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 Forum index » Diversions » TimeWasters
Have a disease named after you!
Moderators: Giskard, ndemeter, ScarpeGrosse
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LazarusLong
Unfettered


Joined: 20 Mar 2003
Posts: 453
Location: 93 miles SW of Ted Kaczynski's cabin

 		Have a disease named after you!
You can have a disease named after you!

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/disease

Mine:
Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Textbook example. You are suffering from Long's Syndrome.

Cause: sexually transmitted

Symptoms: occasional halo, confusion, narcolepsy, breathing difficulties

Cure: infect someone else

_________________
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:11 pm
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Diandra
Unfettered


Joined: 27 Sep 2002
Posts: 390

 		Who wrote this thing. I think they know me.


Spoiler (Rollover to View):
Diaitis

Cause: lack of sleep

Symptoms: colour blindness, orange blotches, crying

Cure: take two shots of morphine every day before meals

_________________
You can't solve vast puzzles with half-vast ideas!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:37 pm
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GiskardModerator
Sassypants


Joined: 07 Oct 2003
Posts: 2066
Location: Chicago

 		Heh, the cure to my disease might give me Long's Syndrome Shocked

Spoiler (Rollover to View):
I thought as much. You are suffering from
Giskarditis.
Cause: zombie attack

Symptoms: rosy cheeks, abdominal swelling, foot swelling, sudden aphasia

Cure: smoke one and a half cigarettes every day before meals

_________________
"They never tell you truth is subjective, they only tell you not to lie." -- Gary Jules

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:45 pm
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joebrent
Unfettered


Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 640
Location: New York, sometimes
Quote:
I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
Joebrentosis.
Cause: excessive Internet usage

Symptoms: excess mucus, extremely low blood pressure, watery eyes

Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up


I even have a cold at the moment. Well, see you all in a thousand years.
_________________
http://www.josephbrent.com

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:51 pm
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Varin
I Have No Life


Joined: 02 Dec 2002
Posts: 2456
Location: South of where I used to be
Quote:
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Varinosis.
Cause: sexually transmitted

Symptoms: depression, sudden dislike of modern architecture, sudden appetite changes, ectoplasm

Cure: trepanning


And I thought it was just an ear infection....
_________________
"I still miss him to this day and probably always will." - Todd Keeler, Chasing the Wish

"meta meta meta, I made you out of play..." ~ j5

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:00 pm
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bagsbee
Unfettered


Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Posts: 417
Location: NYC
Quote:
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Bagsbee's Disorder.

Cause: bad cheese

Symptoms: hair loss, sudden hot flushes, occasional constipation, swarms of bees

Cure: take four ibuprofen and come back in the morning


PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:02 pm
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BoJangles
Boot

Joined: 14 Mar 2003
Posts: 67
Location: B.C. Canada

 		Good lord! You are suffering from
BoJangles' Lurgy.
Cause: thinking too hard

Symptoms: excessive facial hair, vague thirst for human blood, pointy ears

Cure: Kryptonite
_________________
I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remeber any of the damn things. - Dorothy Parker

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:22 pm
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Martavius
Charter Member


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 55
Location: Toronto
Quote:
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Martaviusitis.
Cause: poor dental hygiene

Symptoms: frequent vegetarianism, turning into a giant monster, extreme black eyes, vague facial hair

Cure: eat more salt


And just because it had to be done:

Quote:
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
JMXosis.
Cause: the wrong type of snow

Symptoms: vomiting blood, blood powdering, euphoria

Cure: infect someone else


Muahahahahaha
_________________
Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 5:00 pm
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cabalagent23
Veteran

Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 99

 		Another one that seems just a little too accurate Wink

Quote:
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Cabalagent's Disorder.
Cause: lack of sleep

Symptoms: restlessness, aphasia, extreme muscle spasms

Cure: acupuncture



PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:20 pm
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colin
Entrenched

Joined: 13 Oct 2003
Posts: 810
Location: Australia

 		Congratulations! You are suffering from
Colin's Lurgy.

Cause: computer virus
Symptoms: premature greying, vague hair growth, glowing
Cure: don't do it again

...congratulations? i guess its a good thing

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:27 pm
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aliendial
Unfictologist


Joined: 29 Sep 2002
Posts: 3438
Location: Far Far Away. Nowhere Near You. Really.

 		You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Aliendial's Disorder.
Cause: stress

Symptoms: steam whistling from ears, finger pain, sweating

Cure: take a day off work


<see the steam?> Twisted Evil
_________________
aliendial

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:05 pm
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addlepated
Unfictologist


Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 1885
Location: Austin, Texas
Quote:
Addlepateditis.

Cause: cursed amulet

Symptoms: occasional breast pain, occasional regurgitation, metallic spots

Cure: take seven spoons of cough medicine a day until it goes away

I'll have to go to rehab after. Anyone else have painful boobs?

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:20 pm
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Myssfitz
Unfettered


Joined: 26 Feb 2003
Posts: 695
Location: In the pasture
Quote:
Textbook example. You are suffering from
Myssfitz's Disease.

Cause: Egyptian curse

Symptoms: narcolepsy, extremely chapped lips, occasional dizziness

Cure: drink a few glasses of water every day for the rest of your life

_________________
Well, Moo

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:40 pm
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jamesi
Sentient Being


Joined: 25 Sep 2002
Posts: 2195
Location: Canadia

 		Bad luck! You are suffering from
Jamesi's Disorder.

Cause: genetically-modified noodles

Symptoms: excessive confusion, sudden swarms of bees, arm numbness, iris colour-changes

Cure: psychiatry
_________________
Digital Trail | Twitter | Retired ARGFest-o-Con 2012 Project Manager

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:52 pm
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Sunny du Pree
Unfettered


Joined: 01 Jan 2003
Posts: 636
Location: Push, Nevada

 		ok is it hair bleach or clorox????

eeee- eeeeeee- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote:
I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
SunnyDuPree's Disorder.
Cause: stress

Symptoms: ringing in the ears, fear of the number thirteen, squeaky voice

Cure: bleach


how did THEY know that finding my inner dolphin would get such mileage???
_________________
Grace and Peace
Sunny Du Pree
I dreamed a dream and now that dream has come for me

PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 11:24 pm
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