what.
Mr. Nigel: Shall we deal them a blow with the old aft cannon?
Mr. Gibson: Jolly good idea that.
Mr. Nigel: Would you care to light it Mr. Gibson?
Mr. Gibson: Good of you old boy, but let's light it together shall we?
Mr. Nigel: Fine idea that. What what.
Mr. Gibson: Oh, thank you Mr. Nigel.
Mr. Nigel: Oh, no thank you Mr. Gibson.
Narrator: Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi.
Narrator: Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ha! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Yeah! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ha! Ichi. Ni. Son. Chi. Ichi means one. In Japanese. And ni means two. In Japanese. And Son means three. In Japanese. And Chi means four in Japanese.

Episode 3:
Larry King: Tonight. Exclusive. A treasure chest filled with ten thousand dollars in gold coins is buried somewhere in New York City. The men behind this phenomenon appear to be pirates. There are four in their crew and they say that they lost their gold. Many are calling it a hoax. Others are desperately searching for what could be the first real buried treasure in New York City's history.
Larry King: Joining us now via satellite are the individuals who claim that to have lost their gold.
Larry King: Now Captain it seems to me [Camera switches back to Larry King's feed.] that pirates are all over the place in today's media. Don't you think this pirate craze is getting old?
Larry King: Crothers, what are your thoughts on the fact that ten thousand dollars for the taking [Camera switches to show all three pirate feeds above Larry King's feed.] has people skeptical?
Larry King: Mr. Mulligan. Now you blatantly said [Camera switches to Mulligan and the Bird's feed.] Central Park. [Caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. Buried Treasure. Is it buried in Cental Park?] Is that where this alleged treasure is buried?
Larry King: Gentlemen. The public is looking for answers to these questions.
Larry King: One: Is there truly a ten thousand dollar buried treasure?
Larry King: And two: If there is, why help people find it?
Larry King: Well hello. I'm sorry I don't have your name.
Larry King: What are you trying to gain by burying treasure and posting videos that lead complete strangers towards your gold.
Larry King: We are now joined by an individual who does not doubt this unlikely story.
Larry King: He claims that the gold is very real.
Larry King: Hello Mario and welcome to Larry King.
Larry King: Now Mario, I understand that you are involved with a group called... um... Glove and Boots.
Larry King: You claim that the treasure is real and doesn't belong to these pirates but to your organization.
Mario: Yes, hello Larry.
Mario: That's right Lar. All ten g's.
Mario: These pirates rang the doorbell at Glove and Boots and [Camera switches to Mario's feed.] say: "Hey we got no place to sleep, can we stay with you guys", and I said: "Hey why not you guys look like nice guys."
Fafa: Actually, I said they could stay Mario.
Mario: Get out of here Fafa. I'm talking to the Larry King.
Fafa: Aww, I'm not going to let you do all the good stuff. Hi Larry.
Larry King: Hello.
Mario: You're going to ruin everything Fafa. Now people will think we're just crazies bothering Mr. Larry.
Fafa: Wow, look at us on the TV. I gotta go record this.
Larry King: Okay, pirates, what are your thoughts on the accusation that the money belongs to a group called [Caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BURIED TREASURE. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY.] Glove and Boots, and is not yours to give away?
Mario: Uh... excuse me Larry, uh... I can prove that the money belongs to Glove and Boots and not these pirate people.
Larry King: Go ahead.
Mario: You remember that movie preview [Camera changes to Mario's feed and caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. FACT OR FICTION? TREASURE HUNT IN NYC.] teaser thing they did? They's a picture of me with those guys in it. You can see it in that [Camera switches to view showing three pirate feeds and Larry King's and Mario's feeds below.] buncha quick clips where it goes: Duh du du du du Duh du du du Duh du Duh. Look frame by frame and you will see me.
The Captain walks off stage left in his feed. The caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BURIED TREASURE. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY. The camera changes to Mario's feed.
Mario: I thought we were goin' to be buddies. They ran off with all our money.
Larry King: An incriminating photograph is serious evidence. What right do you have [Caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. FACT OR FICTION? TREASURE HUNT IN NYC.] giving clues to the whereabouts of ten thousand dollars if you have no claim to it?
Mario: You are horrible people.
Fafa: Hey, wait a minute. How'd I get up here? Is this some sort of clue?
Mario: That's right. [Camera switches to Fafa's feed and caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. FACT OR FICTION? TREASURE HUNT IN NYC.] Watch out pirates. We're on the right track. Heh heh. We're like the Hardy Boys.
Fafa: Ha ha ha.
Larry King: To review, a lost treasure chest [Camera switches to Larry King's feed and caption changes to read: BREAKING NEWS. WLGHD. BURIED TREASURE. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK CITY.] containing ten thousand dollars may actually be buried somewhere in New York City.
Larry King: The collective intelligence of these individuals makes me believe that their story is indeed a true one.
Larry King: My only hope, that someone finds it before they do. Thanks for watching the Larry King. I'm King Larry and good night.

Episode 4:
Episode 5:
Narrator 1: Las Vegas. Home of the infamous Dead Man's Hand poker tournament. The game is Texas Hold 'Em. The prize is a mountain of gold doubloons. And the time to win it all is right now. Tonight only four players remain, all of them intent on taking home that coveted trophy.
Narrator 1: The rookie with the Cinderella story.
Narrator 1: The bully from Great Britain.
Narrator 1: The man that refuses to lose.
Narrator 1: And the veteran who makes his own luck.
Narrator 1: Who will be our new champion?
Narrator 1: Who will walk away with the severed hand of a dead sailor?
Narrator 1: The final table, next on the WPPPT.
Narrator 2: Let's get right into the action here Billy and at the Dead Man's Hand tournament that can mean more than just cards.
Dealer: Woo hoo hoo!
Narrator 1/Billy: Let's take a look at the chip count.
Narrator 1/Billy: Mulligan's in the lead with just under half the coins in play followed by Tom with nearly two thousand...
Narrator 1/Billy: Looks like the first hand goes to the Captain. Sometimes you don't need luck or skill to win as we learn from this week's...
Deep Voice: FEATURED PLAYER
Narrator 2: Back to action here at the Dead Man's Hand tournament and it's anybody's guess who will take home the prize.
Narrator 1/Billy: Tom checks his hole cards. With that pair of Jacks he will raise.
Narrator 1/Billy: Crothers with a King, eight.
Narrator 2: Something's wrong with Mulligan, Bob. He's checking his hole cards again and there's a ...
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob: What is that?
Narrator 2: Well I do believe that was a Go Fish card James.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James: Now the Captain's hole cards. He has a three, a four, and a five of s-Spades. That's definitely one card too many.
Narrator 2: That extra card assures that he is not gonna fold John.
Narrator 1: And that he's cheating.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John: Well we're four players to the flop and it's Queen, King, six. That gives Crothers a pair of Kings and puts the Captain one card away from a straight flush.
Narrator 2: Things certainly are heating up mister. Tom is first to act.
Narrator 2: Oh and he is all in with two Jacks. That is a dangerous bluff with the higher King and Queen on the board. That makes this our...
Narrator 2: Marchingdog.com all in moment.
Narrator 2: Crothers is quick to call and that'll put all of his chips on the line.
Narrator 2: Mulligan doesn't look like he knows what to do.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy: Is he telling the other players the cards in his hands?
Narrator 2: It certainly appears that way Jimmy.
Narrator 2: Oh looks like Tom's cheating as well Carol.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol: That's right. I have no clue how he did it, but he traded his Jacks for Queens.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol: Mulligan now in a deep hole with half of his chips at risk here.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol: And the Captain calls right behind him which will put everyone all in.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol: Aw, I should have seen that coming.
Narrator 2: And this is why the Dead Man's Hand tournament is my favorite event to cover Wynona.
Dealer: That's discard. Good luck gentlemen.
Narrator 2: Eight of Diamonds. That doesn't help anybody and Tom wins the pot.
Narrator 2: Who says cheaters never win John? Tom knocks out the Captain and Crothers with those three Queens.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol/Wynona: Hold on. That blast made by the Captain seems to have exposed something in the center of the table Gary.
Narrator 2/Gary: You're right Lance there's definitely something hidden just under the felt.
Narrator 1/Billy/Bob/James/John/Jimmy/Carol/Wynona/Lance: It's what makes poker the fastest growing sport in the world today. Winners, losers, hands folded, arms chopped off, bombs, skulls, grog and fish. For Leslie Sebastian Charles, I'm Al Lukovich. Thanks for joining us here at the WPPPT.

Episode 6:
Mr. Nigel: Morningsy.
He is approached from stage right by Mr. Gibson, another red crab, wearing a white driver's cap and a large black moustache. He stops in front of a bottle of vitamins that is resting on the sand to the left of Mr. Nigel.
Mr. Gibson: Oh yes yes. Good morning Mr. Nigel.
Mr. Nigel: Oh good morning Mr. Gibson. Would you care for some toast and marmalade.
Mr. Gibson: No no. Good of you, old boy, but no toast for me until after I have taken my vitamins.
Mr. Nigel: Don't eat those vitamins. There's too much aluminium in 'em.
Mr. Gibson: Oh yes. Quite right that. Oh, ho chortle. Aluminium.
Mr. Nigel: Oh ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. Aluminium in 'em. Ho ho.
Narrator: Soon the crew was on deck, and the ship was underway..
Narrator: Knowing that together, not beast, nor weather, nor man could stop them.
Narrator: But knowing not what stood between them and their destination.
British Soldier: I'll kiss Napoleon before I see pirates leave any zone armed with Britain's best fortifications! Let them come!!!
Gorilla: BLLRAAPHAAR!
Gorilla: WAARRGGG!
Gorilla: RRAAARRHH!
Gorilla: Meh.
Episode 7:
Episode 8:

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:38 pm

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