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[SPOILER ALERT] What do you guys think of these characters?
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Slendermau5
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Joined: 02 Nov 2012
Posts: 246
Location: An abandoned hospital

 		[SPOILER ALERT] What do you guys think of these characters?
Okay, this slendy-vlog hasn't been made yet, but I'm putting "spoiler alert" because I don't want anyone going out and leaking this once the series gets in motion.

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
You may have seen me posting before asking for advice on my slender-vlog that I'm planning out. If not, then now you know that I'm planning out a slender-vlog and I will be seeking a lot of advice on this forum in the future.

This time round, I need to know what you guys think of these characters that I've thought up for a slender-vlog. As far as slender-vlog characters go, I'd say they're pretty decent, but I want to make this vlog as amazing as possible. WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. I WILL REMOVE THIS POST ONCE I GET SOME ANSWERS.

Dan Coleman: Dan is the main protagonist and the owner of the YouTube account where the videos are posted. He is very decisive and spontaneous, he's pretty witty with a little taste for comedy, loves showing off, and knows what he's talking about. However, as the series progresses, our ol' friend Slendy slowly drives little Danny crazy, and suddenly he becomes more irritable and even violent.

Ashley Smith: The female protagonist and a friend of Dan's, Ashley also owns the YouTube account, and regularly uploads videos of her own. She's not your ordinary gal - she loves the whole idea of scary $#*! happening all over the place, just as long as it's not happening to her. This is when she loves to pick fights, even with Slendy himself. The fact that she is being stalked often makes her very emotional and highly strung.

Erin Smith: An older cousin of Ashley. Erin is seems like a proxy, but is not - in fact, she is the opposite. She tries to protect Dan and Ashley from the Slenderman as she was taken by him as a very young child. Despite not being a proxy, she has many of the characteristics of one; she conceals her identity by wearing a hood, and frequently hacks into Dan's account with cryptic videos. However, she only does this with good intentions, although she is often on the receiving end of Dan's anger.

Matt Thomas: Matt is an old childhood friend of Dan and Ashley's, and towards the later episodes a genuine proxy. He has been seeing the Slenderman for most of his life, and so refuses to help Dan and Ashley with trying to escape as he fears for his own safety as well as their's. After getting Slender-snatched, he becomes completely insane and loses his mind with trauma.


As I said, I'm removing this once I get a few replies. Just let me know what you think of the characters, and give me any ways to improve them.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:46 am
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perspicacious_loris
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Joined: 19 Feb 2012
Posts: 291

 		I recommend you remove this post right now because this is not really a good place to put major spoilers for a series.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:21 am
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konamouse
Official uF Dietitian


Joined: 02 Dec 2002
Posts: 8010
Location: My own alternate reality

 		The Puppet Master thread is probably a better place for this thread. And Admin really frowns on post edits. Destroys the flow of thread when the original post is removed/edited to the point that subsequent replies don't make sense.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:10 pm
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SignerJ
Unfettered


Joined: 08 Oct 2011
Posts: 514
Location: Earth

 		Well, uhh, let's see...

Your characters seem fine and such, even good. Please send me a link to your series or something once you start it up!

Also, you may want to remove the spoiler information. Not like you haven't been told already.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:13 pm
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SaigoSentinel
Decorated


Joined: 18 Sep 2012
Posts: 193

 		Well, let's see here. Anything I say is NOT meant to be rude or disrespectful, just wanted to point that out. I'll do my best NOT to sound like it, just know my comments are meant to help you.

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Danny somewhat reminds me of a mix of Vinny and Evan from EMH. Like, average joe kinda guy, who slowly is driven insane ya know? I would give your protagonist a bit more of a characteristic to make him distinct and memorable. Tbh no one cares if an average joe is being stalked by Slendy, it's WHO the character IS that makes people care. For Example: Noah Maxwell has his "charming" appearance (lol) and his foul temper that lets people connect with him; Jeff (EMH) is like the friendly giant (tall) who seems to care about the situation, etc. Just give the main protag a distinct characteristic that makes him unique, ya know?

Ashley reminds me of a female version of Evan. If I were you, I would give Ashley a reason to be so aggressive and interested in fights (even with Slendy). Something tells me though that if you combine a female Evan with a male Evan-Vinny hybrid, it can either be tremendously successful, or it can be a wreck. Just make sure the personalities go well together, you know?

I like the character of Erin. The idea of a character exhibiting the traits of a proxy but not being one is quite interesting and unique to me. Props on that one. Good job not using the mask cliche. It's getting expired and I think the proxies can hide their identity through other methods, which I see you picked up on.

Matt seems cool, just make sure the actor can truly portray insanity, if he really does go insane like you claim.

Other than that, you seem to have a good start! I'll be glad to check it out if I have time! Good luck!


**I will edit this if necessary for context purposes, just let me know.**

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:48 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		People get rid of spoiler comments on there.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:22 pm
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ChildOfAtom
Unfictologist


Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Posts: 1606
Location: NY, NY

 		As KonaMouse said (and they are a much more important person around here than me...) this REALLY isn't the way to handle this.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 2:09 am
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Uniquename
Veteran


Joined: 31 Jan 2011
Posts: 143

 		Yeah, first off, you're spoiling your series before it's even made. In my opinion, that's fucking retarded. I honestly wouldn't even bother making it at the point, not to crush your dreams or anything. This is one of the most GENERIC threads on this fucking forum and I for one am sick of it. Stop trying to make another marble hornets, this shit has been done before, and your entire story has already been done before. Try something that HASN'T been done before and DON'T post it on this forum. I still love you though. <3

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:25 am
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Lithp
I Have No Life


Joined: 04 Mar 2012
Posts: 2058

 		I question this decision as well, I'd have tried to make it more covert, but I do think there are some novel ideas here.

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
I'd really compare it more to EverymanHYBRID than Marble Hornets. The main character sounds a bit like The Boys. Then again, Evan is the only one shown going nuts, and that isn't Driven To Madness so much as Hijacked By Gannon. So I'd say that showing the actual descent into madness is pretty good.

I like Erin and Ashley. A conflict between a faux-proxy and a real one is a variant on the proxy idea that is actually interesting, and it avoids the focus-on-one-gender problem. I would agree that Ashley sounds a bit too much like "Female Evan," though.

I'd actually advise adding more characters, and exploring different reactions to Slenderstalking with each one. Not everyone would become paranoid and irritable. Some would try to give up and die, others may be in denial, some may try to isolate themselves from the world, etc.
[/spoiler]

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:02 am
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Oscar Langley
Unfettered


Joined: 14 Aug 2010
Posts: 322
Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Dan Coleman: The first thing that comes to mind is weather or not Pre-Breakdown Dan is going to be funny. Because a character who tries to be funny but isn't could make the vlog hard to watch, but if he's honestly entertaining then it could be great.

Ashley Smith: This could also be either good or bad, depending on how authentic her character comes across and how it meshes with the tone of the series.

Erin Smith and Matt Thomas: As a viewer, my advice to any Slendervlog starting out would be to avoid as many cliches as you can. When a totheark guy shows up out of nowhere with a word puzzle all I can think is "why would someone actually do this? what does this have to do with the plot? did the creator just throw it in because he thought he had to?" If Erin has her own reasons to be cryptic and disguise her identity, then no problem tl;dr: They're a really good idea just be careful.


PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 4:16 pm
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thatbeastaroundthecorner
Account Disabled


Joined: 29 Oct 2012
Posts: 142
Location: Texas

 		Re: [SPOILER ALERT] What do you guys think of these characters?
Slendermau5 wrote:
Okay, this slendy-vlog hasn't been made yet, but I'm putting "spoiler alert" because I don't want anyone going out and leaking this once the series gets in motion.

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
You may have seen me posting before asking for advice on my slender-vlog that I'm planning out. If not, then now you know that I'm planning out a slender-vlog and I will be seeking a lot of advice on this forum in the future.

This time round, I need to know what you guys think of these characters that I've thought up for a slender-vlog. As far as slender-vlog characters go, I'd say they're pretty decent, but I want to make this vlog as amazing as possible. WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. I WILL REMOVE THIS POST ONCE I GET SOME ANSWERS.

Dan Coleman: Dan is the main protagonist and the owner of the YouTube account where the videos are posted. He is very decisive and spontaneous, he's pretty witty with a little taste for comedy, loves showing off, and knows what he's talking about. However, as the series progresses, our ol' friend Slendy slowly drives little Danny crazy, and suddenly he becomes more irritable and even violent.

Ashley Smith: The female protagonist and a friend of Dan's, Ashley also owns the YouTube account, and regularly uploads videos of her own. She's not your ordinary gal - she loves the whole idea of scary $#*! happening all over the place, just as long as it's not happening to her. This is when she loves to pick fights, even with Slendy himself. The fact that she is being stalked often makes her very emotional and highly strung.

Erin Smith: An older cousin of Ashley. Erin is seems like a proxy, but is not - in fact, she is the opposite. She tries to protect Dan and Ashley from the Slenderman as she was taken by him as a very young child. Despite not being a proxy, she has many of the characteristics of one; she conceals her identity by wearing a hood, and frequently hacks into Dan's account with cryptic videos. However, she only does this with good intentions, although she is often on the receiving end of Dan's anger.

Matt Thomas: Matt is an old childhood friend of Dan and Ashley's, and towards the later episodes a genuine proxy. He has been seeing the Slenderman for most of his life, and so refuses to help Dan and Ashley with trying to escape as he fears for his own safety as well as their's. After getting Slender-snatched, he becomes completely insane and loses his mind with trauma.


As I said, I'm removing this once I get a few replies. Just let me know what you think of the characters, and give me any ways to improve them.




Sounds a whole lot like EMH.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 4:40 pm
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Tharol
I Have 100 Cats and Smell of Wee

Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Posts: 4805
Location: Muncie, Indiana

 		People there gave remarks threads.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:12 pm
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natas
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Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 3177
Location: Northwest Indiana

 		Re: [SPOILER ALERT] What do you guys think of these characters?
Slendermau5 wrote:
Okay, this slendy-vlog hasn't been made yet, but I'm putting "spoiler alert" because I don't want anyone going out and leaking this once the series gets in motion.

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
You may have seen me posting before asking for advice on my slender-vlog that I'm planning out. If not, then now you know that I'm planning out a slender-vlog and I will be seeking a lot of advice on this forum in the future.

This time round, I need to know what you guys think of these characters that I've thought up for a slender-vlog. As far as slender-vlog characters go, I'd say they're pretty decent, but I want to make this vlog as amazing as possible. WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. I WILL REMOVE THIS POST ONCE I GET SOME ANSWERS.

Dan Coleman: Dan is the main protagonist and the owner of the YouTube account where the videos are posted. He is very decisive and spontaneous, he's pretty witty with a little taste for comedy, loves showing off, and knows what he's talking about. However, as the series progresses, our ol' friend Slendy slowly drives little Danny crazy, and suddenly he becomes more irritable and even violent.

Ashley Smith: The female protagonist and a friend of Dan's, Ashley also owns the YouTube account, and regularly uploads videos of her own. She's not your ordinary gal - she loves the whole idea of scary $#*! happening all over the place, just as long as it's not happening to her. This is when she loves to pick fights, even with Slendy himself. The fact that she is being stalked often makes her very emotional and highly strung.

Erin Smith: An older cousin of Ashley. Erin is seems like a proxy, but is not - in fact, she is the opposite. She tries to protect Dan and Ashley from the Slenderman as she was taken by him as a very young child. Despite not being a proxy, she has many of the characteristics of one; she conceals her identity by wearing a hood, and frequently hacks into Dan's account with cryptic videos. However, she only does this with good intentions, although she is often on the receiving end of Dan's anger.

Matt Thomas: Matt is an old childhood friend of Dan and Ashley's, and towards the later episodes a genuine proxy. He has been seeing the Slenderman for most of his life, and so refuses to help Dan and Ashley with trying to escape as he fears for his own safety as well as their's. After getting Slender-snatched, he becomes completely insane and loses his mind with trauma.


As I said, I'm removing this once I get a few replies. Just let me know what you think of the characters, and give me any ways to improve them.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:44 pm
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MageSteff
Pretty talky there aintcha, Talky?


Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 2716
Location: State of Denial

 		Usually not a good idea to go around asking for opinions before your ARG is in the can and ready to go. It spoils the effect.

Unless you have spoken to the original copywrite holder of the material, basing follow up args on past ones you would need to make certain that your players understand you are doing a Fan based homage to an ARG that you enjoyed so that no one thinks that the original team is working on your story.
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A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead


PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:57 pm
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