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eudaemon69 · Kilroy Joined: 08 Dec 2012 Posts: 2

[BOOK] Beta Read/Critique requested.

**Posted:** Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:01 am

Enzd · Veteran Joined: 13 Oct 2010 Posts: 94

Gonna be honest, I cringed when I read "masked attacker" >_> But I will download it and read it on the way to work tomorrow. Thanks for sharing.

**Posted:** Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:09 am

eudaemon69 · Kilroy Joined: 08 Dec 2012 Posts: 2

I figured that would be a reaction, I wanted to take a lot of the tropes and twist them around into something new. I know a lot of people would see 'Mask' and think 'Oh God, proxies'... but I think I've done something that makes more sense, in my mind at least and introduces another mystery along the way. Don't want to say too much, but if you're sick of proxies I don't think you'll mind when you find out what the white masks really mean.

Thats all assuming I'm anywhere near as clever as I hope I am with a lot of these story points and metaphors. Or I might just suck at writing.. hey thats what part of this is for, to see if something that entertained me would actually entertain readers.

Edit: Oh and as fair warning, I tried to edit it to the point that the grammar and word choice was mostly Ok but I do see a lot of places that need work. I waffle a lot on certain dialog constructions, it's something I'm going to address in the next draft. But I mainly want to make sure that the major story beats make sense and that the end feels, appropriate.

**Posted:** Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:20 am